Help with a translation (a few different grammar points)

[GenjiMain]

Hi all. I am trying to do an episode recap of a show we watched at school but in Japanese. I've used google translate here as I'm punching way above my weight, so please forgive me. This will be the first of a series of posts where I am kind of looking for a translation but still want to learn the actual grammar point too. I could ask one of the Japanese teachers to just translate it, but why not make it a learning process right? Anyway, if anyone can correct the translation where it's wrong and answer my questions I would appreciate it!

The first paragraph is as follows:

At the beginning of the episode, we are introduced to Vi and Powder. As they enter the remains of the battlefield they find Vander, who informs them that their parent have died and takes them on as his own adoptive children.

エピソードの冒頭で、ViとPowderを紹介します。彼らが戦場の残骸に入ると、彼らはヴァンダーを見つけます。Vanderは彼らに両親が死んだことを知らせ、彼らを彼自身の養子として連れて行きます。

I actually have two questions in regards to "彼らが戦場の残骸に入ると、彼らはヴァンダーを見つけます". First, is と the appropriate conjunction here? When reading through it, I felt ときに was a better fit. My second question is, can I just omit "彼らは"?

Regarding 彼らを彼自身の養子として連れて行きます, I am wondering if 連れて行きます is the best phrase here. Honestly this entire sentence is above my level. I understand 連れて行く means to take (a person), but I don't know if that is the best translation here.

Of course, if there are any other things I should change in this paragraph please let me know. Thanks!!!

 

[Toritoribe]

戦場の残骸

What does "remains" refer to specifically? 残骸 might not be appropriate depending on it.

First, is と the appropriate conjunction here? When reading through it, I felt ときに was a better fit.

と is a particle(接続助詞) for conditional, meaning "when" there. It has a nuance that the two events happen continuously or at the same time.
e.g.
家に帰ると、知らない人がいた。
When I came home, there was a stranger there.

My second question is, can I just omit "彼らは"?

You can omit 彼らは, but I would say ヴァンダーがそこにいました。 in the main clause.

Regarding 彼らを彼自身の養子として連れて行きます, I am wondering if 連れて行きます is the best phrase here. Honestly this entire sentence is above my level. I understand 連れて行く means to take (a person), but I don't know if that is the best translation here.

my attempt
彼らを養子として引き取ると告げます。

 

[GenjiMain]

What does "remains" refer to specifically? 残骸 might not be appropriate depending on it.

Indeed remains could be interpreted many ways, sorry. What I mean by remains would be something like 'the situation that remains' and less so about 'physical remains' (although obviously the two are inextricably linked). 'Aftermath' would be a fairly apt synonym I think.

と is a particle(接続助詞) for conditional, meaning "when" there. It has a nuance that the two events happen continuously or at the same time.
e.g.

たしかに

You can omit 彼らは, but I would say ヴァンダーがそこにいました。 in the main clause.

Do you mean I ought to replace "ヴァンダーを見つけます" with "ヴァンダーがそこにいました"?

Thank you for your help ;-;

 

[Toritoribe]

What I mean by remains would be something like 'the situation that remains' and less so about 'physical remains' (although obviously the two are inextricably linked). 'Aftermath' would be a fairly apt synonym I think.

Then, 戦場の跡地 or 戦場跡 might be more appropriate than 残骸.

Do you mean I ought to replace "ヴァンダーを見つけます" with "ヴァンダーがそこにいました"?

ヴァンダーを見つけます is understandable, but it sounds a bit awkward since 見つけます doesn't fit the "sudden" nuance of と.