Women Ever Confess?

[Shin_ji80]

I've been thinking that the world had change a lot.

However, does the women ever confess to the guy that they like?
Or, they simply just wait for the guy to approach/confess to them?

why and why not?

 

[kirei_na_me]

Well, I don't know about other women. I know a lot of women who will make the first move by telling whoever it is that they like them.

I must admit that I am not like that. I will not confess anything until someone confesses it to me first. That is a fault of mine, I guess. I keep my guard up. I have probably passed up a lot of opportunities being that way, too. I used to have a rule. No "I love you" until I hear it first. I used to tell my friends that.

With me, I guess I was brought up kind of old fashioned, in that girls are supposed to wait to be pursued by the guy. I never called guys back when I was in the dating phase. They called me, or there was no calling done.

 

[Kinsao]

Show, not tell, that's me

Hey, that sounds kind of... oh, never mind... :sorry:

I don't mind to let a guy know if I'm interested in him, but I never do the chasing thing... yeah some opportunities go by... I just prefer that he does the chasing... coz I'm an arrogant *****

 

[Tsuyoiko]

I have never been afraid to make the first move. I would rather get turned down than miss an opportunity. But my husband asked me out.

 

[Mospeada30]

My wife was the one who confessed first. So I reciprocated

 

[quiet sunshine]

Would it be easier to get reciprocation if women confess first?

 

[lexico]

Would it be easier to get reciprocation if women confess first?

I would say that is totally unpredictable in general.
Perhaps this might help.
(I'm thinking in a mathematical model of mating. )
Let us assume that for quiet sunshine, there are a certain number of elligible bachelors. Now for each elligible bachelor, there would be a number of elligible bachelorettes.

1) To go after your target would give you a better chance of finding what you want. To filter out of incoming confessions might be too much work; and you might be swept away by emotions that might prove regrettable.

2) Since the number of elligible bachelors would generally decrease with time, better make a reasonably quick move before they dry up ! (I'm exaggerating. )

3) By going after your target with a good feel for what you want, the whole process of dating/marriage/childraising might become more enjoyable.

4) Even if your target turns your offer down, or takes it but soon turns out rather disappointing, at least you would have gained the knowledge and experience of yourself, your target, your decision-making process, and most of all, human interaction (or communication). These would increase your general satisfaction in life, I think. ;-)

5) Armed with your improved knowledge of self and others, your chance of making a good decision and timely, moderated move next time will increase.

6) Increased self-confidence and esteem.

7) To explore and discover might be more fitting for a person with an active mind such as yourself.

 

[quiet sunshine]

Wow! Your work is always amazing!

4) Even if your target turns your offer down, or takes it but soon turns out rather disappointing, at least you would have gained the knowledge and experience of yourself, your target, your decision-making process, and most of all, human interaction (or communication). These would increase your general satisfaction in life, I think. ;-)

Wouldn't that incur pain and sadness? I might be smashed before I gain those knowledge.

7) To explore and discover might be more fitting for a person with an active mind such as yourself.

Really? But I guess I would never be active in such kind of case.
Hm, which kind of women do men prefer? Those who being active to confess first or those being passive waiting to be chased?

 

[lexico]

Wouldn't that incur pain and sadness? I might be smashed before I gain those knowledge.

Haha ! Never to worry !
People have died of loss of oxygen; loss of nutrition; loss of body parts; but never has anyone died of failed love, almost. Esp. in the early stages of friendly maneuver or short-lived dating... not much invested, no great loss.

There are exceptional cases, but why generalize on the exceptions ?
(Most make good, moving, passionate stories for literature, drama, theatre, film, manga, anime. But that's fiction. )

Really? But I guess I would never be active in such kind of case.

Well, who knows ? You might turn out to be the hottest, most outgoing (in a good sense of course) elligible bachelorette in town. ;-)
It's all in the mind; well, a little consideration for the town elders might come into play, but you aren't going to marry the town elders, are you ?
I'm sure you would be prudent enough to behave wisely; acting coy, but carrying out all your love-operations in discreet ways.... I think a lot of females do that for their reputation for propriety's sake, even sincerely.
Remember the aphorisms;

All is fair in love and war !

Only the brave deserves the fair !

The brothers were valient !

Hm, which kind of women do men prefer? Those who being active to confess first or those being passive waiting to be chased?

That would totally depend on the person. But one thing for sure; if the guy was meant for you, he wouldn't mind either way.

In all honesty I think people don't talk about it much, but the feelings are often mutual. People send little signals -- flirting signals so to speak. To reciprocate on those tiny signals, and to let the relationship grow beyond flirting <== That would make all the difference. I understand some places (like when I was growing up) flirting was not PC, so one might have to work just a little harder !

 

[quiet sunshine]

Haha ! Never to worry !
People have died of loss of oxygen; loss of nutrition; loss of body parts; but never has anyone died of failed love, almost. Esp. in the early stages of friendly maneuver or short-lived dating... not much invested, no great loss.

Of course I don't worry, love isn't the whole and only thing in life, I'll never be so fragile.

but you aren't going to marry the town elders, are you ?

Who knows? All the young men seem have married.

I'm sure you would be prudent enough to behave wisely; acting coy, but carrying out all your love-operations in discreet ways....

Oh, that sounds like me! I think most probably I would try every way to figure out my target's thought first.

 

[lexico]

Of course I don't worry, love isn't the whole and only thing in life, I'll never be so fragile.

Bravo ! Way to go !

Who knows? All the young men seem have married.

Hmm... well, when the young ones are gone, there must be younger ones ? :haihai:

Oh, that sounds like me! I think most probably I would try every way to figure out my target's thought first.

That is, I think, the most thrilling part of dating. At least at first.
Pick an acacia leaf; loves me--loves me not--loves me--loves me not--(iterate till last leaf)

 

[Duo]

Interesting discussions you guys have going here. As far as I can remember I was usually the one going for the first move with girls that I liked and that like me back. Though some may have sent stronger signals than others, I must admit. Is funny though, men want women to be more open, but if a woman targets a man too strongly he will be put off thinking like, what's wrong with her ?

Sooo I'd say for me anyways, if a woman came up to be and said like hey I like you would u consider going out with me would be a good way on going about it. And let's admit it, most women will not be turned down, whereas most men will , so you women out there don't be afraid to take the first stepl. You have an immense power of over men, you just have to realize it and then exploit it for your own benefits

 

[Kinsao]

Hmm... well, when the young ones are gone, there must be younger ones ?

ROFL @ that comment!

 

[quiet sunshine]

Hmm... well, when the young ones are gone, there must be younger ones ? :haihai:

Hey, that just matches! women's life span are longer than men's! Seriously, I guess I wouldn't like younger ones, but who knows? Everything is possible, haha!

That is, I think, the most thrilling part of dating. At least at first.
Pick an acacia leaf; loves me--loves me not--loves me--loves me not--(iterate till last leaf)

Hahahaha, that's a good way! I'd better make a note.

 

[Shin_ji80]

As I realise, women don't usually make the first move. But why? because of their image or they are trying to "sell at the high price"?
Since they know that they will loss the opportunity, why do that to themselves even they meet their Mr. Right?

Since they don't want to make the first move, that's fine. Most of the guys will make their first move to know the the women and try to spend more time with them, but I found that women will think the guys are annoying or something like that.

What are they thinking about?

 

[Kinsao]

Personally, I have to admit it is mainly an 'image' thing with me...

But maybe it's also that some women like a man who takes up a challenge... :?

It's a vicious circle - both sexes like to see initiative in the other! So sometimes you get this situation where neither will make the first move... and that becomes a bit ridiculous, sometimes.

Awww, I don't think it's true that women see (most or all of) guys who take the initiative as annoying! ☝ It's only annoying if they are either really unattractive (I mean in an anti-social way like they smell bad or something - I'm not just talking about someone who *doesn't* look like a film star, lol), incredibly drunk (like, on point of throwing up sort of drunk ) or, they keep on and on pestering you when you've made it clear you're not interested. If some guy ask you for a date or make a move, and you're not interested and he's just cool and retires with dignity, that's fine!

 

[Keiichi]

Mini survey: How many of you girls here do not think you're attractive?

Keiichi

☝

 

[Brooker]

I never called guys back when I was in the dating phase. They called me, or there was no calling done.

Sorry Kirei, but it sucks when girls do that. You wouldn't even call if he left a message or something? It makes it impossible to get ahold of the girl. You just have to keep calling until you catch them at home and leaving a message doesn't do any good because they don't return the call and then it's pretty much guaranteed you'll never see or talk to eachother again. If you keep calling you just end up feeling like a stalker or looser or something, so eventually you just stop calling.

 

[Keiichi]

Sorry Kirei, but it sucks when girls do that. You wouldn't even call if he left a message or something? It makes it impossible to get ahold of the girl. You just have to keep calling until you catch them at home and leaving a message doesn't do any good because they don't return the call and then it's pretty much guaranteed you'll never see or talk to eachother again. If you keep calling you just end up feeling like a stalker or looser or something, so eventually you just stop calling.

Same here. I agree with that, I have that happen too, and it makes me wonder whether the girl is just really shy, uninterested, or something. Or believe that guys always make the initiative for phone calls...
And I stop calling them. I don't know if that's the right decision or not.

Keiichi

☝

 

[Jungle Boy]

I wish more women would do something (anything) first to let guys know she is interested. The worst part is little "hints" because I don't take hints at all.... I wish they would just come right and say something. It's always up to they guy and if your really quiet and low key like myself then it's practically a dating death sentance.

 

[Shin_ji80]

I totally agree with Brooker, Keiichi and Jungle Boy. Women really should learn how to make their next move. To my aware, most of the time women make guys look like a looser or a clown. They will never tell you whether they are interested in you or not.

They just want to make you guess all the possibilities and want to see what are you going to do next to impress them. I think they are laughing behind you by what you are doing.

The other thing is, women want to be like a star or something like. To fall in love like in the movie. Fantasy, Advanture and stuff like that.

Oh my....give me a break....

Sorry girls, :sorry: I know not all of you are like that. BUT ALL GIRLS I KNOW ARE ALL LIKE THAT

 

[Keiichi]

Though I don't blame some girls for that. They get hit on by guys so much, I think it's up to the guys to really "stand out" from the rest of them for the girl to actually want to call them back.
But that gives me the impression whether those girls that don't call me do get hit on by guys a lot. Maybe they do, since they're fairly attractive...

Keiichi

 

[Brooker]

I'm not asking girls to make all the first moves or anything, just return a freakin' phone call.

 

[Jungle Boy]

I'm not asking girls to make all the first moves or anything

Well I am! Women seem to expect men to do it all and if the man doesn't come on strong and act all "manly" they assume he's not at all interested. Now I realize not all women are like this but the ones I have had contact with are!

I just wish the woman would take total charge and make herself very clear at all times because with very quiet and low key guys like myself it's virtually impossible to be "agressive" or say "risque" things because it's just not me and if I try it comes across as idiotic and ackward because, agian, it's just not me. And if you don't then like I mentioned most just assume your not at all interested and bugger off. It's a loose/loose situation, or so I find atleast.

 

[Brooker]

I just wish the woman would take total charge and make herself very clear at all times

And I'd like my own private jet. That's just not how women operate.