Warning of 2 Nigerian men in Tokyo

[Otenba]

I've been pondering about whether or not to post this for half a year, which is the rough time span between the event and now. Because the story is simply embarrassing.
Still, women staying in or going to Tokyo should be warned of these 2 dangerous individuals. The only reason one of them didn't just rape me then and there, was my impressive size combined with a sudden punch on his nose.

On January 3rd 2008, I went to Club Asia in Shibuya to enjoy the New Year's Bash, a reggae party. In front of the entrance, I met 2 Nigerian men who seemed decent and they immediately addressed me and asked if there was anything fun to do tonight, and I guessed it's okay so I asked them to join me to the club. Stating clearly that I'm not interested in more than smalltalk.

A few hours of small-talk followed and I had a hard time declining their offers to buy me an alcoholic drink. I told them I had a disease that could kill me if I consumed alcohol, but nevermind. Their immense disrespect had already begun. Date-rape drugs at the cost of the date's life, ey? I guessed that was their plan and kept declining, though I would survive a beer or 2.

That "alcohol-man", a tall (185cm I think) man in his forties or fifties wasn't the problem though, it was his short, stumpy friend, who was about 35 to 40 years old. His name wasn't worth remembering but his face was kinda squashed and his clothing style: leather jacket, shirt, jeans, while the tall one was wearing a beige woolen pullover and I think, dark brown pants. Both had short hair, the curly hair of the tall one started to gray.

So shorty was a pain. After what I thought was some innocent dancing, he grabbed hold of my hands and started getting to a point I don't wish to describe here, let's say his pelvis got too close and too pushy to mine and at some point, he put his slobbery mouth on mine and when I pushed him away for that, he seemed to accept that I didn't want to kiss - and immediately tried again. As for the longish piece of bare flesh at hip height, given his 2 hands were already busy groping me, I need not name it. Yes, in the middle of the dancehall.

At some point, a special guest got on stage and I snapped out of my paralysis that sets in everytime I'm extremely embarrassed. I grabbed Shorty and wacked him on the face. An anecdote not only I would remember

After the party was over, those 2 followed me, trying to grope me and explaining their behavior, I quote: "Listen! We're African!". This excuse for sexual harrassment is an enormous offence to any decent African person because it makes it look like Africans are naturals at it.

So girls, if you encounter 2 black males in Tokyo, fluent English but poor Japanese and referring to themselves as "boku" and claiming to have stayed in Japan for work for about 5 or 6 years, give them lots of space and if they approach you, threaten to get the police.
If you don't believe me, just try finding other guests of that party. The wacking scene drew enough attention I think.

 

[KirinMan]

Could someone explain to me why I should believe this?

 

[Otenba]

Why won't you just explain to me why not?

I'd like you to think very carefully before brushing off my words as a lie. For one: why should I invent such an embarrassing story instead of being glad it didn't really happen? Simple. I didn't invent it.

Also: by dismissing my story as a lie, you are helping sexual offenders to get their way. People reading your reply may choose to believe you rather than me, and by doing so, believe that those 2 individuals are harmless, get involved with them and end up raped.
In other words: you are currently helping rapists by denying their actions. You are no better than them.

 

[alantin]

Well, well.. Let's not get personal here.

Hmm.. I'm sure there are lots of nigerian guys that move in pairs in Tokyo. And there are lots of ***holes in all ethnic groups.

You were unlucky enough to meet these fellows.

Did you report them to the police?


@KirinMan
No reason not to.
Anyway, I don't think it greatly affects anyone if you don't believe it.

 

[Otenba]

Yes, true. And I'm not saying it is because they're Nigerian. I'm just trying to post a heads-up to women who might bump into these 2 individuals as even Japan seems to be a small world and chances to bump into each-other are small, but not zero.

 

[Mike Cash]

It sounds more to me like you helped two sexual offenders get their way.

 

[Otenba]

Why, because I let it get that far? Well maybe I should have snapped his neck once he put a finger on me, I'd loved to, but unfortunately, I have never been able to snap at people who were initially being friendly before it's almost too late. Doesn't justify anyone taking advantage of me. Plus, I didn't want to draw attention. Maybe I reacted too late, and maybe I'm too weak-willed but that doesn't change the fact that their actions were absolutely wrong and unforgivable. And I know I'm not the only woman who tries to bear with things just to avoid an even more embarrassing fuss. There were people there I didn't want to show my "viking side" to.

 

[alantin]

And I know I'm not the only woman who tries to bear with things just to avoid an even more embarrassing fuss.

Perhaps this is why they tried you in such a public place.


Many rapes go unnoticed because the victims are too ashamed to report them. Are the victims therefore responsible for letting the rapists go free?
Perhaps partly so but things usually aren't that simple.
It is in no way any justification for a crime this loathesome.

 

[Otenba]

Yeah, now I regret not having gone to police immediately, but at the time, there were lots of things going on in my head.

 

[KirinMan]

Why won't you just explain to me why not?
I'd like you to think very carefully before brushing off my words as a lie. For one: why should I invent such an embarrassing story instead of being glad it didn't really happen? Simple. I didn't invent it.

First off, you have a serious problem from some of the posts I have read from you regarding racism. You very well could have invented it or you may not have, it is up to the readers here to decide.

Also: by dismissing my story as a lie, you are helping sexual offenders to get their way. People reading your reply may choose to believe you rather than me, and by doing so, believe that those 2 individuals are harmless, get involved with them and end up raped.
In other words: you are currently helping rapists by denying their actions. You are no better than them

Next there is a huge difference between a couple of guys groping with a willing participant on a dance floor to a rape. You have tried and convicted two men that are guilty of what?

If this happened I think you spiced it up to make it sound like more than what happened. What I think it sounds like is a scorned woman who couldnt tell a guy what she wanted clearly. If you are so "impressive" I can not believe you allowed this event to occur.

The only reason one of them didn't just rape me then and there, was my impressive size combined with a sudden punch on his nose.

Not rape that's for sure, That is if this ever happened as well. Let's look at your story......

Their immense disrespect had already begun. Date-rape drugs at the cost of the date's life, ey? I guessed that was their plan and kept declining, though I would survive a beer or 2.

Worried about getting a date rape drug in your drink. Why the suspicion? You admittedly joined them for "small talk". Something sounds pretty fishy here to me.

So shorty was a pain. After what I thought was some innocent dancing, he grabbed hold of my hands and started getting to a point I don't wish to describe here, let's say his pelvis got too close and too pushy to mine and at some point, he put his slobbery mouth on mine and when I pushed him away for that, he seemed to accept that I didn't want to kiss - and immediately tried again.
As for the longish piece of bare flesh at hip height, given his 2 hands were already busy groping me, I need not name it. Yes, in the middle of the dancehall.

Why after the drink episode did you continue to converse with these guys? If you were so concerned about your safety why did you go on to the dance floor for an innocent dance? Mmmm....

Plus the idea of a guy wacking off in a crowd of people, particularly if he was a foreigner here in Japan, and having others in the crowd seeing it and noone doing anything about it sounds ludicrous at best.

At some point, a special guest got on stage and I snapped out of my paralysis that sets in everytime I'm extremely embarrassed. I grabbed Shorty and wacked him on the face. An anecdote not only I would remember

You snapped out of it yet you still stayed there evidently not thinking that things were so "bad" that you were violated and raped at a club in public in the middle of a dance floor. That you wait 6 months later to share the details of this event? You also stuck around till the end of the party?
Must be due to your impressive size and punch in the nose.

After the party was over, those 2 followed me, trying to grope me and explaining their behavior, I quote: "Listen! We're African!". This excuse for sexual harrassment is an enormous offence to any decent African person because it makes it look like Africans are naturals at it.

Back to the point of racism, if you werent or didnt have racist tendencies there would have been no reason to add this little anecdote here.

Sexual harrassment and rape are two totally different things and lastly let me inform you that rape is not a crime about sex, it is a crime about power. I will tell you this dont ever again make the mistake of claiming or assuming that I take rape or any other womens rights issue lightly, you would be dead wrong. I will let it go this time because you didnt know any better.

To make the assumption or claim that because I dont believe your story here based upon not only what you wrote here but other posts on the board, that I am somehow protecting them is not even worthy of any further comment.

 

[Otenba]

Next there is a huge difference between a couple of guys groping with a willing participant on a dance floor to a rape. You have tried and convicted two men that are guilty of what?

If this happened I think you spiced it up to make it sound like more than what happened. What I think it sounds like is a scorned woman who couldnt tell a guy what she wanted clearly. If you are so "impressive" I can not believe you allowed this event to occur.

Bullshit, I even tuned it down.
I never said that any rapüe really happened, I said it was likely to happen given how far they were already going. And I demand you take the "willing" back. What makes you think I was "willing"? The fact that I was too shocked to react and kill the dude immediately?
And don't lie by saying I said I was impressive. I was talking about merely my physique in comparison to Shorty. No matter how big I am though, has it ever occurred to you that some things might just be such a shock that it takes you a while to act?

Worried about getting a date rape drug in your drink. Why the suspicion? You admittedly joined them for "small talk". Something sounds pretty fishy here to me.

Maybe because I had some bad experiences concerning the outcome of "smalltalk" so I was on guard?
Oh by the way, do some research before you act smart. Alcohol IS a date rape drug. Basically, anything that ****s up someone's mind is a date rape drug.

Why after the drink episode did you continue to converse with these guys? If you were so concerned about your safety why did you go on to the dance floor for an innocent dance? Mmmm....

Plus the idea of a guy wacking off in a crowd of people, particularly if he was a foreigner here in Japan, and having others in the crowd seeing it and noone doing anything about it sounds ludicrous at best.

First off, I continued because I was still able to decide for myself whether or not I wanted a drink and as long as they kept their hands home and were unable to treat me to drinks, I felt I had it under control. And as you said, I was hoping that as foreigners in Japan, they'd behave in front of all those people. The tall one did, but the short one didn't, which was probably also due to the darkness on the dancefloor and the fact we were in a small corner most of the time? And also, I continued to talk to them because no matter where I went in that club to be alone, they kept showing up. And since we were already being stared at as the "foreign gathering", I tried to keep the volume low by not screaming "**** off" or something.
One more thing. He wasn't wacking off, he just had his weener dangling from his open pants and in the dark, you couldn't see it, that's why he did it.

You snapped out of it yet you still stayed there evidently not thinking that things were so "bad" that you were violated and raped at a club in public in the middle of a dance floor. That you wait 6 months later to share the details of this event? You also stuck around till the end of the party?
Must be due to your impressive size and punch in the nose.

You are, again, lying (=compromising your value as a human being) by saying I claimed to have been raped which would be something I'd never talk about even to my dog. I was HARRASSED which is one step away. I stayed there because I'm not likely to run home crying after ANYTHING and because I came all the way to Japan for that ONE person at that ONE party. Leaving would have made a few thousand euro in vain.

Back to the point of racism, if you werent or didnt have racist tendencies there would have been no reason to add this little anecdote here.

Oh I see. If I'd posted an anecdote about 2 Japanese people in Japan doing this, it'd been fine, but if the culprits happen to be Nigerian, I'm a racist for bringing their deeds to attention? I posted this anecdote because I felt like women should be warned of these 2 individuals. Where did I say "Niggers are rapists" or any other generalizing thing like that? That would be racist. But simply not sugarcoating what 2 Nigerians did, how is that racist? I would have posted this anecdote no matter what skin color the culprits had.

Sexual harrassment and rape are two totally different things

ZOMG! I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!! Let's still face it that sexual harrassment is often the prequel to rape.

I will let it go this time.

LOL is that a threat? Of and for what? Sorry but you accusing me of lying and of racism, just begs of me to suspect you trying to defend those clearly dangerous men.
And "what I wrote elsewhere"? What, for saying people shouldn't take nationalities for the fun of it? Or are you accusing me of lying again, eventhough I got a life and deem it scarcely interesting to lead discussions based on untruths?

 

[KirinMan]

Bullshit, I even tuned it down.
I never said that any rapüe really happened, I said it was likely to happen given how far they were already going. And I demand you take the "willing" back. What makes you think I was "willing"? The fact that I was too shocked to react and kill the dude immediately?
And don't lie by saying I said I was impressive. I was talking about merely my physique in comparison to Shorty. No matter how big I am though, has it ever occurred to you that some things might just be such a shock that it takes you a while to act?

Nope not going to take anything back here, you supposedly willing went in with the guys, you willing talked talked with them, you willing went to the dance floor to dance with them, even after all your concerns about date rape drugs, etc etc etc.

You were willing to go along with all of it, you wrote it not me.

And you wonder why someone, anyone would accept what you wrote at face value?

Once again that is if this even happened in the first place.

Maybe because I had some bad experiences concerning the outcome of "smalltalk" so I was on guard?

You on guard? But then you went on the dance floor and got groped? Then you...

At some point, a special guest got on stage and I snapped out of my paralysis that sets in everytime I'm extremely embarrassed. I grabbed Shorty and wacked him on the face. An anecdote not only I would remember

So when did you drop your guard? Something here doesn't quite add up to me. You were on your guard but got shocked? Knock, knock, anyone home?

You are, again, lying (=compromising your value as a human being) by saying I claimed to have been raped which would be something I'd never talk about even to my dog. I was HARRASSED which is one step away. I stayed there because I'm not likely to run home crying after ANYTHING and because I came all the way to Japan for that ONE person at that ONE party. Leaving would have made a few thousand euro in vain.

Harrassment and rape are not one step away from each other. I dont know if you realize the difference but they are not the same.

Oh I see. If I'd posted an anecdote about 2 Japanese people in Japan doing this, it'd been fine, but if the culprits happen to be Nigerian, I'm a racist for bringing their deeds to attention? I posted this anecdote because I felt like women should be warned of these 2 individuals. Where did I say "Niggers are rapists" or any other generalizing thing like that? That would be racist. But simply not sugarcoating what 2 Nigerians did, how is that racist? I would have posted this anecdote no matter what skin color the culprits had.

Never said that either, it was unecessary in the first place. Doesnt matter what nationality or race the people were in the event that something like this happened.

But you do have difficulties with racism and issues regarding race that is something you are going to have to face up to someday.

Why even bring up the "N" word here? That is racist in and of itself. Thanks for strengthing my point here about your difficulties with race.


Oh and to refresh your memory....

One more thing. He wasn't wacking off, he just had his weener dangling from his open pants and in the dark, you couldn't see it, that's why he did it.

The following was taken from YOUR OP...

The wacking scene drew enough attention I think.

So what are you saying? Everybody in the place saw him hanging out there and no one did anything about it nor said anything to the owners or bartenders or anyone? Now you say it was dark and you couldnt see it? Something doesnt add up, the more you talk about it the deeper the hole seems to get.

Only you know if you are telling the truth or not, and I have yet to call you a liar here, but you are awfully quick to call me one.

And "what I wrote elsewhere"? What, for saying people shouldn't take nationalities for the fun of it? Or are you accusing me of lying again, eventhough I got a life and deem it scarcely interesting to lead discussions based on untruths?

One of my friends told me about this...

Reminder for you there.....

 

[Ashikaga]

OK, Otenba. You had a scary episode with two Nigerian men while back and wanted to warn others by starting a thread.

Now, what are we supposed to discuss here, on this thread? "How dangerous Nigerian men in general are"? No, since you are only talking about the two specific individuals. "What to do if you saw two black men with good English and poor Japanese"? I hope not since there are many black people in Tokyo who would fit that description. Or maybe you are looking for other members who have had similar experiences to share their stories.... but you don't say that in your OP.

Whatever the case may be, was starting a thread with the title "Warning of 2Nigerian men in Tokyo" really a good idea? IF your intention was truly to warn others of THESE TWO PARTICULAR INDIVIDUALS, you should ask the moderators to lock the thread or stop the discussion/argument that has been going on here because it would NOT help someone who is reading this thread to take it seriously if the truthfulness of your story or your character itself is in question (deservedly or not). It doesn't matter who said what first. If you start a thread, especially when it is titled like this with the OP with vague descriptions of these two individuals (Nigerian, Good English/Poor Japanese, Have worked in Japan for 5~6 years, etc) and a very specific warning (if you encounter 2 black males in Tokyo, fluent English but poor Japanese and referring to themselves as "boku" and claiming to have stayed in Japan for work for about 5 or 6 years...), some people will respond in the manner in which they have.

Since it is not realistic for anyone to hunt down these two individuals who HAPPENED to be Nigerian, I think the best thing for you to do is simply recount your experience, and tell others to be careful.

We all know this kind of stuff happens too often. It just so happened that in your case, the guys were Nigerian. It is very important to raise awareness among women (and men) about the danger of being assaulted (sexually or not) in a club/party setting.

So, can we just say, "People! Be careful out there!!!" and move on? (That's all that matters here. Don't you agree?)

 

[Otenba]

How is willingly talking and dancing with someone willingly being harrassed?

So when did you drop your guard? Something here doesn't quite add up to me. You were on your guard but got shocked? Knock, knock, anyone home?

Maybe because I was starting, after hours of talk about movies and politics, to believe in some good in everyone?

Harrassment and rape are not one step away from each other. I dont know if you realize the difference but they are not the same.

As far as I know, being the same and being one step away from one-another is indeed different, or else there wouldn't be one step between those 2 things.

But you do have difficulties with racism and issues regarding race that is something you are going to have to face up to someday.

Why even bring up the "N" word here? That is racist in and of itself. Thanks for strengthing my point here about your difficulties with race.

Why do I have difficulties with racism simply because I think a nationality on a passport should fit its carrier?
I used the N-Word to give you an exemple of what racism would look like. I don't use it in any other way than hypothetically.

Wacking scene: me wacking on his face. Wack as in hit. Wacking off is new to me, I thought it was "wanking".

And your reminder... Yeah, so? That isn't racist, that's simply a fact. Dogs will never be cats, even if raised by cats in a cat basket!

 

[Otenba]

"How dangerous Nigerian men in general are"? No, since you are only talking about the two specific individuals. "What to do if you saw two black men with good English and poor Japanese"? I hope not since there are many black people in Tokyo who would fit that description

No matter what you think, all I wanted to do was warn people of these 2 individuals. Any comment about their nationality or language skill was meant as a description to recognize them because OH MY GOD SHOOT ME I didn't remember their names or take their photo and the details I named are all I remember. It's the best I could do.

Whatever the case may be, was starting a thread with the title "Warning of 2Nigerian men in Tokyo" really a good idea?

I thought it'd sum it up quite fittingly in case people who knew them came across this, so they'd immediately know what it's all about.

Since it is not realistic for anyone to hunt down these two individuals who HAPPENED to be Nigerian, I think the best thing for you to do is simply recount your experience, and tell others to be careful.

Well, that's what I tried to do. Hunting them down isn't my expectation as I know my description doesn't suffice for that. I meant it as a warning, nothing more, nothing less.

So, can we just say, "People! Be careful out there!!!" and move on? (That's all that matters here. Don't you agree?)

I would basically agree, but if we deleted any descriptive part about the culprits in this case, people may not be aware of what kind of people they are if they met them.
If you mean by "move on" to delete the discussion and lock the initial post, I do agree though.
Look, they had been very friendly and decent for hours. The nagging to buy me a drink sounded like over-enthousiastic gentlemen trying to please a lady if you were just a tad more naive. We've had innocent talk about movies, politics and other stuff, no touching, no hotel talk. I'm a distrusting person, so I was partially on guard, not sufficiently, I admit. Let's call it doubt. I kept hoping they wouldn't be evil for specfic reasons. But it'd be too easy to fall for their decent talk and let it escalate, and there's women out there who're even more naive and believing in good, than I am, and if they get wrapped in those men's nice talk, they're going to regret it.

 

[FrustratedDave]

Umm, telling the police comes to mind. I am with ASHIKAGA.

 

[Otenba]

Thought about it too, but as I said I couldn't leave there just yet until I'd done what I'd come all the way to Japan for, and after so many hours, I wouldn't have known what to tell the police anyways because the culprits were long gone and the police would have had to question every single black male which would have been unfair.

 

[KirinMan]

Oh I am with Ashikaga here as well, but after comments by Otenba on this thread my slowing working meter just went red........

Edited to add....if you want an answer to this go to the link that I included in my previous reply to you here and check out the thread and answer my question to you about looks and nationality. Your reply here is racist.

There is also no need ever to use the "N" word except by those that are either ignorant of it's meaning or just being ignorant.

Why do I have difficulties with racism simply because I think a nationality on a passport should fit its carrier?
I used the N-Word to give you an exemple of what racism would look like. I don't use it in any other way than hypothetically.

 

[Otenba]

If the truth displeases you, I suggest you lock yourself up in your room and never come out again. Build up your little fantasy world of conveniences and happy pink-colored stories and dismiss anything unpleasant as a lie, but do so without involving me. Thank you.

 

[KirinMan]

If the truth displeases you, I suggest you lock yourself up in your room and never come out again. Build up your little fantasy world of conveniences and happy pink-colored stories and dismiss anything unpleasant as a lie, but do so without involving me. Thank you.

Whose version of the truth?
If this ever even occured remember this much, there are two sides to every story.

I can see the next thread "Look out for mad impressive woman that punchs out Nigerian guys in Tokyo night clubs....."

You also have a convenient memory to boot. Again if it even ever occured.

 

[Otenba]

I find it offending that you doubt the truth of my word as though I had nothing better to do than write fiction in a discussion board.

And yes, there are two sides, and yes I let it go (too) far, but I'd like an explanation of how it'd be "mad" to punch someone who's rubbing their open fly to your hip in arousal aka sexually harrassing you.
How is my memory convenient? Are you suggesting I hit that scum for no reason?

 

[KirinMan]

I find it offending that you doubt the truth of my word as though I had nothing better to do than write fiction in a discussion board.
And yes, there are two sides, and yes I let it go (too) far, but I'd like an explanation of how it'd be "mad" to punch someone who's rubbing their open fly to your hip in arousal aka sexually harrassing you.
How is my memory convenient? Are you suggesting I hit that scum for no reason?

This is a web forum, there is plenty of fiction written daily, and the manner in which you wrote your accusations here brings about plenty of doubt.

I dont know again here if this happened or not but for the purpose of discussion only here I would say that you bear a large part of the responsibility for what happened because of your actions from the begining to the end.

If you truly were on your guard and truly were bothered by the actions of these guys you had plenty of options available to you, including your words here your, ......"impressive size" to defend yourself and or report these guys to the proper authorities or even removing yourself from the "small corner" that you were in, something kept you there and that is the "rest of the story".

Your actions and your words don't add up to the situation you have described.

 

[Davey]

If we have a warning for 2 nigerian men in Tokyo, we can have a warning about 3 Chinese in Osaka, a crazy Dutch guy in Kobe, and 5 Brazilians in Toba as well....

Don't see the need for this thread to be here. And I expected some better replies from some members... BS meter????

 

[Otenba]

For all I know you're the one bullshitting people here.

So you're saying it's all my fault for not immediately bashing that scum's face in? That's one way to look at it, but you don't know everyone and everyone reacts differently and I tend to wait until red alert before I act. That by no means makes me a liar, and if someone should think I'm weak-willed, taking advantage of that is even more wrong than it'd be if I were sufficiently confident to act immediately.
I was bothered, and I was on guard, but not expecting THAT, because just like you, I found it unlikely one of them would take his dick out right then and there. But just because I was bothered, doesn't mean I take any more action than making sure my pants remain shut, for reason I've named a 100 times. For the slow thinkers, here they are again:

1. I had come all the way and spent thousands of euros, just for that one night. Leaving was not an option, at no cost.
2. Police? Authorities? Sorry, but I hardly EVER involve them as long as I know who and where my enemy is so I can deal with it myself. And I dealt sufficiently given I've managed to keep my pants up and vent some anger on the dude. Plus, once it was over, it was OVER. I was rid of them. Period. Also, I did, after leaving the club and waiting for another guest outside, politely ask a security dude to call the police. He ignored me. I myself have no mobile phone, no phonecard, and didn't quite see myself leaving that spot given I was waiting for the reason to go to Japan in the first place, to come outside. That was more important to me than complaining about a threat that I had already rid myself of at that moment.
3. I'm big, I'm foreign, I overdid it on the scented oil and I was hanging with more foreigners, AND I hit a dude. I didn't want to draw any more attention to myself by playing damsel in distress - which has never been my style.