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One thing that I didn't really know what to do with is the fact that 次第に疲弊していくか is a question, or at least appears to be one. Maybe because the event only appears to be approaching (and hence is uncertain)?
かの gives a nuance "as if / as though", as in Chris-san's translation.


Actually, I guess, to be completely honest, I'm a -little- fuzzy on 一般... whether it means 'has universally and totally banned time travel' or means 'has banned time travel in ordinary cases (among unauthorized persons)'
That's the latter, i.e., your translation is correct.

and at the very end with 至った means 'the government ultimately has reached...', 'the narrative has ultimately reached....' or 'events have ultimately culminated in...'
I think the subject would be the government, since it's possible to interpret 非合法での渡航犯罪が急増ついに、...
 
Could someone explain how the first kanji in 対時間渡航犯罪捜査局 is used? I don't see how it is translated in Chris's translation: Criminal Time Travel Prevention and Investigation Bureau.
 
That would be a free translation, I think. The literal translation is "the Investigation Bureau Against(= 対) Criminal Time Travel".
 
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