Things to say to get that NHK0Nazi to leave...

[Emoni]

Sometimes some crazy NHK enslaved lady comes around and harasses the almost penniless students at my dorms. I don't even have a TV yet, since I can't afford one, but finally got a decent scholarship so I plan to get one. I consider Japanese TV shows crap, so I'll likely use it for games or something (which I find more entertaining for Japanese practice), but I assume that crazy old bat will come along again.

So I was thinking, what could I say to get her to go away, or as an excuse? Here is what I came up with, feel free to leave your own advice.

1) The TV is for a friend and I'm giving it to him tomorrow.

2) The only way I can pay you is in 1 yen coins, I don't have any of those, so do you mind taking crushed soda cans instead?

3) Hey baby, want me to smooth those wrinkles out for you? I just got an iron.

4) That's not a TV, it's a large electric picture frame.

5) TV? What? You mean the flat screen microwave?

6) That's not a TV, I have full body cancer. That's how i get my radiation treatment. Go away, you make me sad.

7) The NHK lady comes in and puts the lotion on it's skin, or it gets the hose...

8) I knew that they would send another one after I killed all the other workers that came here...

9) (Stare at her and wait for her to blink and yell) You lose the blinking game! I don't have to pay you now!

10) TV? Heck, no. I got this in Akihabara. It is a super-porn viewing device with an easy wipe-clean feature. Wanna see?

11) Remember, if you come in, you can never leave.

12) Oh **** the cat is on fire! (Slam door and make cat noises and start crying after 5 seconds of silence later)

 

[caster51]

Please participate in this demonstration.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nhk　解体+デモ&search_type=&aq=f

 

[Emoni]

Um, lol... ok. Thanks Caster.

 

[Glenski]

Just don't answer the door.

Or be honest (in your case) and say you don't watch TV programs but play games instead.

 

[epigene]

Just don't answer the door.

Or be honest (in your case) and say you don't watch TV programs but play games instead.

I think that's the best solution.

If I were you (i.e., a foreign national staying in Japan for just a couple of years at most), I'd insist I'm too poor to buy a TV set and don't have any--and keep the set covered under a cardboard box with a false bottom.

 

[Emoni]

Just don't answer the door.

Or be honest (in your case) and say you don't watch TV programs but play games instead.

While this thread was mostly humor related, I'm curious what the rules/laws are on this. I had heard they charge you simply for HAVING a tv connected or not.

It's hard to not answer the door too, cause they dress "like normal people"

 

[undrentide]

on Receiving Fee by NHK
NHKå—ä¿¡æ–™ã®çª"å£-英語

 

[Emoni]

Looks like they want to try to charge you just for having a TV by those bullshiet rules. I'm just going to pull the Anne Frank method if they knock.

 

[Chidoriashi]

The best thing to do is just tell them you don't have a TV, they will get out of your face right after you tell them that.

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

I must disagree with the premise of this thread. If you own a TV and watch TV at all, you are obligated to pay the NHK fee.

I didn't pay the fee for a while, either, and if you look hard enough, you'll probably find a post I made where I told the NHK person I don't watch TV much (the truth) and they stopped asking me to pay. However, I never refused to pay, and I did end up paying the fee after a while. You may disagree, but to me it is a small price to pay for quality programming with very few commercials.

 

[Elizabeth]

NHK management has been involved in enough ethics scandals for a lot of Japanese to have also stopped paying. Which is why the collection is not legally mandated. That means taxpayer funded and subject to government oversight etc (such as it is in Japan...).

In your case, just be honest that you don't have an antenna (or plan on getting one). That is easy enough to check and may not clear things completely but SHOULD be enough to exempt the user on those grounds alone. How can anyone be responsible not receiving a broadcast signal ?

 

[Emoni]

Mikawa I don't like TV even in the US, I'm mostly a gamer, or I watch documentary specials online.

Elizabeth. That is actually not a bad idea, but each of my dorm rooms is rigged with an antenna hook up so.... don't think it would work.