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Help Short translation with grammatical help-すみません。英語それかドイツ語話してください。

irowanioedo

Registered
14 Apr 2018
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Hi this is my first post and I´m at the very beginning of learning japanese (since 2 weeks).
I would like to ask if somebody could give me a great favor in dividing the following text into the single words and explain basic grammar with this text and it's tranlation (particles, suffixes, tenses,.).
I would like to know what grammar clues, conjuctions and words.

あの水平線が遠がっていく。青すぎたそらには明日すら描けなくて。

Romaji
ano suiheisen ga tooza katteiku. aosugita sora ni wa ashita sura egakenakute


how good is this translation?
The horizon is just fading away right before our eyes. Even the heaven can´t foresee
and describe the new beginning day.

Thanks in advance.
irowanioedo
 
I think you are adding too much to the translation. The original text is more economical, almost zen-like.

You can add to it (cautiously, judiciously) for clarification, or to make it sound more natural in the target language, but doing so always carries the risk of altering the sentence in a way the original shouldn't be altered.

"Right before our eyes" doesn't exist in the original, and it is an idiom that places the speaker or the thinker at the center of the action. Likewise, "the heavens" defines an agent that isn't present in the original.

In the original, the agent is left undefined - we can imagine it is us looking at the horizon, or drawing on the sky, and perhaps that is the author's intention, but by leaving out the agent, the sentence becomes both more neutral and more inclusive.

The horizon recedes (in to the distance).
Not even tomorrow can be drawn on the too-blue sky.

I'm not good at dissecting Japanese grammar, but I'll give it a shot

[あの水平線] subject identified by subject-marker .
遠ざっていく verb (is there a typo in your original? が should be , I think)

[青すぎたそらには]topic. 青+すぎる (too blue). Note the に , which is indicating the direction or destination of the following action
明日すら object. -すら suffix indicates "not even"
描けなくて - potential + negative form of 描く verb
 
Song lyrics are not appropriate as a learning material especially for beginner learners, even if how much you love Naruto. For instance, we need to write a whole chapter of grammar textbooks to explain the difference between 明日すら描けなくて and 明日すら描けない, and the reason why it ends with the -te form there. I strongly recommend reading a good textbook instead of asking it in a forum.
 
Thank you very much for your replies. It's not that I'm a huge anime fan who is thinking that I could learn it easily. I know that this text excerpt from the the Naruto op 8 is not good to begin learning with. But as a Japanese teacher (native-japanese) told me a few days ago that there can be days, when I just try to understand something that I encounter or that I am very interested in momentarily.
I knew this is much too heavy for a beginner like me but yesterday I thought it would be fun to try the first two sentences in my old days favorite anime opening. So I opened the intro and stopped when the japanese characters have been visible.
I had it written to my paper as an exercise. (Hiragana to Katakana) are no problem anymore to recognize.
But there were also these 8 Kanji which i wanted to search with my textbooks.
I need practice in finding kanji so this helped me because is got them all. Which was a success to me.

It may have been sounded like I would really like to know a perfect translation. Which was not the case.
I was wondering what german translations (which are translated into english) would be like.

Like I thought it´s nearly impossible to translate such texts in the "original meaning/mood".

What is wanted to know is what are the subjects, objects and it's grammatical combination.
And you helped me very good.

Thanks for both of your replies.

@Toritoribe Thanks. I have textbooks I am working with. This was just a 1-day-off besides my standard procedere in learning.

ありがとうございます
 
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