- 26 Feb 2003
- 2,284
- 81
- 64
Hmm... I think i'll weigh in on this one, although I shall refrain from commenting on the issue at hand as I have never been married, let alone to a Japanese spouse therefore I am not qualified to speak on such things. But... a few observations if I may re: the original poster in the thread you cited Kiwano.
1) The picture he paints is awfully one-sided... At no point does he even say anywhere in the thread how long he has been married, how he met his wife, whether or not she's fluent in English and or he in Japanese, etc... There are many variables to consider yet this individual does not nearly provide us with enough information.
2) This individual is clearly stuck on himself. After reading through his initial post and his "it's all about me" mentality, I decided to quote a few choice excerpts as well as comment on each one afterward:
"...I was willing to deal with a so-so sex life for the rest of my life."
---And it sounds like she was willing to deal with a so-so spouse the rest of her life so the two of you should compromise.
"I understand that being pregnant and delivering a baby is pretty rough work so I was a sport and did not complain about the no sex thing for 6 months."
--Wow... how considerate of you.
"After we had the baby for a while and things had settled down I was looking forward to resuming my mediocre sex life with my wife"
---Mediocre? Well, with that mentality what do you expect... Spice it up you idiot. It's only as mediocre as you make it...
"At this point I am lucky to get laid once every 2 or 3 months. That just isn't enough. Note to the ladies reading this: men are wired to produce sperm until they die. If a guy doesn't get laid on a regular basis he goes crazy, we can't help it, it's biological."
---Sorry guy but you don't speak on behalf of our entire gender. Unless he has a background in human anatomy and physiology I highly doubt said individual has the proper credentials to speak about how men are "wired." One should always speak for oneseself and if I can keep it in my pants then so should you...
"I know I am a competent lover. Have heard so from many prior girlfriends."
---Good for you, here's your cookie. What the hell this has to do with anything is beyond me. Unless... he's trying to imply that his "mediocre" sex life is due to no fault of his own... then that would just make him an egotistical @ss and demeaning to his wife.
"I can't get laid at home and society says I can't get laid outside the home but one thing is for farkin sure, I had better get laid sometime soon. what?"
---He's kidding right? Grow up. You got married, took an oath and vowed to remain true to your spouse. Stop trying to look for an "out" now just because you can't control your libido...
3) Why oh why do people feel the need to dredge up their personal lives on a public msg board is beyond me... If this guy has issues, then he should focus on those individuals who are directly affected by said issues (in this case his wife) instead of bringing it out in the open to be hashed out on a msg board. The overall tone of his original post was very condescending imho and borderline insulting to his wife. Why so many people are willing to put stock in what other people think (anonymous strangers no less) I have no idea... Take myself for instance. I have been with this site for almost a year and I consider many of you good people. But... when it comes to real life issues and personal decisions then the only person I listen to is myself, my friends, and my family. I could care less what anyone else thinks.
Anyways... that's all I wanted to say. I'm sure that the issue at hand is a very real one but the manner, tone, and overall delivery of this individual in posing his question needed to be commented on. I think his comments reveal a great deal about his shallow character in this regard and that the "source" should always be a consideration. I for one would very much like to hear what his wife has to say about the subject.
1) The picture he paints is awfully one-sided... At no point does he even say anywhere in the thread how long he has been married, how he met his wife, whether or not she's fluent in English and or he in Japanese, etc... There are many variables to consider yet this individual does not nearly provide us with enough information.
2) This individual is clearly stuck on himself. After reading through his initial post and his "it's all about me" mentality, I decided to quote a few choice excerpts as well as comment on each one afterward:
"...I was willing to deal with a so-so sex life for the rest of my life."
---And it sounds like she was willing to deal with a so-so spouse the rest of her life so the two of you should compromise.
"I understand that being pregnant and delivering a baby is pretty rough work so I was a sport and did not complain about the no sex thing for 6 months."
--Wow... how considerate of you.
"After we had the baby for a while and things had settled down I was looking forward to resuming my mediocre sex life with my wife"
---Mediocre? Well, with that mentality what do you expect... Spice it up you idiot. It's only as mediocre as you make it...
"At this point I am lucky to get laid once every 2 or 3 months. That just isn't enough. Note to the ladies reading this: men are wired to produce sperm until they die. If a guy doesn't get laid on a regular basis he goes crazy, we can't help it, it's biological."
---Sorry guy but you don't speak on behalf of our entire gender. Unless he has a background in human anatomy and physiology I highly doubt said individual has the proper credentials to speak about how men are "wired." One should always speak for oneseself and if I can keep it in my pants then so should you...
"I know I am a competent lover. Have heard so from many prior girlfriends."
---Good for you, here's your cookie. What the hell this has to do with anything is beyond me. Unless... he's trying to imply that his "mediocre" sex life is due to no fault of his own... then that would just make him an egotistical @ss and demeaning to his wife.
"I can't get laid at home and society says I can't get laid outside the home but one thing is for farkin sure, I had better get laid sometime soon. what?"
---He's kidding right? Grow up. You got married, took an oath and vowed to remain true to your spouse. Stop trying to look for an "out" now just because you can't control your libido...
3) Why oh why do people feel the need to dredge up their personal lives on a public msg board is beyond me... If this guy has issues, then he should focus on those individuals who are directly affected by said issues (in this case his wife) instead of bringing it out in the open to be hashed out on a msg board. The overall tone of his original post was very condescending imho and borderline insulting to his wife. Why so many people are willing to put stock in what other people think (anonymous strangers no less) I have no idea... Take myself for instance. I have been with this site for almost a year and I consider many of you good people. But... when it comes to real life issues and personal decisions then the only person I listen to is myself, my friends, and my family. I could care less what anyone else thinks.
Anyways... that's all I wanted to say. I'm sure that the issue at hand is a very real one but the manner, tone, and overall delivery of this individual in posing his question needed to be commented on. I think his comments reveal a great deal about his shallow character in this regard and that the "source" should always be a consideration. I for one would very much like to hear what his wife has to say about the subject.