Overseas wedding advice

[sinead]

So the fiance and I love Japan (We're from Australia) and we wanted to have a small simple wedding ceremony in Japan. The family have insisted they come along. Which is fine with us. The problem is, we dont want a Shinto wedding and we arent Christian- so these fake Christian church/chapel weddings don't really interest us. We were thinking a nice japanese garden or park. so firstly, does anyone know of such a venue that would allow us to walk around in Western wedding attire and not kick us out? And secondly, we'd want a celebrant (someone to say a few words, say the traditional western 'do you .... take.... to be your lawfully wedded blah blah '
Is it possible? Any suggestions? Thanks!

 

[Glenski]

The first thing I would do is find out from your Australian authorities what paperwork is needed to become legally married here.

As for the other stuff, where did you have in mind? Any sort of celebration is not a legally binding marriage process. It's just a ceremony. You seem to know about the fake wedding ceremonies, so I'm a little confused about asking for a "celebrant" to officiate at what appears to be the same thing.

 

[Mike Cash]

Register your marriage at home with the appropriate civil authorities and have whatever sort of ceremony you like here; you needn't bother registering your marriage here.

 

[Mark of Zorro]

This is a pretty tall order I think. I have heard of people renting out mountain inns for simple weddings (some may have significant gardens), but I never heard of anyone getting a Japanese garden to themselves or even a chunk of a park. And I have been here nearly 20 years.

I could imagine pulling this off with great effort if you were here, running around and talking with owners and operators directly. But to set this up from Australia?

Look, I don't want to be a party pooper, but if you like Japan so much, why not do things the Japanese way? Its not like they are Christian either, so consider the Christian-esque ceremony to be meaningless. But the Shinto wedding is certainly more uniquely Japanese, and frankly, most Japanese are not really Shinto either.

My second wedding in Japan was at one of these places that I like to call a "wedding factory". We wanted the ceremony outside and we arranged it, the first time ever that they had one outside. It was murder getting it arranged! Trying to get Japanese to rethink things is like pulling teeth frankly, and despite all the great number of peripheral services we removed from their usual package, every new little thing confused the hell out them. How to arrange the chairs, how to position the organ, what direction everything should face....I began to wonder if they were not robots and this was not part of their programming!

Now, there are some nice places to do this, such as the many castle parks around Japan. I just cannot imagine getting permission. As far as Japanese gardens go, its really not my field. But my instincts say Kyoto ...specifically Myoshinji...which is actually a collection of smaller temples, each with their own style and character and each with their own walls separating them from the others. Now, I could imagine finding one willing to do this....I just cannot imagine doing it from Australia.

Another consideration would be going to Japan town in San Francisco. They have a very large Japanese garden there, and it being America, I could imagine there existing some flexibility.

Whatever you choose though, good luck!

 

[sinead]

Thanks for the advice so far!
I understand the process of officially getting married in Japan ie. papers to the city hall. We are happy to get the papers done in Australia. I just want a ceremony in Japan. It seems this may not work. I did consider hiring a small inn or something with a garden but alas I cannot find one with a garden with an english website!

 

[epigene]

Japanese garden wedding is possible, but a lot of the "beautiful" parks require special permits or wedding agents for hire. In Tokyo, Chinzanso and Meguro Gajoen have nice Japanese gardens and are popular wedding venues. But I don't think they offer the "small" wedding you have in mind.

Wedding in famous parks are either available as exclusive packages (such as Sankeien in Yokohama and Itsukushima Shrine (UNESCO World Heritage Site) in Hiroshima) or restricted to wedding photo sessions (such as Rikugien ini Tokyo).

Links for you just in case:
目黒雅叙園
イメージブック｜ホテルのご案内｜ホテル椿山荘東京
Itsukushima Shrine weddings | HOTEL MIYARIKYU
Rikugien Garden: Tokyo's 88 Minature Gardens - Japan Talk
六義園（東京）のフォトプラン | ウェディングフォト（結婚写真）なら【ワタベウェディング】

I also found this: A Japanese inn (formerly "hatago" or roadside inn) offering small wedding plans in Gunma Prefecture. This might be more to your taste.
WEDDING | Kayabuki no Sato Yakushi Onsen Hatago

You have mentioned wearing Western attire, but if you are having a wedding ceremony in Japan, I suggest you go for the Japanese wedding attire. As others have mentioned, the Japanese aren't fastidious about religion and will have no problem with the both of you going through a Shinto-style wedding. Japanese people welcome the idea of foreigners doing it as an expression of their love for Japan. In fact, I've seen many foreigners (Westerners) getting married at Itsukushima Shrine (Hiroshima) and the shrine visitors have applauded as they made their way from one chamber to another.

In any case, you will need to email or call the place first for reservation and arrangement details.

 

[Mike Cash]

Make it the place in Gunma on a Sunday and I'll show up and make the crowd a little bigger. Provided I can still fit in my monkey suit, that is. I wear a suit so seldom I'm not even sure where it is.

 

[sinead]

Epigene, thanks so much for all that!
You mention that some parks require permits or wedding agents in order to use them as ceremony sites. Are wedding agents the same as wedding planners? Would you think my chances of having a ceremony in a park such as Rikugien Garden would be better if i managed to find a Japanese wedding agent?
thanks!

 

[epigene]

What I wrote may have confused you, but NOT ALL parks allow wedding ceremonies -- with or without wedding agents.
Rikugien, for instance, is a public garden (and Important Cultural Property) managed by the government of Tokyo, and wedding is NOT allowed there. I've written in my earlier post that only "wedding photo sessions" are allowed. What happens if you want wedding photos in Rikugien is you hire a local photo studio (several of them offering this service), which does the paperwork to allow you and your bride to enter the garden in wedding dress and stay there for a while. (An hour or two? I don't know.)
The studio will offer your kimono/hakama, etc. for the both of you on rental and fix you up for the shoot. When the photo session is over, you must leave the garden.

And, yes, when I wrote wedding agents, they are also wedding planners.

If you want a real "Japanese garden" wedding, the only choice I found is Sankeien in Yokohama.
Yokohama Travel: Sankeien Garden
挙式プラン＆料金｜三渓園で結婚式 - 少人数、季節限定など｜神奈川・横浜の結婚式場
Sankeien is also an important cultural property, and the wedding cost is quite steep (my personal opinion), if you look at the figures in the 2nd link. The one at the top is for wedding with 50 guests, the second for 15 guests, and the bottom for a Shinto-style ceremony only.
Also, only one wedding is allowed per day, and reservation must be made 6 months in advance.
This package includes rental attire, styling, makeup and other things needed for the ceremony. Japanese-style banquet is added for the top 2 packages.

Hope this helps!

Correction: Sorry, there was a typo, a big mistake. Weddings are NOT allowed at Rikugien-- not "now." In Tokyo, none of the parks and gardens allow private functions of any kind, including weddings.

 

[sinead]

Epigene,
Thank you this has helped a lot!

 

[Glenski]

Be prepared to pay a bundle!!!

 

[Mark of Zorro]

Thanks for the advice so far!
I understand the process of officially getting married in Japan ie. papers to the city hall. We are happy to get the papers done in Australia. I just want a ceremony in Japan. It seems this may not work. I did consider hiring a small inn or something with a garden but alas I cannot find one with a garden with an english website!

I think your best bet would be to find someone in Japan who can scout around for you to find a place, or perhaps get someone who can read Japanese to search the net from Australia. I cannot imagine it would be overly hard to find someone and pay them to search with you for a few hours at a library or something.

Coming from Australia I would think that someplace near an international airport would be best. That said, I think the Nagoya area would be better than Tokyo as less crowded and sprawling.

 

[Glenski]

If you want an outfit to supply you with wedding clothes and a fake minister as well as arrange a location, like I wrote earlier, you will have to pay a lot of money. You will also need to reserve a long time in advance, get fittings, look at their books for locations and packages, etc. I don't know if any outfit does this with English. Most are associated with hotels.


When do you hope to do this? June is a horrific month, probably the busiest, just so you know.

I honestly don't understand the reason you feel you need to have the ceremony in Japan, if all you really want is the ambiance of a Japanese park with bonsai trees and such. Did you know that many Japanese avoid the costs and hassles by going to Hawaii instead? Yes, it can be cheaper that way!

Quick search results (there weren't many that were even close):
Bayside Urban Resort Hotel in Osaka, Japan :: Hyatt Regency Osaka
Marriott-certified wedding planner
Wedding Planning Tokyo | Wedding Planning at The Peninsula Tokyo
Wedding Planning in Japan | Edwards Magazine

 

[Glenski]

deleted duplicate post

 

[Mark of Zorro]

When do you hope to do this? June is a horrific month, probably the busiest, just so you know.

I don't know about it being the busiest, but it sure is the rainiest and the typhooniest!

 

[Mars Man]

So the fiance and I love Japan (We're from Australia) and we wanted to have a small simple wedding ceremony in Japan. The family have insisted they come along. Which is fine with us. The problem is, we dont want a Shinto wedding and we arent Christian- so these fake Christian church/chapel weddings don't really interest us. We were thinking a nice japanese garden or park. so firstly, does anyone know of such a venue that would allow us to walk around in Western wedding attire and not kick us out? And secondly, we'd want a celebrant (someone to say a few words, say the traditional western 'do you .... take.... to be your lawfully wedded blah blah '
Is it possible? Any suggestions? Thanks!

O.K., I got it. When do you want to show up here, then? And, how many are there, all together, in your entire party, then. If you don't mind booking a hotel for the pre-night, and nights following the wedding day-night (nope, first night couple-only partying is not allowed here, you have to party that night (or until you drop, whichever comes first) with everyone... including me and Mike Cash... and maybe one or two more folks from these parts. (I mean, from JREF.)

Oh, and yes, it will cost a little bit, I have to admit, but nowhere near an arm and a leg. In fact, my guess for the entire wedding day/night (pre-wedding day/evening and day/evenings after that are up to you all) would be anywhere from 10,000 yen at the lower estimate, and 20,000 at the higher estimate. Additionally, any ceremony/reception attendees would surely pitch in just a little, too... and of course, I would too--especially the encouragement of love and understanding, care and giving for each other, and the need to enjoy parting and playing darts too... hee, hee, hee...


OK, so I'm 1/4th joking, but the rest of the offer is real. Now, I do know that some can vouch for my truthfulness, as well as the... well, perhaps a bit crude, yeah, but nevertheless, a very natural, old (this place is from the Edo era , you know), and mellow place for a "real ! wedding. Everything in your essential desires is pretty much met. What do you say?!

 

[Mars Man]

Well, for food, I only have one simple sample. At the estimated cost range, it would be more greatly up-graded. (and of course, additional increments would only do that much more, too, right?) a simple sample of the eats

And of course, we do offer entertainment. That automatically comes with the party (but can be declined, with no problem, too). Now, as with every wedding place that advertises, there is always going to be a little bit of fluff (added content or scenario setting which is not quite that really so.) The first entertainment sample link is, well, kind of fluff (but maybe not impossible, I do know some dancers who may love to dance for a small, additional fee [in this case]) The second sample, though not so thrilling, nor "elvisy," is free (if not declined) [but again, I do know other musicians who would perform just to join in the party. Entertainment sample number one. Entertainment sample number two (( OR, if you want it more romantic, this setting might be good)) .

We do have, well, kind of like to think of it as, a small "zoo?," if you will. At least we do have a tiger. Here is a sample of our tiger. (You can feed him if you want, and he won't bite at your hand, but he may climb up on you, though. Anyway, quite harmless a tiger, he is.

Now, let's see... OH... yeah, we have some kind of samples of previous couples who kind of, well, 'got tied' here, so to speak. You can see the charm, the romance, the precious sharing of time well spent, with each other, AND with others, in this far away, out in the middle of nowhere, old Japanese setting from the Edo days... mud walls, thatched roofs, and all the nature that comes with the heart of natural spots. Here are some couple photos. Well, OK, Ok... so it seems our photo person failed to get the bride in there more, we can clearly see, with that last one, that behind every great man, is a great woman. So, it should be good.

Maybe I can twist Mike Cash's arm, and see if he can squeeze in a 'garden' shot, or two, just to kind of fill out the scenario in your minds. (Both of you have to make the decision, after all...) Well, of course, I am (again) 1/4th joking. However, if you two were to seriously consider the other 3/4ths, then that seemingly somewhere 1/4th would surely quite totally disappear.