Office Dares

jovial_jon

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For all you fellow office-monkeys out there - see how many points you can get! I'm doing pretty badly at the moment due to the lack of humour that my workmates posess making me hesitant to go ahead with some of them.


ONE-POINT DARES
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed

2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player'
must be in the toilet at the time).

3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.

6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS DARES

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.

2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".

5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my
witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
trade?"

11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do
you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk
about it".

13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.

15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your
pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash
each biscuit with your fist.

18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.

19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Have fun! 👍
 
That reminds me of one I that I have that's kind of similar (hope you like it too!):

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Trash Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors."

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't attend their party because you aren't in the mood

16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name.

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

20. Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile...It's Called Therapy...

:D
 
:D :D Those are good. I like the one-pointer dares since they're just slightly weird.

Keiichi

:D
 
@ jovial_jon

I laughed after reading every single one of them. I wish I could watch you at the office.
 
I'm in competition with a workmate to see who can do the most! We're getting some strange looks from people, but it's so funny! :D I'm looking forward to trying some of Satori's suggestions, especially the 'do you want fries with that?' one!
 
jovial_jon said:
I'm in competition with a workmate to see who can do the most! We're getting some strange looks from people, but it's so funny! :D I'm looking forward to trying some of Satori's suggestions, especially the 'do you want fries with that?' one!

Those are good, aren't they?! :D
 
I think I'll do number 17 tomorrow but really exaggerate it..like I've won the lottery or something. :D I'll have to pass that list on to my workmate - he'll like those. 👍
 
jovial_jon said:
I think I'll do number 17 tomorrow but really exaggerate it..like I've won the lottery or something. :D I'll have to pass that list on to my workmate - he'll like those. 👍

Yes, and you'll have to tell us what your wrestling names are (#16)!! :D
 
Is that just me of are the five point ones easier than the others ? I wouldn't mind do no 9 to 15 and 19. But "5 points no 1" shows how unusual it is to sing the national anthem in Europe, compared to the US.
 
The difficulty levels are a bit mixed up, yeah, but I guess it'd vary from office to office. Some of the 5 point ones are pretty risky depending on who you do them to.

To sing the national anthem in a meeting here would probably get you a reputation as a bit of freak - you'd definitely get some funny looks!
 
Satori's ones seem much easier to me. I suppose that Jovial Jon's are things that English people would barely dare trying. Satori's are things that are already common occurence in England, but that American people barely dare trying. :D I think I have done or have seen done most of those (but not at work) in Satori's list - but I wouldn't try the first one in the states for fear of being shot down by someone confusing the hairdryer with a gun !
 
I would do all the ones on Jon's list without even thinking! Satori's was a little more difficult. They are all hilarious! :D
 
Some of Satori's would be seen as normal behaviour in England I think. :D
 
jovial_jon said:
I think I'll do number 17 tomorrow but really exaggerate it..like I've won the lottery or something. :D I'll have to pass that list on to my workmate - he'll like those. 👍

I've often done it with friends (or when buying a ticket or a drink at a vending amchine and getting plenty of change 👍 ), but how can you do that at work ? Do you coworkers usually follow you the ATM, or do you work in a bank ?
 
Satori's are unrelated to work so you I guess you could do that anywhere. I do need to get some money out on the way to work so I can do that with a workmate as I travel to work with him. I'll certainly be asking my boss if he wants fries with that when he asks me to do something. :D
 
kirei_na_me said:
I would do all the ones on Jon's list without even thinking! Satori's was a little more difficult. They are all hilarious! :D

Isn't that strange that those on Satori's list are normal in England and those on Jon's list noraml in the US ? :eek: How comes social behaviours or taboos are so different (opposite in intensity) ? :?
 
I often wonder that...I think England is just a bit more eccentric with its humour. It is interesting. I think we should do a test - get one American and one Brit and make them do all the dares - compare reactions! :D
 
Maciamo said:
Satori's list - but I wouldn't try the first one in the states for fear of being shot down by someone confusing the hairdryer with a gun !

Whoaa!!! I didn't even think about that! :eek2: Good point!!! Definitely not doing that one!! :p
 
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut up!"

:D :D :D

That had me rolling on the floor!
(I'm going to post that in a thread.)
 
Satori said:
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

Interestingly, my brother and a friend of his went to a Popeye's drive through once, and the woman working the window asked them, "is that for here or to go?" I thought that was hysterical. :D
 
Haha! That hairdryer one looks hilarious; I'll try that one. Isn't a hairdryer a little too big to be confused with a gun?
 
Actually, the hairdryer one reminds me of something else. There was this kind of "special" guy in my friend's hometown who apparently would stand on the main street in a ditch with a flashlight. When asked what he was doing, he responded, "I'm shooting radar." It's funny, but kind of sad, too. :sick:
 
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