Hank Hill
後輩
- 17 May 2013
- 5
- 0
I need some help with ironing out the errors in some sentences. I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place for this kind of request. I'm new, so I'm not too keen on the rules yet.
I'm taking a difficult test in two weeks, and part of the exam tests our writing ability. Fortunately, our sensei has given us a very generous study guide, which includes the questions we will be asked in the writing section.
Each question demands an answer about 5-6 sentences long, and we are supposed to answer exactly 5 out of 7 questions. Points for kanji take up the lion's share of the score, but word choice and grammar still count.
I've already drafted the sentences for the questions I plan to answer. My hope is that one of you will be kind enough to look over the sentences and correct any major errors in word choice or grammar. The sentences don't have to be absolutely perfect, but they should at least make some sense.
I've already done most of the heavy lifting here: I'm providing the questions, my answers, and a rough English translation of the answers. I've done my best to iron out all the errors that I could find.
All I ask is that one of you corrects or at least points out any glaring weaknesses in my writing, particularly word choice and grammar.
I'm only going to post two of my paragraphs out of courtesy and politeness to the forum. If I am well received by the other members and the mods don't roast me alive, I will post the others in hopes that they will be examined as well.
以上ようろしくお願いいたします。
=====================================
"You wake up from a coma 50 years from now. Please describe the status of the world at that time"
朝鮮民主主義人民共和国は、革命の結果として、溶解しました。医学の進歩なので、人間が長い人生を生きることができます。太陽光発電や風力発電はもっと普及しています。ほとんどすべての人間は、インターネットへのアクセスを有せます. 過去に比べて、国際結婚が一般的です。
North Korea has dissolved as the result of a revolution. Advances in medicine allow humans to live longer lives. Solar power and wind power are more prevalent [compared to the past]. Almost every human has access to the internet. Relative to the past, international marriage is common.
============================================================
"Please give a detailed description of your room."
私の寝室はかなり小さいです。しかし、それを丹念に装飾されています。部屋のテーマは、黒と色とりどりのライトと赤です。大きな赤いカーペットといくつかの絵画もあります。このようなテーマは、居心地の良い雰囲気になります。私の部屋は私が快適で暖かく感じることができます。
My bedroom is quite small. However, It is elaborately decorated. The room's theme is black and red with multicolored lights. There is also a large red carpet and several paintings. Such a theme makes for a cozy ambiance. My room makes me feel comfortable and warm.
===========================================================
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
I'm taking a difficult test in two weeks, and part of the exam tests our writing ability. Fortunately, our sensei has given us a very generous study guide, which includes the questions we will be asked in the writing section.
Each question demands an answer about 5-6 sentences long, and we are supposed to answer exactly 5 out of 7 questions. Points for kanji take up the lion's share of the score, but word choice and grammar still count.
I've already drafted the sentences for the questions I plan to answer. My hope is that one of you will be kind enough to look over the sentences and correct any major errors in word choice or grammar. The sentences don't have to be absolutely perfect, but they should at least make some sense.
I've already done most of the heavy lifting here: I'm providing the questions, my answers, and a rough English translation of the answers. I've done my best to iron out all the errors that I could find.
All I ask is that one of you corrects or at least points out any glaring weaknesses in my writing, particularly word choice and grammar.
I'm only going to post two of my paragraphs out of courtesy and politeness to the forum. If I am well received by the other members and the mods don't roast me alive, I will post the others in hopes that they will be examined as well.
以上ようろしくお願いいたします。
=====================================
"You wake up from a coma 50 years from now. Please describe the status of the world at that time"
朝鮮民主主義人民共和国は、革命の結果として、溶解しました。医学の進歩なので、人間が長い人生を生きることができます。太陽光発電や風力発電はもっと普及しています。ほとんどすべての人間は、インターネットへのアクセスを有せます. 過去に比べて、国際結婚が一般的です。
North Korea has dissolved as the result of a revolution. Advances in medicine allow humans to live longer lives. Solar power and wind power are more prevalent [compared to the past]. Almost every human has access to the internet. Relative to the past, international marriage is common.
============================================================
"Please give a detailed description of your room."
私の寝室はかなり小さいです。しかし、それを丹念に装飾されています。部屋のテーマは、黒と色とりどりのライトと赤です。大きな赤いカーペットといくつかの絵画もあります。このようなテーマは、居心地の良い雰囲気になります。私の部屋は私が快適で暖かく感じることができます。
My bedroom is quite small. However, It is elaborately decorated. The room's theme is black and red with multicolored lights. There is also a large red carpet and several paintings. Such a theme makes for a cozy ambiance. My room makes me feel comfortable and warm.
===========================================================
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.
)
