Need some advice for courting a Japanese exchange student

I'm sorry to hear your girl is leaving, my friend. I hope it works out for you in the end.

I talked to her briefly after class, mostly about class stuff. She seemed to be dwelling more on the class than anything else. Which I can understand because the language and culture gap is making it really, really hard for her in this class, I think.

I think I'll ask her if she wants to check out the bookstore with me tomorrow. I'm not sure what to do, however, if she makes some kind of time excuse like "I don't have time now" or "I can't today" or something. I know that "maybe later" really means: NO so I'm prepared for that.

****, I should just see if I can get some serum that will turn me gay. I don't understand women, regardless of origin. But they're so.... nifty.

Oh well. I think I'm probably going to get shot down but the practice of making myself do something uncomfortable (talking to a girl I like is very hard for me) but healthy will probably be good for me. Maybe I'll try and see it as a sort of therapy.
 
You might be over thinking it. You'll know and pick up on more than you think, even if everyone is different on the signs they give.
 
Golgo_13 said:
Your size might be intimidating her also.
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Ahhh yes Mr. Golgo may be correct then again he may not. I am 6' 6" and am around 300lbs and I have intimidated girls or guys for that matter in the past without even speaking to them. But i have also had more than my fair share of girlfriends in the past. It all depends on how you present yourself I am a 6'6" 300 lbs teddybear instead of a 6'6" 300 lbs grizzley. It is all about prestation. If you come trudging up to her and just ask hey you wanna go out she is more likely to say no than if you would have done it in a more peaceful presentation. Then again this is just my experience and opinion so just take it as that, Comming from one big guy to another.
 
i have also intimidated people in the past without muscle..

..

they seem to think they might catch whatever it is i must have if they get too close XD :p
 
I heard that these days Asian girls tend to go for the tall and lanky types. I also think (like others have stated before) that going for a kiss after one coffee meeting is way too fast (most definitely not with Asian girls).

I guess my only advice to you is that bantering and making yourself "hard to get" works like a charm.
 
I asked her today if she wanted to do something after class and she didn't want to. She said she was too tired or something. It sounded like a very Japanese way of saying no.

Still, at least it was good practice. My pride got a little wounded but I need the experience in dealing with chicks as it is.

Perhaps from now on I should stick with American girls. I just think it would be so interesting and educational to date a foreigner though.....

Oh well, back to work.
 
Don't get your hopes down. Maybe that coffee session did freak her out. Just don't do that on the next person and take it slowly. :-)
 
Wait a couple days and ask her one more time. Maybe she was tired. You'll know if she says the same thing twice.
 
I wonder a little about your language I mean you call them "chicks" dont do that women deserve our utmost respect call them women not chicks unless instructed to do otherwise it is little mannerisims like this that have landed me plenty of girlfriends also speak with a soft tone and this works with everyone when i was at an institution and these peole would start having spats of anger and you talked to them in a nice, soft, calm tone they would calm down after awhile no matter how freaked out they were. That is one of the things alot of my ex-girlfriends say they remember most about me (my kind poetic words and the way i spoke them) and i only have 1 girlfriend i dont talk to but like i said before it is all about presentation.
 
dont bet on girls of the same nationality all the time! heres some statistics from the STA travel magazine (yes i know key word being travel) but i think this is relatively relevent:

Of the 250 travellers (predominantly aged 18窶?9) recently surveyed A massive 82% said getting lucky was easier overseas !

so do you feel like travelling?
 
Meshane said:
Hats off to you for asking if you could kiss her. That was a good idea =)
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Asking if you could hold her hand would be closer to a first step for a japanese girl 🙂
 
TimF said:
I wonder a little about your language I mean you call them "chicks" dont do that women deserve our utmost respect call them women not chicks unless instructed to do otherwise it is little mannerisims like this that have landed me plenty of girlfriends also speak with a soft tone and this works with everyone when i was at an institution and these peole would start having spats of anger and you talked to them in a nice, soft, calm tone they would calm down after awhile no matter how freaked out they were. That is one of the things alot of my ex-girlfriends say they remember most about me (my kind poetic words and the way i spoke them) and i only have 1 girlfriend i dont talk to but like i said before it is all about presentation.
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well, then that's your "thing".. mine is i joke about alot of tasteless stuff ...and stuff... if i had to be all politically correct around my girlfriend i wouldn't be able to stand her after a while...
 
Ahh yes joking will get you far but it has to be about the right things and as for me being politicaly correct :D that is not true i am just respectful. :-)
 
Okay, I think we've dug enough about the kissing thing. We don't have to keep telling him... 😌
 
My first reaction is... what kind of instincts tell you to try to kiss a girl you just met? Has that worked with American girls?

On the other hand, I have seen guys act like what I consider to be complete assholes and yet score with Japanese "chicks" so it's certainly possible something could come of this.

And I have to give you props for trying. I could barely work up the nerve to ask a girl out in my dating days.

Japanese are pretty good at hiding their true feelings so my main advice to you is to not take the fact that she doesn't blow you off to mean that she is receptive to you. My suggestion: try asking her out a few more times -- to the bookstore, cafe or whatever. If she refuses every time, then take the hint and let her go (but first ask her if she has any friends she can introduce you to :)
 
narblark said:
That's certainly possible. I've given it some thought. On the other hand it could be one of the most enriching (if short) experiences of both our lives. There's nothing wrong with some short term romance as long as everyone knows what's up.

I think things will fizzle out before they get started anyway. So be it.
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leave her alone, she will get bad impression about you, americans and caucasians alltogether.
what I mean dont try to force your way in. respect her, she is a kind, sweet j-girl, not used to your way of behaving and probably not wanting any of it but not courageous enough to say it and ask you to "leave me alone". so I'm kind of saying it for her.

kirei_na_me said:
Yeah, I don't think you'd have any problems finding other 'fish in the sea'. You seem like a real gentleman. I'm sure a lot of girls would appreciate someone like you. ;-)
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yes, very sensible position. kirei na me is dead right !
narblark, take your fishing gear out of japan's territorial waters and stay close to the gulf of mexico.
this girl is frightened. make your excuses to her, explain to her that you were wrong, that you did not understand her culture and that you are sorry to have behaved like you did. and you can be a real champion if, just before you leave, you offer her a white rose, since she loves pretty flowers. just one. a rose. white.
then walk away.
if she runs after you (which she will not do, i'm sure) then you can punch me in the nose, i won't move nor fight back.

narblark said:
I'm sorry to hear your girl is leaving, my friend. I hope it works out for you in the end.

I talked to her briefly after class, mostly about class stuff. She seemed to be dwelling more on the class than anything else. Which I can understand because the language and culture gap is making it really, really hard for her in this class, I think.

I think I'll ask her if she wants to check out the bookstore with me tomorrow. I'm not sure what to do, however, if she makes some kind of time excuse like "I don't have time now" or "I can't today" or something. I know that "maybe later" really means: NO so I'm prepared for that.

****, I should just see if I can get some serum that will turn me gay. I don't understand women, regardless of origin. But they're so.... nifty.

Oh well. I think I'm probably going to get shot down but the practice of making myself do something uncomfortable (talking to a girl I like is very hard for me) but healthy will probably be good for me. Maybe I'll try and see it as a sort of therapy.
Click to expand...
some people go to jail for harassment....
 
what's there to win by giving up?

you can only get shot down... big deal?.. maybe she's just shy...
 
Mutual respect, true love for each other and sincerity will overcome all obstacles......
 

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