Mansoor
Sempai
- 4 Mar 2016
- 834
- 615
I do everything to improve my English. One of my works is story writing. Fiction writing is much complicated than daily conversations and writing articles because the writer not only should make an interesting idea, but he has to use many words, names, and states of the characters that are not used in ordinary writing. I occasionally write a part of a story and send it to a writing forum to benefit the critique of other writers. This is one of the stories.
I often write humor. That is the start of a humor story I wrote as an exercise (to work on dialogues). It is in summary, and I didn't extend its scenes and description of characters.
Everyone was quiet and motionless and just listening. On the semi-dark night when the moon was not full, they looked at the same point in silence. Shiva was behind a wooden wall of a house, but the men were further and each one hidden somewhere with a spare, but the village chief, Mahindra had a flintlock gun and was in front of his house door. Some of those men fastened a kitchen knife on a long stick and believed it was better than a wooden stick with a sharp tip.
It was now 1:00 PM, and they waited for a long time. The finger of the chief was on the trigger of the old gun while he napped. At that time, something grunted in the darkness. One of the men left his place hastily, went to the chief, and shouted, 'the tiger is here!'
Mahindra, who was asleep, pressed his finger on the gun trigger, frightened, and the gun fired! The earsplitting sound of the old gun shooting echoed in the area with a dazzling light of flaring gunpowder that existed from the barrel. Mahindra shouted angrily at that man from behind the thick layer of smoke, 'Stupid Atma! You did frighten me! Where is that tiger, you said?'
That man said, 'Sir, all the men heard that sound.'
After the gunfire, the village men left their place and gathered in front of the chief's house. Mahindra said to the men with a loud sound, 'Atma claims he has heard the sound of the tiger. Does he say right?'
One of the men said, 'Yes, sir. He is right. I heard the sound too.' Some of the other men confirmed his word.
Mahindra thought for a while and said, 'Something is wrong. When tigers approach their prey, they usually don't make a sound?!'
One of the men named Raman came in front of the men and said to Mahindra, embarrassed, 'You are right, sir. It was not a tiger; it was me!'
Mahindra and others looked at him for seconds, wondering. Then the chief asked him curiously, 'It was you?! Did you make that sound?'
'Yes sir, it was me. But I did not do that deliberately. I went asleep unwanted, and it was the sound of my snoring.' Said Raman, ashamed.
Mahindra shouted at him, blaming, 'Fool Raman! How could you sleep while a tiger is turning around us? You cost me a bag of gunpowder and a bullet.'
At that time, a man shouted in the darkness, 'Sir, you killed my donkey! You split it in half!'
Mahindra and all the men turned to the sound direction in the darkness. Mahindra shouted, 'Hell! Who are you? What donkey are you talking about?'
'I'm Sondra. The poor donkey was mine. I tied it to the fence as bait to attract the tiger, but you shot at it.' the man said with a load sound in the darkness.
Mahindra became angry again and said, 'Did you consult me about this?! How I could realize you have made that stupid plan and tied your damn donkey there. It is your fault, so don't expect me to pay you its compensation. I will give you nothing!'
After a while, a man appeared in the darkness, came to Mahindra, and said, 'Sir, why did you shoot at the faultless donkey!'
Mahindra said, 'Dear Sondra. We are here to hunt a bloodthirsty tiger, not a cute pet?! Do you expect I hunt such a tiger with an air rifle?!'
'But sir, it was not a tiger, it was my poor donkey that served me .' Said Sondra.'
Mahindra relied on, 'it was the fault of Atma. He freaked me out. He ran toward me and shouted, tiger, tiger, and in the darkness, I supposed your donkey was that tiger.
'Didn't you recognize a tiger has not two long ears?' said Sondra.
Mahindra said, 'Don't talk stupid! When I could not see your donkey in the dark, how could I recognize its ears?'
Atma came close to Sandra, put his hand on his shoulder pitifully, and said, 'Sandra, our chief is right. It was my fault. I went to sleep and snored. Raman supposed it was the sound of the tiger and went to the chief to alert him, but I don't know why senior Mahindra shot aimlessly. That shooting was probably because of fear. Give thanks to god that his antique gun didn't kill you instead of your donkey!'
I often write humor. That is the start of a humor story I wrote as an exercise (to work on dialogues). It is in summary, and I didn't extend its scenes and description of characters.
Everyone was quiet and motionless and just listening. On the semi-dark night when the moon was not full, they looked at the same point in silence. Shiva was behind a wooden wall of a house, but the men were further and each one hidden somewhere with a spare, but the village chief, Mahindra had a flintlock gun and was in front of his house door. Some of those men fastened a kitchen knife on a long stick and believed it was better than a wooden stick with a sharp tip.
It was now 1:00 PM, and they waited for a long time. The finger of the chief was on the trigger of the old gun while he napped. At that time, something grunted in the darkness. One of the men left his place hastily, went to the chief, and shouted, 'the tiger is here!'
Mahindra, who was asleep, pressed his finger on the gun trigger, frightened, and the gun fired! The earsplitting sound of the old gun shooting echoed in the area with a dazzling light of flaring gunpowder that existed from the barrel. Mahindra shouted angrily at that man from behind the thick layer of smoke, 'Stupid Atma! You did frighten me! Where is that tiger, you said?'
That man said, 'Sir, all the men heard that sound.'
After the gunfire, the village men left their place and gathered in front of the chief's house. Mahindra said to the men with a loud sound, 'Atma claims he has heard the sound of the tiger. Does he say right?'
One of the men said, 'Yes, sir. He is right. I heard the sound too.' Some of the other men confirmed his word.
Mahindra thought for a while and said, 'Something is wrong. When tigers approach their prey, they usually don't make a sound?!'
One of the men named Raman came in front of the men and said to Mahindra, embarrassed, 'You are right, sir. It was not a tiger; it was me!'
Mahindra and others looked at him for seconds, wondering. Then the chief asked him curiously, 'It was you?! Did you make that sound?'
'Yes sir, it was me. But I did not do that deliberately. I went asleep unwanted, and it was the sound of my snoring.' Said Raman, ashamed.
Mahindra shouted at him, blaming, 'Fool Raman! How could you sleep while a tiger is turning around us? You cost me a bag of gunpowder and a bullet.'
At that time, a man shouted in the darkness, 'Sir, you killed my donkey! You split it in half!'
Mahindra and all the men turned to the sound direction in the darkness. Mahindra shouted, 'Hell! Who are you? What donkey are you talking about?'
'I'm Sondra. The poor donkey was mine. I tied it to the fence as bait to attract the tiger, but you shot at it.' the man said with a load sound in the darkness.
Mahindra became angry again and said, 'Did you consult me about this?! How I could realize you have made that stupid plan and tied your damn donkey there. It is your fault, so don't expect me to pay you its compensation. I will give you nothing!'
After a while, a man appeared in the darkness, came to Mahindra, and said, 'Sir, why did you shoot at the faultless donkey!'
Mahindra said, 'Dear Sondra. We are here to hunt a bloodthirsty tiger, not a cute pet?! Do you expect I hunt such a tiger with an air rifle?!'
'But sir, it was not a tiger, it was my poor donkey that served me .' Said Sondra.'
Mahindra relied on, 'it was the fault of Atma. He freaked me out. He ran toward me and shouted, tiger, tiger, and in the darkness, I supposed your donkey was that tiger.
'Didn't you recognize a tiger has not two long ears?' said Sondra.
Mahindra said, 'Don't talk stupid! When I could not see your donkey in the dark, how could I recognize its ears?'
Atma came close to Sandra, put his hand on his shoulder pitifully, and said, 'Sandra, our chief is right. It was my fault. I went to sleep and snored. Raman supposed it was the sound of the tiger and went to the chief to alert him, but I don't know why senior Mahindra shot aimlessly. That shooting was probably because of fear. Give thanks to god that his antique gun didn't kill you instead of your donkey!'
