Kajii motojiro

[karenk]

Thank you, Toritoribe! And sorry for the awful English...

 

[karenk]

Hi Toritoribe, in the sentence: 私の病んでいる生き物。私は暗闇のなかにやがて消えてしまう。しかしお前は睡らないでひとりおきているように思える。そとの虫のように……青い燐光を燃（もや）しながら…… The narrator is the one who is suffering or is he talking to the point o light inside his room? I translated it as : "You, wretched creature. I will soon disappear in the darkness. But you will be unable to sleep and will be left alone. Like the insect outside... irradiating a blue phosphorescence"

Anyway, I still have doubts about 私の病んでいる生き物, should I understand it as "I'm a suffering being"?

 

[Toritoribe]

It's the latter; he is talking to 部屋のなかの一点の燐光. However, the light is also himself or coming from himself, so he used 私の. The important nuance is lost in the translation "I'm a suffering being", I think.
睡らないで is not the negative potential form.

 

[karenk]

Hi Toritoribe! Do you think that いかにあわれと思うらん could be translated as "How miserable I must seem"? Thank you!

 

[Toritoribe]

哀れ（あわれ）の意味 - goo国語辞書

As in the dictionary linked above, あわれ means "touching/tasteful" in that case, so it's more likely something like "How touching I would feel it is (if I drink in that situation)". The speaker stated …飲んでいるのならどんなに楽しいでしょう before the sentence, and 実際いつもそんな気持になるんです after it, so いかにあわれと思うらん expresses the same feelings as these ones.

 

[karenk]

I see. I went for 哀れ as "sorry, sad" ... Shortly it means that the idea o being observed while drinking makes him feel very moved, right?

Could you explain the 思うらん form?

I also have doubts about the sentence: 俺の秘密な心のなかだけの空想が俺自身には関係なく、ひとりでの意志で著（ちゃく）々と計画を進めてゆくというような、いったいそんなことがあり得ることだろうか。それともこんな反省すらもちゃんと予定の仕組で、今もしあの男の影があすこへあらわれたら、さあいよいよと舌を出すつもりにしていたのではなかろうか……」

At the end, who is poking the tongue at whom? Is it the narrator's fantasy making fun of the oblivious narrator or is the narrator himself, who, unconscious of the plan of his fantasy, ends up poking the tongue at the shadow on the cliff?

 

[Toritoribe]

Could you explain the 思うらん form?

らん is a classical auxiliary verb for presumption, corresponding to だろう in modern Japanese.

Shortly it means that the idea o being observed while drinking makes him feel very moved, right?

あわれと思う is not his current feeling but the one he would feel in that situation. He imagines it.

I also have doubts about the sentence: 俺の秘密な心のなかだけの空想が俺自身には関係なく、ひとりでの意志で著（ちゃく）々と計画を進めてゆくというような、いったいそんなことがあり得ることだろうか。それともこんな反省すらもちゃんと予定の仕組で、今もしあの男の影があすこへあらわれたら、さあいよいよと舌を出すつもりにしていたのではなかろうか……」

At the end, who is poking the tongue at whom? Is it the narrator's fantasy making fun of the oblivious narrator or is the narrator himself, who, unconscious of the plan of his fantasy, ends up poking the tongue at the shadow on the cliff?

It would be the former, I think.

 

[karenk]

Hi Toritoribe! I'm re-reading some parts of my translation and still have points that I find weird. For example in the passage: 私の心はなんだかびりりとしました。知るということと行うということとに何ら距りをつけないと云った生活態度の強さが私を圧迫したのです。単にそればかりではありません。私は心のなかで暗にその調停者の態度を是認していました。更に云えば「その人の気持もわかる」と思っていたからです。私は両方共わかっているというのは両方とも知らないのだと反省しないではいられませんでした。便りにしていたものが崩れてゆく何とも云えないいやな気持です。Ａの両親さえ私にはそっぽを向けるだろうと思いました。一方の極へおとされてゆく私の気持は、然し、本能的な逆の力と争いはじめました。そしてＡの家を出る頃ようやく調和したくつろぎに帰ることが出来ました。Ａが使（つかい）から帰って来てからは皆の話も変って専（もっぱ）ら来年の計画の上に落ちました。Ｒのつけた雑誌の名前を繰り返し繰り返し喜び、それと定まるまでの苦心を滑稽化して笑いました。私の興味深く感じるのはその名前によって表現を得た私達の精神が、今度はその名前から再び鼓舞され整理されてくるということです。

What is the thing in which he relies and is crumbling? Is it the belief that he had taken the side of his friend?
And why would even the parents of his friend A turn him away? I can't figure this passage out...

 

[Toritoribe]

What is the thing in which he relies and is crumbling? Is it the belief that he had taken the side of his friend?

I don't think 便りにしていたもの refers to a specific thing. It would be his "belief" in general.

And why would even the parents of his friend A turn him away? I can't figure this passage out...

It's "not only A but also A's parents", I think.

 

[karenk]

It's "not only A but also A's parents", I think.

But why would it be? Is it because the narrator thinks that he has no solid beliefs because he is capable of understanding the reasons of each side concerning the matter at hand?

 

[Toritoribe]

Judging from what he wrote so far, he and the writer of the letter (= 調停者) are both a bit on the parents' side, so he would think Ａの両親さえ.

私は当初彼を冷そうとさえ思いました。少くとも私が彼の心を熱しさせてゆく存在であることを避けようと努めました。問題がそういう風に大きくなればなる程そうしなければならぬと思ったのです。

Ａの気持もよくわかっていると云うのならなぜ此方を骨折ろうとしないんだ
(I think 調停者 would write "Ａの気持もよくわかっている, but you also need to think about your parents' thoughts" or something like that in the letter.)

私は心のなかで暗にその調停者の態度を是認していました。更に云えば「その人の気持もわかる」と思っていたからです。

 

[karenk]

Thank you, Toritoribe!

 

[karenk]

Hi again, I have doubts the intepretation of the following sentence: 朽ちかけた梯子（はしご）をあがろうとして、眼の前の小部屋の障子が開いていた。なかには蒲団が敷いてあり、人の眼がこちらを睨（にら）んでいた。知らぬふりであがって行きながら喬は、こんな場所での気強さ、と思った。

Does the narrator conclude that that place makes him feel a little insensible?

 

[Toritoribe]

気強さ means "strong heart", not "insensible". Although the man stared at him, he didn't care about it and kept going up the ladder pretending not to notice it.

 

[karenk]

Thank you Toritoribe! I'm almost concluding my revision but sometimes I still find something I have doubts about. You are Japanese, right? Is Kajii Motojirô still an appreciated writer in Japan or is he already outdated? And, by the way, who would your favorite writer from the first half of the 20th century be? (Answer if you feel like).

 

[Toritoribe]

Yes, I'm a Japanese. Unfortunately, 梶井基次郎 is not so popular nowadays. I've just read his works in textbooks in school. The most famous/popular writers in that era would be 夏目漱石, 芥川龍之介 or 太宰治. I like them.

 

[karenk]

Hi! I like those authors as well, but my favorite is Dazai.

In my last question I meant "insensitive", not "insensible", false cognates are trick for people who speak latin-derived languages (specially when one is tired...).

Hope you have a nice weekend, Toritoribe!

 

[karenk]

Hi, Tori! Hope you are doing well, things are so crazy these days... I'm cleaning the dust from an old thread. How should I read 他二十編 as in 檸檬・ある心の風景 他二十編? "Tajyûnihen" or "Hoka jyûnihen"? Thanks!

 

[Toritoribe]

Thanks. I'm fine. The number of patients is still few in my home town.

The reading of 他 is hoka, but 二十編 is nijuppen, not jūnihen.

 

[karenk]

Thank you! Keep safe!