Is the following correct for a Japanese funeral?

One note worth mentioning:

There really aren't very many ashes. Western cremations yield nothing but ashes because the crematorium runs the bones through a pulverizer to turn them to powder (ash). In other words, the ashes aren't the remains of burnt flesh....that all gets consumed by the intense heat with very little ash remaining....the "ashes" are chiefly powdered bone.

Japanese crematoriums don't pulverize the bones so there is very little ash present among the bones. Some ash will be generated during the moving of the bones to the urn, as the bones are now extremely brittle and are very much like compressed ash retaining the general shape of a bone out of little more than force of habit. During handling pieces flake off and some bones may crumble or disintegrate.

1)
No. A new urn is prepared for the deceased.

2)
The person in charge(in the crematorium) usually picks a bone with explaining what part of born it is (e.g. This is a femur. This is a rib.), and passes it to a mourner. He/She places it in the urn and then the next mourner recieves the next bone from the person(= the person in charge).

3)
It IS done indivisually. The situation "bones of two dead people are in the same room" never happens.

4)
The person in charge usally says "You can pick bones by yourselves. Or, I can help to pick them and pass you. Which do you like?", but I've never encountered a case of doing it only by mourners. (I have many relatives. I've attended those ceremonies ten times or so.)

5)
Not "by family members", but "by the chief mourner(moshu)".
Yes, it is done at the end before the skull. As you might know, the adam's apple is called "nodobotoke" in Japanese, meaning "throat Buddha". This name is from the appearance of the bone. They say it seems like a sitting Budda in meditation. So, the adam's apple is placed in the urn in the right sitting form, and then after the urn is covered, the person in charge marks up the cover to show where the front of "the Budda" is. (When the urn is placed in the little chamber under the headstone, the mark is faced to the front.)

6)
The bones are as the body is in the coffin, not being mixed up in a tray.

mmkp1990 said:

P.S I am planning for the guest children to do the bone picking, then the parent's children who are frightened to see their parent's bones picked will force themselves to pick the adam's apple bone together and place in urn before a friend says they will finish it off by placing the pieces of the skull in the urn

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That order of bone picking is not common.

Guys, thanks again for all your help. That is all the information I need and now I can finish the funeral service of the story. Thank you very much for al your help during the last couple of weeks Really appreciate it

There is always a crematorium staff person present. It's a very somber moment, and he is needed to explain various things. First of all, he runs a magnet over the remains to sift out nails from the coffin and any other metallic debris. Then, as Toritoribe explained, he demonstrates what to do. He is the one who usually puts in the largest piece of skull on top before the urn is covered. If it doesn't fit well, he very carefully uses a tool to crack it. Again, this is a VERY personal and somber moment, so doing that is a sensitive thing, even though it mechanically must be done.

I think this would be a tremendously emotional moment for anyone younger than 15. Keep this in mind.

Passing bones from one person to the next is why you never pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, in case you didn't know.

Glenski said:

There is always a crematorium staff person present. It's a very somber moment, and he is needed to explain various things. First of all, he runs a magnet over the remains to sift out nails from the coffin and any other metallic debris. Then, as Toritoribe explained, he demonstrates what to do. He is the one who usually puts in the largest piece of skull on top before the urn is covered. If it doesn't fit well, he very carefully uses a tool to crack it. Again, this is a VERY personal and somber moment, so doing that is a sensitive thing, even though it mechanically must be done.

I think this would be a tremendously emotional moment for anyone younger than 15. Keep this in mind.

Passing bones from one person to the next is why you never pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, in case you didn't know.

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Thank you for your answer, really appreciate it and very interesting. I did know about the chopstick to chopstick thing where food can't be passed. I understand why in anime they always have to feed them when giving them food (or can put it in plate), Thanks again for your answer

Currently, I'm doing a comic about some funeral rites. It may or may not be helpful to you. I've posted eight of the pages here (in three different posts), and will post the last two tonight or tomorrow.
def in Japan: a comic diary

Good luck with the project. It's difficult to write stories using cultures you aren't familiar with.

How about a comic the learning of kanji?

nahadef said:

Currently, I'm doing a comic about some funeral rites. It may or may not be helpful to you. I've posted eight of the pages here (in three different posts), and will post the last two tonight or tomorrow.
def in Japan: a comic diary

Good luck with the project. It's difficult to write stories using cultures you aren't familiar with.

Click to expand...

Thank you for this very useful material. Really appreciate it

FinancialWar said:

How about a comic the learning of kanji?

Click to expand...

It's not a bad idea, but it's a very different level of work. To write about my personal experience is different from writing authoritatively on a topic.