Is the following correct for a Japanese funeral?

[mmkp1990]

Hi,

I am writing a story and I want to know if the following below is suitable in regards of a Japanese funeral:

1: Children are in orphanage so parent coffin is taken in orphanage, this is where people pay their respect to the parent and also throw in flowers into the open coffin.

2: Coffin taken to crematorium, coffin remains open when eldest child makes eulogy

3: After eulogy coffin is closen and taken to furnace to be cremated.

4: Parent ashes buried into ground with their own headstone, this is where the children's parents and any other children place incest sticks on headstone.

Is this suitable or am I missing or got a couple of things incorrect?

Thank you

 

[Glenski]

I couldn't tell you anything about orphanages, but I would doubt a coffin with the body would be brought there for any ceremony. That's what funeral halls are for. Also, the coffin is open there and on display while the monk chants and people give speeches. Some people will choose to put flowers or a special gift inside before the coffin is sealed. It is then sealed up there before being transported to the crematorium (and family & guests go by funeral hall bus).

After cremation, family put the bone fragments into a jar with the help of a crematorium staff. It is then carried to the home of one of the family members for a short time (traditionally 49 days), then taken to the cemetery, where it is placed under the stone marker. There is incense and tiny gong at the home altar, which also has a photo on display, plus some gifts for the deceased. There are flowers, gifts, and incense at the cemetery, too.

 

[Mike Cash]

"Incense"

Please don't mistakenly put "incest" in the story.

 

[mmkp1990]

revised list for japanese funeral

I couldn't tell you anything about orphanages, but I would doubt a coffin with the body would be brought there for any ceremony. That's what funeral halls are for. Also, the coffin is open there and on display while the monk chants and people give speeches. Some people will choose to put flowers or a special gift inside before the coffin is sealed. It is then sealed up there before being transported to the crematorium (and family & guests go by funeral hall bus).
After cremation, family put the bone fragments into a jar with the help of a crematorium staff. It is then carried to the home of one of the family members for a short time (traditionally 49 days), then taken to the cemetery, where it is placed under the stone marker. There is incense and tiny gong at the home altar, which also has a photo on display, plus some gifts for the deceased. There are flowers, gifts, and incense at the cemetery, too.

Ok cool, thanks for this information. So ok the parent is an only parent and the children know of no other family member so I am guessing this seems more realistic in your eyes:

1: Children and guests go to funeral hall, flowers are put inside then the speech is given. (I will not bother with the monk chant in between the two events as not really relevant to story).

2: Coffin sealed, taken to crematorium to be burned. All guests go in funeral hall bus as all guests are the other orphans.

3: Bone fragments are picked by children and supporters. ( I read about this on wikipedia)

4: Now as child does not have any family members, can they just bury it straight away on the day or do you think it is better for story sake that they keep it 49 days (use rolling calendar to fast forward to 49th day) and they do the burial of the ashes then? Got to remember the children have no family members, the people who helped them with the funeral arrangements are supporters of a children trust who organised the whole funeral for the children.

What you think? Thanks again for your answer

 

[mmkp1990]

"Incense"

Please don't mistakenly put "incest" in the story.

Haha sorry, what a mistake that was lol. Must have just typed it without thinking because I know it is incense (especially as an Indian like myself). Must be having weird thoughts in the mind lol.

 

[Mike Cash]

Is your story going to completely skip the wake and only mention the funeral?

 

[mmkp1990]

Is your story going to completely skip the wake and only mention the funeral?

I'm thinking skipping the wake (can presume the wake has already been performed) by showing a shot of the "incense" (just making sure this time lol) sticks to the incense urn (so 2 family members meaning 6 incense sticks altogether in the urn). Then again thanks to wikipedia, the eldest child performs a eulogy (which is important to story). After place in the flowers from all guests, (orphan children before the parent's own children). Then cremate, perform the bone fragment (just a quick shot of this). Then finally the only issue is does it seem better to keep the urn 49 days in the orphanage before burying it or just do it on the day?

In terms of the story if it is all done in a day then it is able to keep everything in the moment, but if people point out this is incorrect then may as well be realistic first and do the 49 days by just fast forwarding with the children knowing that at last the parent can rest in peace. Like I said the funeral arrangements is done by a support group as the children are orphans and have no family members in the story.

 

[mmkp1990]

Found an English translation of a sutra, i might include this before the child performs a eulogy when asked by the monk to step up, but is this a suitable sutra ending:


Therefore, the Bodhisattvas rely on Prajna-Paramita, the most excellent wisdom, and with no hindrance of mind, no fears and no illusions, they enter into Nirvana. All Buddhas from the past present and future practice in this way and awake to complete and perfect enlightenment.

Therefore, know that the Prajna-Paramita is the great bright mantra, the great transcendent mantra that relieves all suffering. Know this as truth and declare:

Gone, Gone, Gone Beyond, Gone Far Beyond, Be Set Upon Awakening!


I am guessing the last line everybody says with the monk?


Thanks

 

[Mike Cash]

Nobody here has the slightest clue what the priest is saying; the sutras are not in Japanese.

 

[Glenski]

Mike is right. It's all monotonous mumbling as far as anyone else is aware.


The family/friends get a book with which to attempt following all this. Might as well be Sanskrit.

 

[Toritoribe]

I'm thinking skipping the wake (can presume the wake has already been performed) by showing a shot of the "incense" (just making sure this time lol) sticks to the incense urn (so 2 family members meaning 6 incense sticks altogether in the urn). Then again thanks to wikipedia, the eldest child performs a eulogy (which is important to story). After place in the flowers from all guests, (orphan children before the parent's own children). Then cremate, perform the bone fragment (just a quick shot of this). Then finally the only issue is does it seem better to keep the urn 49 days in the orphanage before burying it or just do it on the day?

In terms of the story if it is all done in a day then it is able to keep everything in the moment, but if people point out this is incorrect then may as well be realistic first and do the 49 days by just fast forwarding with the children knowing that at last the parent can rest in peace. Like I said the funeral arrangements is done by a support group as the children are orphans and have no family members in the story.

No problem to bury the urn on the same day of the funeral. That's actually done, e.g. for the sake of far-away relatives.

 

[mmkp1990]

Haha, it is like an Indian funeral where we have no idea what the priest is saying either lol. Thank you guys for your answers, it was really helpful and it will my story. I appreciate the advice and help you have given

 

[mmkp1990]

Hi,

I am planning for the burial in the story to happen by tradition, but I just want to ensure I get the correct date. If the date of the funeral, cremation and bone picking is done on the 10th September. Then is it correct that the burial of the ashes will be done on the 30th October? In other words is it on or the day after the 49 days and does day 1 start on the same day as the cremation when the urn is brought home or is it the next full day?

 

[Mike Cash]

I always thought it was 49 days after death, but now that you mention it, I'm not so sure.

 

[mmkp1990]

I always thought it was 49 days after death, but now that you mention it, I'm not so sure.

I heard that the ashes needs to be kept at home for 49 days as per tradition, so as mentioned it is when day 1 starts and whether it is on or after the 49th day.

 

[Mike Cash]

I heard that the ashes needs to be kept at home for 49 days as per tradition, so as mentioned it is when day 1 starts and whether it is on or after the 49th day.

The 49 day bit comes from how long it is believed to take the deceased to achieve Buddhahood (enlightenment) in the next world. But since the funeral is actually a posthumous ordination of sorts, I'm really not sure if it starts at death or at the funeral.

 

[Mike Cash]

Verified: 49 days after death

There are various other periods at which it may also be done, such as 100 days, one year, three years, etc.....or on whatever day the family feels like it.

 

[mmkp1990]

Verified: 49 days after death

There are various other periods at which it may also be done, such as 100 days, one year, three years, etc.....or on whatever day the family feels like it.

Ah ok, fair enough lol. I think short answer then is it doesn't matter, just bury them lol. I heard though in some places it may not matter, some places bury straight away, some places may do it after 49 days, or as you have shown, some people may do it even longer than that. Is Japan really strict in tradition for this situation? Or is it more flexible (like you stated if you have lond distant relatives it may be an issue to have a burial on a different day.

 

[Mike Cash]

I think most aim for 49 days, but as a practical matter is will vary between families. I believe many families schedule it for a Sunday near that time, as many people in Japan still have a six-day workweek and may be reluctant or unable to take a day off during the week. Companies will let you off for such family matters, but many employees may feel reluctant to actually take off.

 

[mmkp1990]

I think most aim for 49 days, but as a practical matter is will vary between families. I believe many families schedule it for a Sunday near that time, as many people in Japan still have a six-day workweek and may be reluctant or unable to take a day off during the week. Companies will let you off for such family matters, but many employees may feel reluctant to actually take off.

Ok cool, thanks again for your help. This was the link I used to get the information and the reason why I got confused in first place with the 49 days thing:

Japanese Funeral Customs

Ok so 49 days after death, so they died lets say 23rd August, so 11th October makes it 49 days so the burial should be on the 12th October? Just making sure.

I know you said many families will do it on a Sunday but as this deals with children and I am only showing really the date and not day from the calendar, this isn't much to worry about.

 

[Mike Cash]

Have it in March, then if an overly critical reader calls you out you can claim the story is set in a leap year.

 

[mmkp1990]

Have it in March, then if an overly critical reader calls you out you can claim the story is set in a leap year.

Haha, good call lol, thanks again for your help buddy. I just hope it all seems correct, I'm sure it must be 12th October after reading your post.

 

[Toritoribe]

There are two different ways of counting the days. In Eastern Japan, "shonanoka(the first 7th day) is usually the 7th day from the date of the death(including the day), i.e., 29th August and the 49 days is 10th October, whereas in Western Japan, where I live, shonanoka is usually the the 6th day from the date, i.e., 28th August and the 49 days is 9th October.

As Mike-san wrote, 49 days ceremony is sometimes done on week end, so it's no problem if the date is BEFORE the true 49th day. However, in some regions, there is another custom that 49 days is never done two months later from the death. In this case, 49 days is done in the end of September, e.g. 25th/26th September (35 days).

 

[mmkp1990]

There are two different ways of counting the days. In Eastern Japan, "shonanoka(the first 7th day) is usually the 7th day from the date of the death(including the day), i.e., 29th August and the 49 days is 10th October, whereas in Western Japan, where I live, shonanoka is usually the the 6th day from the date, i.e., 28th August and the 49 days is 9th October.

As Mike-san wrote, 49 days ceremony is sometimes done on week end, so it's no problem if the date is BEFORE the true 49th day. However, in some regions, there is another custom that 49 days is never done two months later from the death. In this case, 49 days is done in the end of September, e.g. 25th/26th September (35 days).

Cool, thank you for this. The story is actually placed in a fictional town but the influence of the story is based on a region from eastern Japan so I will go with their method. Thank you and thanks to Mike-san again for your help It is interesting as well on recognizing your tradition, different to Indian culture. Funny how both countries are not far from each other, yet completely different. I am still learning my own culture and traditions as even though I am Indian, I was born, raised and still live in England where there isn't much culture and tradition.

Thank again for your help, much appreciated

 

[mmkp1990]

There are two different ways of counting the days. In Eastern Japan, "shonanoka(the first 7th day) is usually the 7th day from the date of the death(including the day), i.e., 29th August and the 49 days is 10th October, whereas in Western Japan, where I live, shonanoka is usually the the 6th day from the date, i.e., 28th August and the 49 days is 9th October.

As Mike-san wrote, 49 days ceremony is sometimes done on week end, so it's no problem if the date is BEFORE the true 49th day. However, in some regions, there is another custom that 49 days is never done two months later from the death. In this case, 49 days is done in the end of September, e.g. 25th/26th September (35 days).

This should really be the last question, has anyone taken part in a bone ceremony before? Reason I ask is from my research I am not sure if I have got it correct because of lack of specific information.

This is how I got it so far in my story:

There is a table containing 2 ceramic urns (urn 1 and urn 2). There are four trays containing bones, two trays belongs to one dead body (so belongs to one urn), the other two trays belonging to the other dead body (so goes in other urn).

There are four children around the table. 2 children picking through urn 1 tray of bones, 2 children picking through the other two trays for the other urn.

When a bone is picked by one child (starting with feet), then they place the bone in the relevant urn and give their chopsticks to the next guy waiting as he/she has a go.

The above is what I got so far in my story, but I do have a couple of questions as well as needing to know if the above is suitable:

1: Will the urns contain the relevant ashes of the decease already before the bones are placed?

2: Do the bones have to be passed child to child before being placed in the urn? (meaning the children will have to work together for one bone)

3. Can the bone ceremony happen for two dead people at same time or does it have to be done individually?

4. Is it suitable for a child to pick a bone and then give to next child? Or is it those selected that have to do whole ceremony. Or can it be the children pick some bones out and then they get called to change with another four children who are waiting behind?

5.I heard the adam's apple is most important and must be picked by family members, so I am assuming it is true this goes last before the skull?

6: Are the bones mixed up in a tray when delivered and need to be picked out by knowing which bones to pick first?

That I believe is all the questions I need to ask and it is final part of research and the funeral part in the story is complete. Any help like always will be greatly appreciated.

P.S I am planning for the guest children to do the bone picking, then the parent's children who are frightened to see their parent's bones picked will force themselves to pick the adam's apple bone together and place in urn before a friend says they will finish it off by placing the pieces of the skull in the urn