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Question Is ghosting common among Japanese?

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15 Nov 2020
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I have some Japanese friends I met during my student exchange program at one of univs in Asia some years ago.

And 3 years ago I had a chance to visit Japan and I tried to contact all of them. I invited them to have lunch together. I always do this kind of activity— inviting old friends to have lunch anytime or anywhere I get chance to meet (I do cherish friendships! Haha). Unfortunately, most of them have moved to another city because of work, and there was only 1 friend that I found we live in the same city (he is a guy).

Longs story short, I was successful to invite him to have lunch and we finally met up. Just like a usual meeting, we had talk about career and a bit nostalgic about our time at university. All went fine.

Some days after that, I lost my bike that I parked in front of a store (later I knew that I parked it at the wrong spot and it was took and sent to the a bike center by the authority). I was that panick because it was a rented bike, and I didn’t know how to get it back.

In that moment, I grab my phone and sent a message to my friend I met some days ago. I told him that I lost my bike and asked him what to do (I hoped he would give me clear information of what to do, like call police/authority or something). I messaged him because he was the only friend I knew who lived in the same city as mine.

I kept checking my phone, and I found that my message just be read by him- and he left it with no response at all. I don’t know what actually happened to him, but Damn, I was so upset with his attitude. (Even after I back from Japan, my message was still not replied).

I shared this kind of ridiculous experience to my senior coworker who has lived in Japan for years, and she said that it was kind of “ghosting”, where a person just cut their relationships with other people they met *and she said this is quiet often happen in Japan*
I also think that nothing happened nor I said something wrong during the time I met him in Japan

So, for the readers of this, is it true that ghosting is a common thing among Japanese? Let me be enlightened.


6 Mar 2003
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I haven't experienced anything like that. I have of course lost touch with many people over the years. I find that many people are not diligent in keeping in touch but that's not specific to Japanese. Very strange that he wouldn't respond when you contacted him with a need like that, especially after you had just met up with him.

Uncle Frank

21 May 2003
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In my 2 years there , only had it happen once. A beautiful young lady who could have been a Playboy bunny hooked onto me for about a month. The only catch seemed to be that I had to go to her English class once a week with her. When my schedule changed and I could not go , she disappeared , LOL.
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