Slightly racist parentage, for one. I'm Indian (which in Britain is "Asian". Japanese, Korean, Chinese etc. are under the blanket term Oriental most of the time), and my parents have stated in the past a severe dislike with me ever dating a non-indian lady. The indian/pakistani social group at my old college also frowned deeply upon asians dating outside of your own race.
Apparently native asians (in the british sense) are less strict then their british and european expat cousins, i think its more to do with the pressures of a new culture making british asians more defensive of "their ways" then it actually being a racial thing.
In my city (aberdeen) theres a good few asians (oriental) so its even more common to see mixed couples then usual, me and my girlfriend didnt look out of place (the only couple i did really notice was a bloke we looked like me but in his 40's, with his asian (oriental) woman who was in her 40's, clinging to his arm like my g/f was to mine, looking at the same cinema timetable as us).
My friend of Chinese origin is unable to date non-Chinese. His parents have told him to date only Chinese, and he does not disobey them (most of the time). So I would say, yes.
Thats flat-out racism, just for that i think your friend should (if it comes to falling in love with her) marry a non-chinese woman when hes older, and if his parents dont like it, tough cookies, they should remember who will be in charge of their elderly care.
I never got why parents are like that i mean, do they not relise their son (or daughter) is in charge of them when they are old?.....more chinese and asian kids should just threaten to withdraw all support, financially and stuff if they dont butt out.
If they are real parents it will teach them some human respect.
I think it's to get away from things they dislike or hate about their own culture. I know that's why I'd not date an Indian girl, I'm not strictly religious like almost every other asian I know, I'm also into my own music, movies, etc. This gets criticised/frowned upon by other asians, who will therefore not treat me as just another Indian, but as a special case. I don't really care about that anyway, which is a benefit of making my own path and choices
Hear, hear.
Theres protecting your heritage and culture, then theres controlling it.
Im scottish, i dont listen to folk music at all, i dont plan on wearing a kilt until a wedding, i dont believe in dating only red haired blue eyed scottish lasses, and yet i still freely by my own choice hold great loyalty and high regard for my country and the culture.
Skin colour doesnt make you a scots, the heart and mind does.
I think other minorities should learn this aswell.
When i marry my japanese girlfriend and we have our family, my kids will be half japanese and half scottish, and if we live in scotland, this will a heavily influential side to their heritage, they can look as asian as it gets, it doesnt matter, they will be as scottish as the palest red haired ronald McPublic.
(Also please note, most scots are dark haired.)
Personally, (being an atheist) my choice was not to date anyone with strong religious convictions, as I know it wouldn't have lasted more than a week. But that came from me, not from my parents.
Amen (lol) , i could never marry anyone with strong religious convictions, even slight religious beliefs would rub me up the wrong way.
Dont get me wrong i aint hating on religion, i just dont believe in the current options given, science and reason still hold sway over my mind and i dont go to church so i aint going to want it in my house.
Though to be fair i do have a "Kami house", i actually find that on the rare occassion i do need to prayer to artificially comfort myself, praying to a kami seems much more innocent and safer, the kami isnt after my eternal soul, it doesnt want anything but a few 5 yen coins, it isnt telling me to follow a strict life-style or burn in hell, it isnt telling me how to think, it just asks in return for a little help, a 5 or 10 yen coin.
I can live with that.
I'm not saying people from different backgrounds can't be happy, but it often can cause problems. So don't think too harshly of the parents who warn against "mixed" dating: they're not necessarily racist.
It is racist, incredibly so, if anything being the exact same is a recipe for divorce, being different from each other ensures a healthy vibrant living breathing marriage for a life-time, being exactly the same just leads to bordom, apathy, even dislike and easily to divorce.
I think couples who are alike have to put in way more effort ultimately then a couple who are different.
Im always going to be learning something new with my woman, or always having something to discuss and debate and keep things refreshing, if i married a female version of me ide divorce her within a year of the marriage.
As with any interracial couple, the Asian women/European men pair has its portion of stereotypes. I have heard and read about these assorted stereotypes from the Europeans' side and the Asians' side. It is pathetic I suppose, but it can likewise be neat to resist damaging stereotypes. For instance, a European decent man with an Asian woman is frequently stereotyped as having a ツ"little instrumentツ" that he can't intimately gratify a white woman. Or that he is solely into the Asian woman for her compliance and sexed charm. Also the Asian woman can get stereotyped as being regarded too unappealing for Asian men, thus having to be with a European descendent man. Or, another absurd (though sometime accurate, I guess) belief made is that the Asian woman experiences outclassed and detests being Asian, and is with the European descendent man to advance her self-respect and to experience as white as possible.
This is called in physcology as "Projection", the person who says this thing is merely projecting his or her feelings of inferiority and/or poor self esteem onto others, as an attempt to hide their crippling sense of failure as a human being.
That or their just downright racist, in which case, i'll gladly beat the sh** out the next person who says something about me or my girlfriend and our relationship.
Luckily they never do, at least in fist-shot of me.
(i'm joking, im actually way too easy-going).
Now I don't really fit into any of those stereotypes of Asian women I read about. When I went to Taiwan with my husband to take professional photographs the people at the studio have tried to make efforts to make me changed my mind, and wouldn't stop asking me why I didn't choose Taiwanese men? I been to the studio 5 times with my husband, each time I was mobbed with questions of why I chose to marry a foreigner?
That was extremely rude, im sure in the west you could complain to someone about this to get appropriate action taken against the offending studio staff.
ツ"Those white men stole our pretty ladies!ツ"
Well....they ARE very pretty ladies....
Sometimes i was on the commuter trains with my girlfriend, ide sit in a fashion as if we werent a couple, and dudes would come on and start checking out my girlfriend, then ide take her hand just to crush their hopes, it was a creul yet fun thing to do.....i wish she wasnt so good looking it makes me bad.
Even the time I took him to Taiwan, the prettier ones were smiling at him, and they were not ordinary smiles, they were trying to hook him, the women did that in Thailand too, and he has also been targeted by Japanese woman.
But I get my share of attention so, I am not really threatened.
I think
personally people who make the effort to a marriage with someone of a different country, and comprimise (such as not demanding he/she comes to their country and never go to theirs) are much more likely to remain faithful and loyal to their partner.
But thats my silly opinion.
It could often be 'whitewashing' (as you put mention) for those ethnic minorities born abroad - i.e. having total neglect of one's original heritage and culture being replaced by the culture, tastes and preferences in the place of residence.
White-washing is racist, as ive said, culture isnt attached to skin-colour, just the luck of the draw where the culture developed.
We'd be having this same argument if white people lived in asia and developed asian culture instead, only the incredibly racist term "white-washing" would be called "yellow-glossing".
My (japanese)girlfriend says her ex-husband wanted her to give up her (18 year) career and be a housewife. I suppose she finds my attitude quite refreshing, that I like a 'working woman'. Mind you, recently she's taken to treating me like sh*t, so it's all immaterial anyway!
My ex-pen pal said she didn't want to ever get married, and I read a report on NHK's website about the drop in marriage rates.
I think less people are getting married in general, but it seems particularly evident in Japan.
Not anything special, some japanese women just have an under-developed maturity level with causes them to behave childishly like that.
Mine is one of them, but god bless her, i love the girl.
I knew this for sure when i relise she was more of a insane child then i was. :S
Also she has a cute "Nyan-Nyan!"