Ignorance to bisexuality

[Ma Cherie]

But back to the subject of having these sorts feelings. I think it's possible and fairly natural to be suddenly attracted to the same gender. It doesn't happen to everyone. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone has had these sorts of feelings? Once again, I'm making it clear that it doesn't make you gay are anything of that sort. It's just simply something that can happen.

 

[kirei_na_me]

Ummmm...well...

 

[Ma Cherie]

Ummmm...well...

Just a question, really. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, darling.

 

[Mycernius]

I thought with the Catholic Priesthood it is a case of 'do what I say not as I do'. When I was a teenager I was very anti-homosexual. As I have got older I have met and spoken to a lot of homo and bi-sexual people and it made me re-evaluate my opinion. Now it doesn't bother me. In some cases I think it perfectly natural to be attracted to a good looking man the same way you are attracted to a good looking woman. I don't think that it means you are gay. I'm not, but there are some good looking men about. I have had conversations with female friends about whether such and such is good looking or not and never had any strange looks or comments. One thing I have found strange is that I know a lot more bi-sexual women than men and most women seem comfortable with homo or bi-sexuality in women, but are replused by homosexuality in men.
Another question is why do some agy men act so camp? Most gay men you wouldn't know if you spoke or looked at them, so why do a minority camp it up and where do they get this idea from? Women don't act like it. If I was female and someone said that man is acting so effemiently I would feel insulted. I thinks it insults them as it is

 

[Ma Cherie]

Thanks for pointing that Mycernius. I noticed that most women seem more comfortable with have feelings of bi-sexaul curiosity. But I think the reason why men don't admit these feelings as much, is because it's not encouraged. I know some guys have these sorts of feelings. In fact, I find it more interesting when a guy has these feelings. I don't know why I just do. I remember one time, I was having a discussion with one of my mail friends. He even pointed out the fact that yes men have bi-sexaul feelings. They just won't admit it.

 

[alexriversan]

now, i see, people reply and introduce these words.

do i read these words fifty times?*

people are not ......, they are made ......

as easy as that:

boy/girl: love * boy/boy: friendship.
sometimes, a wife occurs also as friend, sometimes not.
sometimes, friendship includes love, more than sometimes: not.

the words introduced are not neccessary.
they apply to man, who do not enter marriage at 35 years. and, in japanese, there are different words. i am not an expert myself. i consider it as inpolite, to point at the sexuality of people, within speak. unless this becomes neccessary.

and christianity: hey this was just an ordinary guy.

of course i see the good will of the repliers, however it does not occur too helpful/useful. my perception, of course.

*the subconscious mind operates by repeater technique. just read these words, 50*50 times. then, your thought gets filled with such topic. three years later, people indeed believe they are "ghey"

 

[Kinsao]

I think a lot of people (probably the majority? but I don't know!) have sexual feelings towards same sex when they are young and first discovering their sexuality. I have no problem about this, I think it's a normal part of discovering your feelings etc. and growing up. Obviously, some people then mature to be gay or bi. But, I think it's a mistake to get too fixated on those feelings, because in fact many people who have this feeling when they are (relatively) young *aren't* gay or bi. Then, perhaps they have the thought, "oh, I am gay/bi", when really they are hetero. And there could be problems because of this, such as getting into a relationship that's not right for them, or other.

It's usual to find the same sex attractive to some extent anyway, I think partly it's a kind of 'discovery' thing, and also instinctive thing, because if you see beauty/attraction in someone the same sex, that is how you learn what is attractive. So, if I see a beautiful woman (btw I am not gay/bi), I get subconscious signal of 'what is attractive', which is one way to learn what is attractive to men. So then, maybe, I could try to imitate something of what makes her sexually attractive. Of course, I have never done this consciously, I am simply thinking a theory of 'why do many people feel attracted to same sex and then not go on to become gay/bi?'

Sorry, I have been rambling too much! and not saying anything too helpful... But I would say to Thor, no offence meant to anyone but, maybe to wait a while before thinking 'I am definitely bi'...

 

[Pachipro]

Yeah, I guess so Duo. But I really didn't want to say that being a homosexaul is a sin. Because I really didn't want to offend anyone. But what I really meant from what I have been taught, that even though it is a sin, we shouldn't hate them for it. Then again, it's almost like saying we should dislike the fact that they are homosexual.

I'm confused now. I'm only telling what I've been taught. It's complicated.

I can very well understand your confusion Ma Cherie as I was in the same boat when I left home. It is complicated. I was confused by what I was always "taught", both in school and at home, and what I was experiencing. As I got to know people of different persuasions, races, religions, etc. I began to question what I was taught versus what I was experiencing. These people were nothing like I was taught. For the most part they were friendly and just like me in some respects even though they may have different backgrounds. They were people. With the same thoughts, feelings, wants and such, just like me.

It may have taken a few years, but I really began to question my upbringing and the church and such. I researched, read, inquired, made friends, and am glad to say that today I hold no prejudices against any race, religion, or sexual persuasions as, for the most part, people are generally good and just like you and me, but with different backgrounds.

That is why I am so thankful of having lived in Japan and attending an international University in Japan. I had friends from many countries, religions, and backgrounds and learned a lot from them.

Also, By feeling a little prejudice and discrimination in Japan I was better able to understand the plight of minorities in other countries as unless one actually feels and experiences direct prejudice and discrimination one can never quite grasp what it really feels like.

 

[Pachipro]

I thought with the Catholic Priesthood it is a case of 'do what I say not as I do'. When I was a teenager I was very anti-homosexual. As I have got older I have met and spoken to a lot of homo and bi-sexual people and it made me re-evaluate my opinion. Now it doesn't bother me. In some cases I think it perfectly natural to be attracted to a good looking man the same way you are attracted to a good looking woman. I don't think that it means you are gay. I'm not, but there are some good looking men about. I have had conversations with female friends about whether such and such is good looking or not and never had any strange looks or comments.

Thanks for pointing that Mycernius. I noticed that most women seem more comfortable with have feelings of bi-sexaul curiosity. But I think the reason why men don't admit these feelings as much, is because it's not encouraged. I know some guys have these sorts of feelings. In fact, I find it more interesting when a guy has these feelings. I don't know why I just do. I remember one time, I was having a discussion with one of my mail friends. He even pointed out the fact that yes men have bi-sexaul feelings. They just won't admit it.

Very well put and it is a fact. I also, due to my Catholic upbringing was serverly homophobic and believed they were sinners. Today I have completely the opposite view. Many men are attracted (maybe not in a sexual way) to a good looking man, but because of their upbringing/background they will never admit it. Although I myself have never had an experience with someone of my own gender I have thought about it and do find some men good looking in the same way I would a woman. Does that mean I am bi or gay? No not at all. I am just being honest which most will never do. It's almost like asking a group of men if they ever masturbate . 90% will say no. Those 90% are liars as even though they do it, they will never admit it. I say lighten up!

One thing I have found strange is that I know a lot more bi-sexual women than men and most women seem comfortable with homo or bi-sexuality in women, but are replused by homosexuality in men.

I've also noticed that with some of my female friends. I wonder why that is? Any ladies out there care to comment?

 

[Ma Cherie]

I wouldn't know, I've never had those feelings, either.