Help with Yuinou no gi

[Rakesh]

Hello to everyone and thanks in advance!

First things first, sorry about the haisty introduction and sorry if I'm doubleposting, necroposting, or using any other kind of bunny killing technique.

Well, I basicaly ended up in this forum out of sheer desesperation. My brother is getting married to a pretty cute japanese chick.

So far, so good, right?

Well, here's where things get a little hairy.

Her family is a very traditional one from the Aomori prefecture, so on september we both gotta go and perform a Yuinou no gi. Now, I just found out about the whole thing yesterday (yes, even about the marriage, go brother). So I've been all over the internet searching for how he's supposed to ask for her hand.

Now, one of the first things I found out is the fact that supposedly it's our side of the family the one who's supposed to organize the whole thing, and that it's the mother of the bride the one that's doing it instead of us.

You might think it's silly, but well, we both feel strongly about the girl and we know just how important first impressions are and well, we wanna make a good fisrt impression, or at least a decent one.
We just don't wanna be seen as a pair of barbarian hillbillies. Now considering it's a very traditional family we realise there's a very slim chance we can actualy pull it off, but heck, why not try?

So here I am, turning to you and asking for help, what I've found about the 7 presents or something so far has me confused (dry fish? now that's gonna be a fun thing to explain in the airport), so considering it's a traditional family from aomori (I've also found out it can vary from region to region), could someone explain to me in layman terms what are supposed to do?
Oh, I also think they're buddist, at least I know they hold buddist funeral rites, but I don't know if the wedding is going to be onna shinto shire or not.

I'm happy just going to japan, heck, while I'm there I'm gonna try and see if I can get lost and visit some of the sites or something (SO looking forward to a dip in the spa's of the "mountain of dread", I mean, they have to be awesome with a name like that )

So.

Anyhow.

Help?

Pretty please?

 

[epigene]

First, you should know that NOT ALL JAPANESE know about "yuino-no-gi," let alone more common protocol for important events in life, especially among urban dwellers like me.

If the bride-to-be comes from Aomori Prefecture and a family with long family history at that, they most likely do things that we in Tokyo don't know at all.

So, to sum up, relax!

You and your brother being foreigners is a very big and valid excuse for not knowing anything about the ceremony. I urge you to just admit that you don't know anything and ask the girl and her relatives and show you're interested to learn. I'm pretty sure that they would be delighted to teach you.

Just show your enthusiasm and love for her and her family and go with the flow!! Good luck!

PS I forgot to add that "yuino-no-gi" is a prenuptial ceremony of exchanging gifts between the families of the bride and bridegroom (usually symbolic items representing happiness and fertility of the new couple). Whether they are expensive or not--I don't know, because it depends on what the ceremony is like in the tradition of the bride's family...

 

[Rakesh]

Oh, we know they know we don't know. The mother LOVES that fact.

We did ask the girl but she ain't so sure either, it seems it's the mother the one we've gotta pull through.

The thing is, well, er, she doesn't likes us that much and for what I know she is going to use every oportunity to scorn our hides alive. The thing is, well, my brother is a foriner and she's already having a hard time with that. And I'm black, and for what I've seen that's slightly worse than being a rapist for some reason. She is THAT kind of old fashioned family.

So well, we where sort of trying to score some points. I mean, she basicaly spects us to pee in the pond and eat the food from the altar and to ridiculize us for it.

But oh well, if it aint that big of a deal I guess I'm just overreacting. It's just I got a pretty big impression when I met the mum. I know some japanese, she aint aware of that, and she used some, er, colourfull language to describe us (She wasn't very nice).

Anyways, you have taken quite the burden from my shoulders, we where basicaly freaking out about the whole thing. (I'm still freaking out about the fact my freaking brother is getting married and I just found out).

So, cheers anyways!

Oh, by the way, It seems to be confirmed it's going to be a shinto style wedding, anything I should know?