Help with my Jiko shoukai

[Wonderland]

Hi all, I start a course in Japanese on the 2nd of next month and worryingly they have asked me to prepare a short introduction (in Japanese if I can).

Some fiddling and internet searching has allowed me to put together the following:

Namae wa Jay Green desu. Ni-shichi sai desu. Doncaster de umaremashita. Ni sen ni Lancaster Daigaku o sotsugyo shimashita. Control enjinia ni narimashita. Computa game ga suki desu ga. Kuruma ga suki desu ga. Watashi no Nissan 200sx desu.

Am I going to be facing a panel of confused looks or does that make some sort of sense? Anything I should really add, bear in mind it doesn't have to be too flash as they haven't actually taught me anything yet

Many thanks.

 

[Elizabeth]

Watashi no namae wa Jay Green desu. Ni juu (nana) sai (27, correct?) desu. Doncaster (is this a city?) de umaremashita. Ni nen mae ni Lancaster Daigaku o sotsugyo shimashita. Control enjinia ni narimashita. Computa game to kuruma ga suki desu. Watashi no Nissan wa 200sx desu.

 

[Wonderland]

Many thanks for that.

Out of interest, what is the literal translation of "Ni nen mae ni", a quick web search reckoned mae meant before so I'm a bit confused. I assume the sentence reads something like "then I graduated from Lancaster University" instead.

 

[Glenn]

I suppose "two years before," but I think it should be four years before, right? You graduated in 2000? I guess you could say ni maru maru maru nen (eh, maybe not) or ni sen nen. At any rate, if you are giving a specific year, you need to put nen in there to show that.

 

[Elizabeth]

I suppose "two years before," but I think it should be four years before, right? You graduated in 2000? I guess you could say ni maru maru maru nen (eh, maybe not) or ni sen nen. At any rate, if you are giving a specific year, you need to put nen in there to show that.

Either one or the other. It looks like I was in kind of a hurry and assumed sen had been a typo for 'nen.'

２０００に、という言い方はありません
２０００年に、と言ってください。

 

[Scrivener]

For "born" I would tend to say "Umare wa Doncaster desu" (umare is "birthplace")
For "job" I would tend to say "Control Engineer toshite tsutomete imasu" (toshite means "as", tsutomeru means "work")
For "in 2000" you say "nisen nen ni" (nisen is 2000, nen is year")
For "my car is a..." you say "watashi no kuruma wa ... desu"

You can use Subject + wa/ga + predicate + desu for heaps of things.
- shigoto (= job) wa engineer desu
- computer game ga suki desu
- kuruma wa nissan desu
- umare wa doncaster desu
If you get stuck fall back on that! You are doing well for a beginner!

 

[Wonderland]

Just to recap then, and provide a copy of what I want to say (which should really have been in the first message).

Watashi no namae wa Jay Green desu.

My name is Jay Green.

Ni juu nana sai desu.

I am 27

Doncaster de umaremashita.

I was born in Doncaster

Ni sen nen Lancaster Daigaku o sotsugyo shimashita

In 2000 I graduated from Lancaster University.

Control enjinia ni narimashita.

My job is as a control engineer.

Computa game to kuruma ga suki desu.

I like computer games and cars.

Watashi no Nissan wa 200sx desu.

I have a Nissan 200sx

Thanks for all the help so far. I can see that this board will be an invaluable resource in the coming months

 

[Scrivener]

Control enjinia ni narimashita.
- means: "I became a control engineer"

Watashi no Nissan wa 200sx desu.
- means: "My Nissan is a 200sx"

I gave alternatives above.

Hope you enjoy learning Japanese. Japanese is the most fun language I know of, especially due to the politeness levels. They are a pain when you first come across them, but later they are really interesting and expressive.

 

[Glenn]

Ni sen nen Lancaster Daigaku o sotsugyo shimashita

There should be a ni after nen, to mark that it was in that year that you graduated. Also, correctly it should be sotsugyou. So here is the final version: Ni sen nen ni Lancaster daigaku o sotsugyou shimashita.

 

[Wonderland]

Okay, spot on. Thanks all, I might break up the monotony of my intro a bit by using some of those alternatives Scrivener, cheers.

This will be the most prepared I've ever showed up for anything and that includes my job interview

I like the whole idea of Japanese not being based on Latin or Greek so you're learning a completely new method of expression. Anyways, I'm off topic so thanks all, I'll post to say how it went when I get back on the 4th.

 

[Pox]

Watashi no Nissan wa 200sx desu.

I have a Nissan 200sx

For some reason, I think this sentence should be translated into
"Watashi no notteiru(or motteiru) kuruma wa Nissan no 200sx desu.".

"watashi no Nissan wa 200sx desu." is strange to my ears.

Edit:
「私の日産（Nissan）は～～です」と聞くと、
その国の人は当然日産の車に乗っているという風に聞こえてしまいます。
「私の血液型（Blood type）は～～です」とか、「私の年齢（age）は～～です」というのは正しい（全員、血液型や年齢は持っているから）のですが、車とかのように、全員が日産に乗っているとは限らない場合には普通使いません。すいません、全部は英語に訳せませんでした。誰かこの日本語が読める方、英語に直して頂けないでしょうか？

When we Japanese hear "watashi no Nissan", we think, in your country, all persons(or almost all persons) have Nissan.

 

[Glenn]

「私の日産（Nissan）は～～です」と聞くと、
その国の人は当然日産の車に乗っているという風に聞こえてしまいます。
「私の血液型（Blood type）は～～です」とか、「私の年齢（age）は～～です」というのは正しい（全員、血液型や年齢は持っているから）のですが、車とかのように、全員が日産に乗っているとは限らない場合には普通使いません。すいません、全部は英語に訳せませんでした。誰かこの日本語が読める方、英語に直して頂けないでしょうか？

Sure, I'll do my best.

"When I hear watashi no Nissan wa ~~ desu, I think that everyone in that country has a Nissan. It's correct to say watashi no ketsueki-gata wa ~~ desu or watashi no nenrei wa ~~ desu (because everyone has a blood type or an age), but when talking about cars, unless everyone has a Nissan I normally wouldn't say watashi no Nissan wa ~~ desu."

After that is asking someone to translate into English.

 

[Pox]

Thanks a lot, Glenn-san!
That translation is exactly what I wanted to say!

 

[Elizabeth]

I can see why the original sentence is awkward -- it would be the same in English, assumpting the listener knows already you have a Nissan as a basis for giving further information on it.

But in this case why not a more direct statement to the effect `Nissan no 200sx wo motte imasu.` ?

 

[j0k0m0]

thanks a lot, really

 

[Pox]

I can see why the original sentence is awkward -- it would be the same in English, assumpting the listener knows already you have a Nissan as a basis for giving further information on it.

But in this case why not a more direct statement to the effect `Nissan no 200sx wo motte imasu.` ?

Sorry for my ignorance. In your country, Nissan is popular?
Not to mention, saying "Nissan no 200sx wo motte imasu" assumes
that everyone knows Nissan is a car manufacturer.
If everyone has the assumption, I think your statement "Nissan no 200sx wo motte imasu" is the good one.

 

[Scrivener]

needs the assumption(premise?Which one is better?)

Normally you would say "assumes that..."
e.g. "saying X assumes that everyone knows Y"

 

[Pox]

thanks!
I edited my previous post.