My name is Cassie and I stumbled across Jref not long ago and was struck by the brilliant idea to find a penpal. There are some things about Japan that you can only learn from a native. Anyone that's interested, let me know. I warn you, I have only just started to learn Japanese and I'm self taught. There's a serious lack of formal classes in the midwest US. I'm a Jrock enthusiast, so similar music interests might be a conversation boost!
You are right about having similar interests. I used to have an Australian penpal when I was in Junior high. We had very little in common and it made it tough to come up with things to write about. I would write to him about books I had read and he would respond with "that sounds interesting" and move onto describing a football game, to which I'd reply with my own, "wow, that sounds interesting" and I would move onto something else that he had no interest in.... lol
Anyway, this place is full of JRock fans (you HAVE seen the music section, right?) so I am sure you will find plenty of people who share your passion for androgynous men in make-up.
Also, you might want to check out the classifieds where there is a personals section you can post penpal requests.