Eight words and women

Mycernius

The Hairy Wookie
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ENJOY 🙂

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?



He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!


He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.


He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don't have time


He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.


He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.


She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.


He said ... . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

:-)
 
Very good.
However being the epitome of a modern man, none of those apply to me!

(If you believe that...)
 
He said......Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said......That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male...Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

I find these, the most ammusing. :-) Omoshiroi!
 
Mycernius said:
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

So true! It is a throwback from your hunter-gatherer days! :D

Mycernius said:
He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

True! My husband weighed 9 1/2 stone when I met him. He now weighs 14! I am a good cook! 😊
 
Here's a couple

11. INTIMACY
female: sharing the bed
male: sharing a common value system

12. FULFILLMENT
female: to be able to look back and say, "I had fun."
male: to be able to look back and say, "I did my work."

13. SUCCESS
female: to enjoy the maximum pleasure and comfort possible
male: to meet a goal as planned

14. SOLIDARITY
female: to bind the hubbie in every possible way
male: to steal away with buddies on a hunting trip

15. PRIVACY
female: time & space unhindered by non-family
male: time & space unhindered by family

16. A GOOD MEAL
female: gourmet delicacy
male: a ton of what he likes

17. QUALITY TIME
female: time with the in-laws
male: fixing plumbing with decent tools

18. A GOOD MOVIE
female: romantic drama
male: heart-bursting action, thriller, suspense, adventure, or horror

19. CRAVING
female: the latest everything
male: turning off the shopping channel

20. THE GREATEST GIFT
female: a diamond ring
male: power tools or a pointer
 
lol @ Lex :D

People are obsessed with buying me DIY tools (both power and, err, non-power). I think it's just the novelty of finding a woman who actually *uses* those things :eek: I dunno - are they expecting a demo or something? :winklove:
 
Lexico - I never had you pegged for a chauvinist! By your definitions I am about 70% man! I don't know how to feel about that, though I was a tomboy!
 
Tusyoiko, I never played with dolls like Mr. Anderson; hope that doesn't stigmatise me as a chauvinist boar ! I might have got mixed up on some of the characterisations... sorry, still unsure where I belong. I could never figure out why I fantasised about having a baby like Arnie in the movie. :D
 
lexico said:
Tusyoiko, I never played with dolls like Mr. Anderson; hope that doesn't stigmatise me as a chauvinist boar ! I might have got mixed up some on some of the sexual characterisations... sorry, still unsure where I belong. I could never figure out why I fantasised about having a baby like Arnie in the movie. :D

Lexico you are so funny I could put up with you even as a chauvinist! 👍
 
Tsuyoiko said:
Lexico - I never had you pegged for a chauvinist! By your definitions I am about 70% man! I don't know how to feel about that, though I was a tomboy!

i`d square :banghead: :box:
 
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