Could someone check these sentences for me please.

nalo6451 · 4 Feb 2018

Hi guys, could someone check these sentences for me? I'll write in English what I intend to say and below I'll have the Japanese. Please let me know if the translation is incorrect anywhere or sounds unnatural to a native Japanese speaker

I've actually been to Japan before. About one and a half years ago I went to Japan and made Japanese friends. While I was there, every day was really fun. That's why I would like to work in Japan.

じつは、日本にいったことがあります。二年まえ日本にいきまして、日本人友達をつくりました。そこにいるま、毎日がたのしかったです。だから、私はほんっとに日本ではたらきです。

Toritoribe · 4 Feb 2018

"One and a half years" is not "two years".
いきまして is not wrong, but sounds too polite. 行って is more common.
日本人友達 doesn't work well.
The reading of 間 is あいだ there. Or かん is also used for formal situation or in written language. You can avoid misreading by using the kanji 間 instead of hiragana ま.
ほんっとに is too slangy.
はたらき is a noun in はたらきです. You are not "action/work/activity/function/effect".

nalo6451 · 4 Feb 2018

Toritoribe said:
"One and a half years" is not "two years".

oops, forgot to change that before posting...

Toritoribe said:
いきまして is not wrong, but sounds too polite. 行って is more common.
日本人友達 doesn't work well.
The reading of 間 is あいだ there. Or かん is also used for formal situation or in written language. You can avoid misreading by using the kanji 間 instead of hiragana ま.
ほんっとに is too slangy.
はたらき is a noun in はたらきです. You are not "action/work/activity/function/effect".

Okay I've had another go at it. Does this look more appropriate?

じつは、日本にいったことがあります。一年半まえ日本にいって、日本の友達をつくりました。そこにいる間、毎日がたのしかったです。だから、私は日本ではたらきたいです。

Also, for the bit I highlighted in bold, would this read as: そこにいるあいだ? I haven't actually learned learned this phrase properly but I really want to be able to say "while there/while I was there".

Thanks a lot.

nalo6451 · 4 Feb 2018

nalo6451 said:
would this read as: そこにいるあいだ?
Thanks a lot.

I meant to ask would this be spoken as: そこにいるあいだ?

Toritoribe · 4 Feb 2018

Perfect! You can also use 日本人の友達.

nalo6451 said:
I meant to ask would this be spoken as: そこにいるあいだ?

Yes.

nalo6451 · 5 Feb 2018

Hi again, I have a follow up question. If I wanted to say "regarding my hobbies: I like fitness, music, gaming and hanging out with friends" would the following sentence be accurate/sound normal?

趣味について、フィットネス, 音楽、ゲームそして、友達と遊ぶのが好きです。

Thanks again.

Toritoribe · 5 Feb 2018

趣味についてですが、 or 趣味についていえば、 is more appropriate. The rest is OK.

Could someone check these sentences for me please.

nalo6451

Kouhai

Toritoribe

松葉解禁

nalo6451

Kouhai

nalo6451

Kouhai

Toritoribe

松葉解禁

nalo6451

Kouhai

Toritoribe

松葉解禁

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