Can japanese men become "super dads"?

[Han Chan]

A japanese NPO "Fathering Japan" wants japanese men to take their role as fathers more serious - is this a new trend?

Can japanese men really become ﾂ"super dadsﾂ"?:

:?


TOKYO (Reuters) Thu Sep 13, 11:36 AM ET

Daddy exam quizzes men on potties, parenting

- "Who played the father in the movie 'Kramer versus Kramer'?"
That's one of the 50 questions Japanese men could face in a "daddy exam," meant to raise awareness about fatherhood in a country where men tend to work long hours and leave their wives in charge of childcare and household chores.
Even men who remember Dustin Hoffman struggling as a father in the movie may have a hard time answering questions ranging from potty training and baby food to politics, such as the percentage of gross domestic product used for parenting support.
Tatsuya Ando, director of Fathering Japan, a Tokyo non-profit organization that came up with the test and will offer it to eager dads from next March, said the exam was a catchy way to get fathers into parenting.
"There just isn't enough information about parenting for fathers. Through the exam, we want men to realize that they don't know anything about child-rearing," he said.
For the price of 3,900 yen ($34), fathers can find out whether they qualify as a "Super Dad," or are in need of more effort as a "Challenge Dad."
"We have received inquiries from fathers, single men, to-be-dads, grandfathers ... even an aunt who was concerned that her nephew is too busy with work to notice the fun of parenting," Ando said.
The image of fathers is gradually changing in Japan as younger men eschew their own dads' hands-off approach in favor of closer involvement, and a wave of new parenting magazines for male readers has been hitting newsstands.
But it is still hard for Japanese fathers to cut down on their work hours and spend more time with their families. Only 0.5 percent of employed men in Japan took parental leave in 2005, as opposed to 14 percent in the United States and 12 percent in Britain in 2000.

 

[nice gaijin]

3900 yen to take a quiz designed to make you fail? How about giving these guys useful ideas for balancing work and spending time with their kids, instead of just convincing them that they know nothing about parenting.

 

[SushiShin]

okay this is weird, whats the next question how to change dips. of babies? or what do when a child cries, how to control your child?

this is wicked paying to fail! i state the opinion of nice gaijin.

 

[dragonmaycry2]

its mostly common sence but there are trial and tribulations

 

[Mars Man]

I didn't get around to seeing this the other day. The general way of going about getting the awareness out there, sounds so Japanese, in a way--I mean the 'test' format. . .and that it costs rather being for free. However, here in Japan, that wouldn't be so out of the norm, so. . .

Now, one advantage, actually--and the Japanese love this kind of thing--is that if the test taker can get a second chance at the test (and that is also very likely possible, as the other various tests work that way too) and if then (and it's very likely) passes, he has a certificate that he is of 'superdad' material. THAT. . . is another trump card to be usable in winning that girl's hand in marriage. It could also be simply something to boast of at the wedding party--as the girls often boast (not directly, but through the person who speaks of her on her behalf) of having studied flower arrangement, English, koto, or so on.

I fully agree that quality fathership involvement is too greatly lacking in this country, but am aware of a good degree of improvement over the state when I first arrived here. I always encourage the guy students who I have the chance to counsel on such marriage matters, to work on the fathership attributes. It mostly just means fully grasping the understanding that housework is community work--that is. . . it's not work that is assigned to one of the sexes--and that raising children is too.

There have been two threads of late which touch on the major hinderence to this most hoped for balanced state; being namely, the insanity of the sacrifice ideology of oraganized work arena.

I hope the concept giving more thought to quality and quantity involvment with children and family grows stronger and stronger here.

 

[bakaKanadajin]

Most men don't know squat about child-rearing when it comes time for their first born. They may learn a few things as they study-up with their wives, they may have even read a few good books by the time that magical day comes around, but I don't think paternal ineptitude is culturally specific.

Now if you're talking about the cultivation of a softer, gentler, stay-at-home dad who takes care of the nurturing and TLC a baby and toddler needs during its crucial first few years, that's something far more complex that EVERYONE, not just dads, learn as they go. All any individual needs for that is love and attentiveness. Again, I don't think any one culture is specifically disadvantaged here.

I think the one stigma that plays into this culturally is the patriarchal structure of Japanese society, where the abovementioned duties are scoffed at as non masculine and 'woman's work'. That attitude clearly has to change if you want some kind of 'super dad' revolution. Aside from that, I've witnessed many Japanese men and their wives (family included, not just strangers) who love their kids and share in all the joy and tenderness. My cousins husband for example can't wait to get home and play with their newborn. Even my Uncle, her father, as gruff and masculine as he is, can't help expressing his love in his own quirky ways.

 

[Mars Man]

Yes, I agree far more than not, although I would still tend more so to see the essence of what comes out of that last paragraph as being evidence for a cultural matter's very possibly being at the heart of it. Even if that were to mean or involve any tendency to reject change due to what has been instilled in a group's mental fabric due to what boils down to a cultural matter--in this case, for example, say Confucianistic character input from of old.

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

It all varies from person to person. I'd also claim that there's a difference between "father" and "dad", but that's getting too abstractly semantic. Anyway, this isn't something that is second-nature to men, but it also isn't hard to learn. I've been watching my neice and interacting with her on a daily basis (I live in the same house as my sister) and have done a lot to help raise the kid, although she's not my daughter. Nevertheless, these are things that, for me, came easily with practice, but they were definitely not second-nature. The key is practice and getting used to doing it.

By the way, I still hate poopie-diapers. Eww.

 

[White Girl]

I don't think they're going to help families by shoving a bunch of useless facts about child-rearing down their throat. While helpful in some ways, I think it's much better to cut down work hours and promote more closeness with the wife, and they'll pick up on family things better then. If I want my husband to do something that only wives know how to do usually, then I'll show him how to do it myself. I don't need some suspicious testing organization to do that... It's not that complicated.

I actually find things like this rather annoying--it's like, I had a prenatal appointment the other day and we were discussing who can be in the room when I'm in labor, and I want my husband to be able to be in there around the time of the birth...but they said they don't allow it unless he takes some ridiculous class where they basically teach him how to help the doctors administer the birth! I definitely don't want him doing that, I just want him STANDING there to tell me it's ok when the nurses are out for a second, or leaving the room if things get too nasty. We don't NEED any complicated courses where he learns how to cut the umbilical cord or whatever (I'm exaggerating, I don't think they go THAT far...then again, I could be wrong).

But if someone really wants to take a test about parenting and it makes them feel like a great parent, well hey, more power to you. It's just definitely not my or my husband's thing. You can't learn love and caring through a test.

 

[tokapi]

Japanese men need to balance work & family life,spend more leisure times at home.

 

[chambguy]

If you consider special issue, you can watch Japanese shows called Big Daddy.
But in general it is about working condition in Japan. Almost all the office workers are expected to leave the office at least at 8 PM. But it is not common, in general they expect you to stay at office until 10 PM. Then after that you still have responsibility to drink with your colleagues or business partners.
And if you think that Japanese is working really hard, you are wrong. Their days usually start at 10 AM. After checking email they will prepare materials for small group meeting which will last about half to one hours. Then they will pretend to be busy until lunch break. After lunch they will have other meetings with other groups/consumers/business partners. And then it will be around 6 PM or longer.
After that the real work begins. So, Japanese starts working after the end of the office hours. That's why they can stay in the office until 10 PM.
And what if there is no afternoon meeting? They will pretend to be busy until 10 PM to avoid being badmouthed by their colleagues and wives.