Facebook photos go too far?

[Tsuyoiko]

My husband's mate has a date tomorrow night and was showing a photo of the girl from her Facebook. She is posing in her underwear with her hands clasped behind her head; I'm sure you know the kind of pose I mean. He thinks he met this girl in a bar at the weekend, but only really knows her from her friend invite on Facebook. My husband showed me the photo last night; it's just a profile photo, available for anyone to see.

Personally I think it's going too far. I'm no prude; I let my husband have a tasteful naked photo of me on his phone. But letting just anyone see a photo of you in your underwear...The first thought that comes to my mind is that her dad might see it ☝

My husband and I both felt the same; that she is giving the impression of being "easy", and that that's not a very good way to earn anyone's respect.

What do you think about this? Is it harmless self-confidence? Or is it going too far?

 

[Jericho Desu]

Except for a girl I know who does it for art I don't know any girls with major self-confidence that do that, mainly because they're confident enough in themselves not to do that, however since I don't know the girl I can't say for sure. In this day and age we see alot of that sort of thing so its no longer that surprising, but in my opinion girls like that have no self-respect, granted I'm still a guy and seeing girls in their underwear is not exactly what I would call horrible, but it's still going too far.

 

[Haruspex]

My husband and I both felt the same; that she is giving the impression of being "easy", and that that's not a very good way to earn anyone's respect.

But then isn't that what she actually wants?

 

[Tsuyoiko]

But then isn't that what she actually wants?

I suppose. I guess I have no logical reason for finding it distasteful.

 

[FrustratedDave]

I suppose. I guess I have no logical reason for finding it distasteful.

Taste is a personal thing, you have every right to find it distasteful.

 

[Chidoriashi]

Taste is a personal thing, you have every right to find it distasteful.

Exactly, if you don't like it; you don't like it. It is not like you not liking it infringes upon her freedom to be that way.

 

[AJBryant]

This thread is useless without pictures.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

Taste is a personal thing, you have every right to find it distasteful.

I do, but I prefer to avoid emotional responses. I always analyse my reactions. In this case if I try to come up with some unemotional reason for my distaste I just end up in some slippery slope argument that doesn't hold up.

I guess I have to say she's doing no harm.

 

[Half-n-Half]

I do, but I prefer to avoid emotional responses. I always analyse my reactions.

I tend to do the same Tsuyoiko, but that shouldn't stop you from expressing your emotions. Emotions are a part of being human, and they apparently have some use in the evolutionary chain to get us this far, right? In my mind it's OK and even healthy to analyze your emotions, but in my opinion once you go down that path you'll soon find that a lot of your emotions have no logical reasoning behind them as you have just demonstrated. It's OK to express your distaste for her pictures even if you don't see a logical reason why you feel the way you do. We are emotional and opinionated beings so why deny what you are? And you shouldn't always feel pressured to defend your emotions with a logical argument. As Dave and Chidoriashi have pointed out, you like what you like.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

And you shouldn't always feel pressured to defend your emotions with a logical argument. As Dave and Chidoriashi have pointed out, you like what you like.

I agree that I don't always need to defend my emotions. I don't need to explain why I love my husband or why John Cho makes me go weak at the knees or why bunnies are the cutest things I ever saw. But in trying to decide between right and wrong I think it's important to analyse one's emotional reactions.

Although my first reaction was that appearing on Facebook in your underwear is wrong, I don't think I can sensibly defend that opinion. The furthest I can go is to say that I personally wouldn't do it

 

[Emoni]

But then isn't that what she actually wants?

Some people are like this, and you can find that out through Facebook. I try not to be too judgmental, but... it's hard not to make a judgment call about the person's behavior.

What I worry about though is people getting pictures, either by accident or just when you did something stupid and then POSTING it, and taging you in it without asking or your permission. I've never had this problem myself, but I can imagine that this would happen. A bad smile, a weird looking pose of a picture taken at the wrong time, or even doing something you regret. I'm certain it happens constantly. Maybe even an angry ex-something with pictures that were supposed to be private.

That's what I would be concerned with.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

What I worry about though is people getting pictures, either by accident or just when you did something stupid and then POSTING it, and taging you in it without asking or your permission.

I've known this to happen. An IRC friend of my husband's sent naked pictured to her boyfriend, who shared them on IRC after they split.

 

[Haruspex]

Reason and right are being confused here. We all enjoy the right to find it abhorrent, but we have no reason to.

Some people are like this, and you can find that out through Facebook. I try not to be too judgmental, but... it's hard not to make a judgment call about the person's behavior.

Well, they annoy the hell out of me too but then I just say to myself 'They're people I couldn't give a toss about anyway, so why bother?'