Scared of the dentist

[Tokis-Phoenix]

I know this probably sounds stupid to a lot of you guys, but i have a real fear of going to the dentist.


When i was a young child, i had excellent teeth, however after some heartbreakingly tragic events in my life, my care for stuff like my teeth went downhill a bit. When i was a teenager i became a great deal better at looking after my teeth, however when i went to college i was very skint/poor and at times i couldn't even afford toothpaste. I hadn't seen the dentist for years at that point, and a few years after that i started to get nightmarishly bad tooth aches even though i had been looking after my teeth well for years by that point then.

Anyways, i had to have a lot of fillings done at that point, and it was agonizingly painful. I know my dentist is quite good and caring, but i have a rare/uncommon condition where my body does not take well to anesthetic, meaning that it only barely works even when i have very high doses of the stuff. So a lot of the fillings had to be done with me on 3-5times the full adult dose of anesthetic even though it felt like i was only on half a child dose of the stuff.
It was a horrible time.
At first i had a lot of courage getting the fillings done all those years ago, but because i had to get so much work done i had to keep in coming for follow-up appointments. The extreme pain of the tooth ache and the extreme pain of the fillings started to take its toll on me and i became more and more fearful of the dentist.

Anyways, this was many years ago now, but my fear of the dentist is no better than now than what it was all those years ago. I've had a few visits to the dentist over the years since, however its been over a year and a half now since i last went to the dentist.
I know i am way over-due for an appointment, however i've been holding it off partly out of fear and also because my teeth have showed no obvious problems, haven't had any tooth ache or anything like that.

But i noticed today that a few of my teeth are ever so slightly wobbly- they barely even move a mm, however they still move and i'm not happy about it. I think i have gum disease, the only symptom i have of it is that sometimes my gums bleed when i brush my teeth. I don't think my gums are as full as they should be either (i used to brush my gums/teeth too hard in the past)- after reading up on gum disease a little bit, it turns out that receded/ing gums can lead to slightly wobbly teeth (since its the gum that holds the tooth in place) and i believe this is the case with mine- info taken from here;

http://www.shrimptondental.co.uk/prevention.html


I know this is a major sign that i should go to the dentist and get a check up on my teeth and advice as to what to do about my gums, but i'm just too scared to right now. One of my biggest fears in life is to having missing teeth though- i don't want to loose my teeth, so i know i should catch these problems in the bud and deal with them now rather than later.
I'm scared that she'll pick up problems i haven't noticed in my teeth (i don't think there's any problems other than the gum thing), and that i'll have to go in for more dental work.
But i just can't forget that time when i got all the fillings done. Its unimaginably excruciatingly painful when you are having you tooth drilled and the drill cuts into the root/nerve when the anesthetic hasn't worked properly- sometimes i wondered why i even bothered with the anesthetic since it rarely worked (and when it did work it worked poorly). I'm terrified of having more fillings done, i can barely open my mouth for my dentist to let her look inside, i'm scared she'll hurt me with her tools.


I feel like such an idiot/so stupid. I think to myself "look, you're an adult, why are you so scared of the dentist?". I feel so alone with this, i don't want to see the dentist again, i don't have the courage...

But i need the courage. I just don't know how to find it/feel it. I want to go to the dentist because i know i need to go to the dentist, but i'm scared i will have more painful experiences which will only put me off going to the dentist in the future even more.

Am i alone here with my fear of the dentist? Does anybody else suffer from this? Does anyone know how/where i can find the courage to go to the dentist?

I need help ...

 

[Mycernius]

Your not the only one who doen't like going to the dentist. I didn't go for 16 years and it wasn't until a tooth fell apart that made me go. Fortunately I managed to get one (if your not in the UK then you might not understand that) and I had to end up getting root canal and a cap. Luckily there wasn't too much else wrong. I now go regular every six months for a check-up and every three for the hygienist. I don't want my teeth getting into that state again. She is a good dentist too.

The reason I don't like the dentist is that when I was a kid my dentist never used anesthetic for fillings. I dreaded going. Then when I was 13 I had to have four permanent teeth removed. He did use anesthetic then, but didn't wait for it to take effect. Needless to say he was eventually struck off (first time. Second time a few years later). When I was 15 I had a gold cap put on a chipped tooth (caused by a car), but that was doen by another dentist. After 16 they bought in charges and I couldn't be bothered to pay, hence leaving it for a further 16 years.

After returning and forking out over 250 quid for root canal and a cap I prefer to pay rather than be a cheapstake. I still don't like going to the dentist, but 15 quid every three months is better than a large bill.

This also reminds me of a friend, if you blanche at paying the money. He lives in the states. He is coming back to the UK to get his teeth done as it is still cheaper for him to go private here rather than in the US.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

The money aspect is fine for me, i don't mind paying for dental work. But its just the fear of pain that freaks me out, almost every time i been to the dentist over the last it has been quite painful. I just don't just don't want to feel anymore pain...

I've had the same dentist for my entire life. I think she is quite good, however, because i have never been to any other dentist i cannot compare her against other dentists, so i guess for all i know she could actually be pretty bad.
I've thought about trying out a different dentist, however my current one knows my teeth better than anyone else, and i'm worried that letting some other dentist knock up my teeth could turn out to be an even more painful experience (especially considering that my current dentist knows and understands my anesthetic problem, but other dentists might not so well).

I guess i just need to pluck up the courage for this kind of stuff- Its just so difficult to do so though..

 

[Sarapva]

I've been very lucky with my teeth in my life, only having had 4 cavities so far. I did have braces when I was a kid for about 3 years, and had to see an orthodontist every month to tighten the braces. That was painful and I couldn't eat properly for a day afterward. I also had to have 4 permanent teeth taken out before the braces because the dentist said I had too many teeth (!) and a small mouth.

But I have always been pretty obsessive about taking care of my teeth, flossing once a day and brushing twice a day. Flossing is important for gums - you didn't say whether you used dental floss, TP - when you first start using it, your gums bleed because it's getting rid of any infections that might be in your gums, but if you keep it up the gums get toughened.

My brother-in-law is a dentist, so I very luckily don't have to pay for dental work (and without medical insurance in the U.S. that would be very expensive - hopefully we'll have national health before too long), but I still don't go as often as they suggest. I haven't been for about 2 years now. But the last filling I had was probably about 15 years ago, so I'm not worried about it!

I hope I'm not making you feel worse, TP - that's a really unfortunate thing to not be affected by the anesthetic. Is there some way they could put you out completely, or would that not work, either? Are there different kinds of anesthetics you could experiment with? Do you know which ones don't work? It might help to do some research on anesthetics, or at least the phenomenon of anesthetics not working and what alternatives there might be. In this modern age you shouldn't have to fear the dentist because of excruciating pain. Does your dentist know anything about different anethetics, etc.?

I'd be interested to know how things turn out for you. I'll ask my brother-in-law the next time I see him to see if he knows anything about this.

 

[nice gaijin]

Although your resistance to anesthesia gives you a pretty compelling rationale for your fear of dentists, dental phobia is pretty common. I was just at the hygienist today and I had to fill out a medical history form, and one of the questions on the form was whether I had a fear of going to the dentist. I have a very gentle dentist and have had mostly good experiences, so I don't have this problem.

Here are a couple websites that deal with the subject:
www.dentalfearcentral.org
www.dentalfear.com
www.dentalfear.net

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

Although your resistance to anesthesia gives you a pretty compelling rationale for your fear of dentists, dental phobia is pretty common. I was just at the hygienist today and I had to fill out a medical history form, and one of the questions on the form was whether I had a fear of going to the dentist. I have a very gentle dentist and have had mostly good experiences, so I don't have this problem.

Here are a couple websites that deal with the subject:
www.dentalfearcentral.org
www.dentalfear.com
www.dentalfear.net

Thanks for the links, i am looking through them right now, so much of what is said in the first link applies to me though, i think i have "dental anxiety", "dental fear" and "dental phobia".

I've been very lucky with my teeth in my life, only having had 4 cavities so far. I did have braces when I was a kid for about 3 years, and had to see an orthodontist every month to tighten the braces. That was painful and I couldn't eat properly for a day afterward. I also had to have 4 permanent teeth taken out before the braces because the dentist said I had too many teeth (!) and a small mouth.
But I have always been pretty obsessive about taking care of my teeth, flossing once a day and brushing twice a day. Flossing is important for gums - you didn't say whether you used dental floss, TP - when you first start using it, your gums bleed because it's getting rid of any infections that might be in your gums, but if you keep it up the gums get toughened.
My brother-in-law is a dentist, so I very luckily don't have to pay for dental work (and without medical insurance in the U.S. that would be very expensive - hopefully we'll have national health before too long), but I still don't go as often as they suggest. I haven't been for about 2 years now. But the last filling I had was probably about 15 years ago, so I'm not worried about it!
I hope I'm not making you feel worse, TP - that's a really unfortunate thing to not be affected by the anesthetic. Is there some way they could put you out completely, or would that not work, either? Are there different kinds of anesthetics you could experiment with? Do you know which ones don't work? It might help to do some research on anesthetics, or at least the phenomenon of anesthetics not working and what alternatives there might be. In this modern age you shouldn't have to fear the dentist because of excruciating pain. Does your dentist know anything about different anethetics, etc.?
I'd be interested to know how things turn out for you. I'll ask my brother-in-law the next time I see him to see if he knows anything about this.

I did try using dental floss but i hate the feeling of the stuff between my teeth, so i use mouth wash instead (although i probably don't use it as much as i should) even though it tastes foul (it feels/tastes like i'm washing my mouth out with bleach or some such similar thing) .

I have thought about the different use of anesthetics, i will do some research on it as you suggest .

 

[yumeitsumo]

Being scared of the dentist is like being scared to brush your teeth. Is there anyone here who is afraid of the dentist? This sounds kinda silly to me. I guess I could understand with the stuff they use to drill at your teeth.. but otherwise.. I'm baffled.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

Being scared of the dentist is like being scared to brush your teeth. Is there anyone here who is afraid of the dentist? This sounds kinda silly to me. I guess I could understand with the stuff they use to drill at your teeth.. but otherwise.. I'm baffled.

When your body is resistant to anesthetic and thus you've had extremely painful past experiences having your teeth drilled, then i think it is more understandable.
Seeing the dentist is nothing like brushing your own teeth- when you brush your own teeth, its not going to hurt and you can trust yourself to be careful and do a good job, but when you go to the dentist it can be very painful and you can never completely trust the dentist to not be clumsy with your teeth with their tools etc. Once you've had a few painful experiences with the dentist, your trust in their ability not to cause you pain starts to go downhill a lot.

 

[Mycernius]

Being scared of the dentist is like being scared to brush your teeth. Is there anyone here who is afraid of the dentist? This sounds kinda silly to me. I guess I could understand with the stuff they use to drill at your teeth.. but otherwise.. I'm baffled.

What a rather daft analogy. As Tokis pointed out she has suffered pain at the dentists. Because of that she doesn't want to put herself through that sort of pain again, hence a phobia about dentists becuse it is associated with pain, the same reason I don't really like the dentist. Pain at a young age affects your actions when you get older. Getting past phobias is not an easy thing to do.
Brushing your teeth is not painful, but if you had suffered severe pain when you were young by teeth brushing you would have a fear of it because your body remembers the pain and doesn't want to undergo that pain again.
I'm sure your afraid of things that other people find "silly".

 

[made of stone]

Firstly, imo, a fear of the dentist due to previous, extremely painful, experiences is one of the most rational of phobias.

Secondly, T-Phoenix, I realise that you asked me a question on another thread which i haven't yet been back to answer, but time is limited, and I wanted to post here with some advice about your gum problems first, so please bear with me on that other thread!

I've had some gum problems myself in the last few years, and more treatment recently, and so have come to be deeply interested in all things periodontal, and wanted to share with you a little of what i know.

I think i have gum disease, the only symptom i have of it is that sometimes my gums bleed when i brush my teeth. I don't think my gums are as full as they should be either (i used to brush my gums/teeth too hard in the past)- after reading up on gum disease a little bit, it turns out that receded/ing gums can lead to slightly wobbly teeth (since its the gum that holds the tooth in place) and i believe this is the case with mine- info taken from here;

As far as I understand it, bleeding gums is one of the classic signs of gum disease, and really a warning sign that you have to get your gums better before they get any worse.

I may be mistaken, but I thought that the ligaments and bone structure of the jaw hold the teeth in place? My dentist told me that as the gums recede further and further, the underlying bone structure also recedes, and the support of the teeth weakens. This leads to wobbly teeth (which are quite common) but eventual tooth loss in people with a tendency to gum disease, unfortunately, if the gum problems aren't addressed and corrected wherever possible.

I've also been told that for those with that tendency (such as myself - alas) need to observe a pretty strict 'maintenance' program to keep the gums as clean as possible, to ensure they keep their teeth for as long as possible (hopefully, until they die!)

That care does of course include flossing either daily or every other day, depending on the extent of the gum problems, (and, i suppose, how desperate you are to keep your own teeth!)

T-P chan, I understand your dislike of floss, but given the choice of flossing and/or using interdental brushes a few times a week for the next ten years, or starting to lose your teeth in ten years, which would you choose?

Once again, I understand your fear of the dentist, but I think your first course of action is to have a dental check up (remember, it's not surgery - nothing invasive, just a check up!) More important, maybe, is to have a clean and polish at the same time. If your gum problems are at an early stage, then just a regular clean may be enough to keep them healthy (along with making sure you're cleaning right etc) and that is also a non-invasive, and not painful, session (though not particularly pleasant, of course).

I don't know if your dentist is NHS or private. I used to be NHS, and the hygiene work was for only 15 minutes or so. Cheap but short! After I went private I found the hygienist sessions were about ﾂ≫??5 for 1/2 an hour, but that extra time really made the difference.

Please do go for a check up asap - the sooner the better. It does sound like you have a problem that needs to be addressed, and the longer you leave it, the bigger that problem will become (to possible eventual tooth loss). Then you would need far more treatment, and 'real' surgery possibly. Certainly if you did lose teeth and needed (wanted) implants to replace them that's a pretty big job, I guess.

All the best, please do put your health first

mos

 

[merevindur]

Tokis-Phoenix,

I don't like going to the dentist, and I do manage to take good care of my teeth thankfully, but I had about a year ago a receding gum that was very painful and it seriously needed filling, so in order for it to be clean enough and prevent any possible infection of the gum I used a certain mouthwash, not just Listerine or any of the other standard ones out there at the moment in pharmacies, I use Corsodyl - it is very effective, has a bit of an aftertaste which is why you take it after you have eaten.
It does work, but you do need to get to a dentist to have your teeth looked at as Mos says.

Good luck with your visit and try not to worry too much.

 

[Flashjeff]

Tokis: You're not alone. I've also been afraid of going to the dentist, pretty much for the same reasons, but my avoidance of same eventually led to problems that could've been avoided had I gone for regular check-ups, problems that resulted in not one, but two root canals last spring and the insertion of two crowns at a cost of nearly eight thousand dollars, but was cut down to $3,700 thanks to health insurance. You could look upon the dentist as a neccesary evil, but don't avoid it like I did, otherwise, serious problems could arise. I hope all goes well for you.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

...I've decided i'm going to arrange a check up- just a check up, no drilling or anything like that...just get my teeth checked out...I guess i can leave anytime i want, its not like i'm tied down to the dentists chair (although that could possibly be helpful at times)...

I'm going to try out using floss again- everyone here seems to say that its worth it. I'm also going to try that new Corsodyl mouth wash that merevindur suggested, i saw it on the adds the other day and it looks pretty good.

I'm just going to have to find courage. My dentist was NHS but she's now switched to private, so i will have to find where she is now.

Thanks for all your comments everyone, you've helped me a lot by talking stuff over with me .

 

[Tsuyoiko]

Ugh, I'm afraid of everything. I'm a total hypochrondriac, afraid of the doctor, dentist, optician, you name it. I'm afraid when I get an anaesthetic that it will get in my throat and stop me breathing. Now that's irrational LOL

Most of all I'm afraid of the optician. I should have gone last summer but I've been putting it off. Those guys can find some serious stuff and that scares the hell out of me.

 

[made of stone]

T-P chan I'm so glad you will book an appointment - as we've said, getting expert advice early (and especially, a session with the hygienist which isn't painful!) may well solve all your problems

Tokis-Phoenix,
...I used a certain mouthwash, not just Listerine or any of the other standard ones out there at the moment in pharmacies, I use Corsodyl - it is very effective, has a bit of an aftertaste which is why you take it after you have eaten.

A great tip there merevindur chan! I found Corsodyl in a large local supermarket. A quick warning, though. Don't eat or drink anything for an hour after using it - it's strong stuff, and will stain your tongue and teeth like you wouldn't believe! Also, the bottle recommends a 30 day course, but my dentist reckons they just say that
to sell more of the stuff (no surprise there, but that may be for another thread...) and that it should be used sparingly; just for a week or a time as necessary (i.e. probably best to get your dentist's advice).

If your dentist is private now make sure you get a specialist hygienist session at the same time when you book (generally here in the UK I think NHS dentists carry out that work themselves). I'd recommend mentioning when you book that you're worried about your gums, so they know what to look for and how to help you best

One last thought: flossing properly takes a certain skill. People can tell you how to do it, but it's best to be shown. Knowing I had a tendency to gum problems, I've long been very fastidious about my flossing, but when I went back to the dentist a few times they said 'you have to floss better'. I was flummoxed - I'd already been doing my best!

It turned out when I changed dentist that they hadn't been telling me how to do it properly. The new hygienist showed me how, and that interdental brushes and not floss (in some cases) were the only way to get the crevices between certain teeth as clean as a whistle everytime. The moral is (and one that's cost me many hundreds of pounds to rectify!): if you don't think you're getting all the help you need - and deserve! - then think about going elsewhere!!

best of luck - do be sure to make that appointment soon

mos

 

[Flashjeff]

Ugh, I'm afraid of everything. I'm a total hypochrondriac, afraid of the doctor, dentist, optician, you name it. I'm afraid when I get an anaesthetic that it will get in my throat and stop me breathing. Now that's irrational LOL
Most of all I'm afraid of the optician. I should have gone last summer but I've been putting it off. Those guys can find some serious stuff and that scares the hell out of me.

Nothing wrong with feeling that way, but don't avoiding seeing your doctor or dentist on a regular basis, otherwise, potentially serious problems might go overlooked until it's too late to do anything about them. I go to my doctor for a check-up every January just before my birthday, that way, when I get a clean bill of health, I consider that the best birthday gift I could possibly get. Speaking of which, thanks for mentioning the optomertrist, I need to make an appointment.

 

[Mycernius]

If your dentist is private now make sure you get a specialist hygienist session at the same time when you book (generally here in the UK I think NHS dentists carry out that work themselves).

I have a feeling that the dental peractice I go to maybe a mixture of private and NHS. They have a specialist hygienist, lovely lady, whom I see every three months.

but two root canals last spring and the insertion of two crowns at a cost of nearly eight thousand dollars, but was cut down to $3,700 thanks to health insurance.

Jeez Jeff almost $4000! Seems that the moral is don't get sick in the US. My one root canal and cap cost around $500. Don't even have to pay all of it up front if you can't afford it.

 

[Flashjeff]

Jeez Jeff almost $4000! Seems that the moral is don't get sick in the US. My one root canal and cap cost around $500. Don't even have to pay all of it up front if you can't afford it.

Lucky you! Yeah, you're right, even with insurance, getting sick is a ***** in the U.S. Fortunately, since I have a good credit rating, I qualified for a monthly payment plan, otherwise, I would've had to shell it all out up front. That would've hurt even more than the dental work.

 

[Sarapva]

...One last thought: flossing properly takes a certain skill. People can tell you how to do it, but it's best to be shown. Knowing I had a tendency to gum problems, I've long been very fastidious about my flossing, but when I went back to the dentist a few times they said 'you have to floss better'. I was flummoxed - I'd already been doing my best!

I also remember being surprised when told that there was a certain way to floss - I'd thought that just doing it was effort enough! But I think I've got the hang of it just recently: getting to the teeth on each side of the floss. That could be hard though if the gap between teeth is very small. As Mos said, it's probably best to be shown by your dentist or hygienist.

Posted by Flashjeff:

Lucky you! Yeah, you're right, even with insurance, getting sick is a ***** in the U.S.

That's right! Not too much longer until the next election though, and hopefully some national kind of health care.