Do these make sense? :D

[Haruspex]

Ok i gathered all my might and gave birth to a few (unusually dumb) sentences, now my question is if they are stillborn, and if they are wrong what has to be changed in order to make them valid?
Well the sentences are the following:

ano jigoku kara no kuroi neko wa ningen no chi o nomu koto ga dekiru yo

So basically i meant it in this way: That hellspawn black cat over there can drink human blood!! (Even if the sentence is correct would it be said in a very surprised tone?)

ano o mireba, shinu yo

I meant it like: If you look at that you'll die

ningentachi o koroseba, sugoi na ja nai yo

Like this: If you kill humans that won't be amazing.

So in the end are my sentences grammatically correct and do they match they english ones?

 

[undrentide]

ano jigoku kara no kuroi neko wa ningen no chi o nomu koto ga dekiru yo
That hellspawn black cat over there can drink human blood!!
(Even if the sentence is correct would it be said in a very surprised tone?)

This sentence is OK, grammatically correct. Well done!
If anything, I would change the ending of the senteince to
dekiru 'nda (yo)!
if it is to be said with a tone of surprise.
"nda" is contracted form of "noda", it's to emphasize the sentence, adding feelings.

ano o mireba, shinu yo
If you look at that you'll die

This sentence is also good, except "ano".
Unlike that in English which can stand on its own as well as to modify noun, "ano" is specifically to modify noun. It should be "are".
kono hana (this flower) = kore (this)
sono eiga (that film) = sore (that)
ano hon (that book) = are (that)
dono ie (which house) = dore (which)

ningentachi o koroseba, sugoi na ja nai yo
If you kill humans that won't be amazing.

The first part is OK, the latter is awkward.
Sugoi is i-adjective, so its negative form is "-ku nai", not "ja-nai/dewa nai".
Sorry I don't fully understand the connotation of this sentence, but I might say "sugoku nai (yo)".
Depending on the meaning of "if..." part, the first part might need to be modified.

 

[Haruspex]

Thank you very much for the superb explanation, i will correct those mistakes.

 

[Damicci]

Maybe:

ningentachi wo korosubakarinara, zenzen omoshiroi to omounjane~
If you just kill humans, I don't think that would be interesting at all.

bakari may give it that "you need to do more than just kill" feeling

or

ningentachi wo korosu bakari ha zenzen omoshirokune~
Just merely killing humans isn't interesting at all.

 

[Haruspex]

Thank you i'll keep that in mind, bakari is somewhat new to me, i'll look up the use of it. Thanks.

 

[tanhql]

Thank you i'll keep that in mind, bakari is somewhat new to me, i'll look up the use of it. Thanks.

ばかり (bakari) - Adam Milazzo's Personal Site

 

[Haruspex]

Oh thank you. Its nice of you.

 

[Mike Cash]

You don't need the "tachi" on "ningentachi". And it might be a little more "normal" to say "hito" instead of "ningen".

 

[Haruspex]

So if i get it correctly, when i use ningen does that mean there is something else that can be killed apart from humans so i stress human to show im only talking about humans? Than hito is more casual right?
Hmm if i got the picture ningen is like human species and hito is like folks, the real people. Is that correct?

 

[Elizabeth]

Maybe:

ningentachi wo korosubakarinara, zenzen omoshiroi to omounjane~
If you just kill humans, I don't think that would be interesting at all.

bakari may give it that "you need to do more than just kill" feeling

'Bakari' I don't think primarily gives the sense of "merely" as much as "only/just" along the lines of "exclusively" "nothing but." In short, not doing a whole lot else with life besides killing people.

As a way to emphasize the desire to actually take it beyond killing into another realm of torture and go with the meaning of "only this" you may want before the direct object something like "tsui" "tada" or "tan ni" (merely words...)

I'm way too tired to be thinking about this stuff now, though, so just something to consider on your own for now.

 

[Haruspex]

ano jigoku kara no kuroi neko wa ningen no chi o nomu koto ga dekiru nda yo

ano o mireba, shinu yo

hito o koroseba, sugoku nai yo

I corrected the sentences as you told me to.
They are now correct are they not?

 

[Haruspex]

Okay, i made some more even meaningless sentences. So are they correct?
omae wa bangohan o tabete ita
Intended it to mean: You were eating supper.

boku no soukou nekotachi wa pokemon no chou o hagashite ita
Like this: My armoured cats were ripping pokemon guts.

ano hidoi ushi wa omae o tabenai desu
Like this: That terrible cow won't eat you.

So are these sentences correct? Did i achieve what i wanted?

 

[Damicci]

ばかり (bakari) - Adam Milazzo's Personal Site

That's some good info, thx.

I had a recent talk when I was in Japan about bakari I still haven't grasped the concept fully, sometimes I used it correctly and sometimes I didn't.