Will our marriage plans work?

[happilyengaged]

Well, I think it should go fairly smoothly but I wanted to run it by the informed members of this site! it looks like a fantastic forum.

Me and my fiance have been dating for 4 1/2 years now (we are both over 22). We met at college, she went back to Fukuoka, Japan after year 1 and we have kept it up since then. We have made the deposit on a wedding location for December 23 of this year, will travel around Japan with my family afterward and come back to the USA on Jan. 2ndish

Unfortunately, I have changed around majors in school and have a final internship to complete after we get married. Consequently she will need to work until I get a real final job--or we won't have anytime to see each other while I go to school and work.

The Plan:

A) I will go back to Japan this summer. In either May or July.

B) We will then get legally married, fill out necessary paperwork and begin the process of getting her a spousal visa, green card, and social security number so she can work in January.

C) She will quit her job and come to visit me for about a month around September.

D) She will go back to Japan in October, working part time.

E) We will get married as said above and move to America in January 09 with her working.

_________

My questions I have for now are--

1) do you see any problems?

2) will there be any problems with her traveling to America for 1 month while we are filing all of her paper work?

3) At which point in this process would you recommend that she change her last name to my last name (we have discussed this and it is something she would like to do).

4) I will be an elementary school teacher and am hoping to work on a military base in Japan via the DOD programs. Any relevant advice considering that?
any other thoughts, opinions or advice would be invaluable.

Thank you for your help, feel free to offer any other words!

 

[JimmySeal]

I don't know a lot about this stuff but I'll say what I can.

I don't see any reason why she wouldn't be able to visit you for a month. It's my impression that Japanese can easily get tourist visas to the US the same way Americans can in Japan.

When are you planning to finish your degree and internship? Depending on your fiancée's education and English abilities, it may be difficult for her to find a well-paying job to support the both of you in the United States. Other people would know a lot more about this than I do, though.
If your ultimate plan is to move to Japan anyway, it might make sense for her to keep her current job and stay in Japan until you're done with school, assuming that won't be too long from now.

 

[Glenski]

How long are U.S. green card holders allowed to stay outside of the U.S.?
Are they allowed to work overseas?

Did you know that Dec. 23rd is the Emperor's birthday, a national holiday? It might affect your wedding ceremony plans.

I've heard that getting the U.S. green card takes a lot longer these days. Perhaps your timeframe of July to January is not long enough. If so, what will you do in the meantime? Moreover, as much as she should have no problems coming to the U.S. as a tourist for a month, how will the authorities contact here if they need to? Medical checkup. Police background checkup. Other stuff. Find out what is allowed in the way of travel (I suspect no probs but ask the officials).

If you want to work on a military base, you have to give up your spouse visa (if you ever got one; it's not required when you marry a Japanese) in order to be on SOFA status. Jobs may not be as easy to get as you think. If you are a certified teacher with experience back home, also consider international schools.

Work everywhere it tight. Does she think it's going to be easy to just pick up PT work in October?

 

[Mars Man]

Wedding locations do operate on holidays, and, in fact, will take advantage of such days in that most folks do not work, so getting married will bring a good number of folks to the place to, uh,...spend money.

Plans are often based on what we want to do, along with various things that should or have to be done in order to accomplish that sought out goal. There will logistical concerns, potential problem concerns, and there will always be our dear ole friend Murphey, throwing his law, as wrench, into the works.

We do not know many of the details, and so cannot really help out that much. As questioned above, her wife-to-be's quiting her job and going over to the States for a month, then coming back to Japan, strikes me as odd. (but you see, it could just be that I don't have some detailed information that give me any other vision of it)

I somehow do not see the connection between your wife-to-be's getting a green card and, as I put what little pieces of information given, together, you're desire to work here in Japan in the future. Unecessary paper work and trouble?

 

[SushiShin]

Whatever Mars Man saids I say too. But I think you have to think things over before taking the big jump.

 

[epigene]

I think the questions posed by Glenski-san and MM-san are legitimate. I don't think your fiancee can get a green card that quickly (although it will be issued eventually).

Although your fiancee will be able to travel freely between Japan and the US after acquiring the card, I think there is also the problem of limit to the length of each stay outside the US, unless you come here as teacher at a DOD school and she accompanies you as your wife. I don't know the exact length of time, but each absence from US territory was limited to one year per stay (which required written approval of the US embassy as well) many years ago. Also, you were required to give a valid reason for that, so your fiancee won't be able to do it so frequently.

 

[Glenski]

I somehow do not see the connection between your wife-to-be's getting a green card and, your desire to work here in Japan in the future. Unecessary paper work and trouble?

Sounds like wanting your cake and eating it, too.

Although your fiancee will be able to travel freely between Japan and the US after acquiring the card, I think there is also the problem of limit to the length of each stay outside the US,

I think this is a valid concern as well. If you just want to work on a DOD base, do it. You don't need to have your wife get a green card...probably. Check it out.

I also don't think it will be a snap to land such a job.

 

[happilyengaged]

well shoot...I had understood that it takes 4-7 months to get the paperwork through and have her eligible to begin working. Is that not the case? I am starting to wish we had taken care of this last christmas....

If you have particular questions that would allow you to offer me some advice please don't hesitate to ask.

___________

Some responses and more information to fill in the blanks:

It will no doubt take a while to get a job with the DOD. I am going to try to do it right out of school and I have a number of things going for me that will help. But it may take a few years anyway, hence the need for a green card until then. I will also have one more semester of school after we get married, so she could use it while here then.

I work full time and will continue working when she moves here. But if she could work pt or ft it would really help to ease my own burden as well as give her something to do. If she is allowed to work I will def be able to find her a job where I live.

The reason she is planning to quit in September is because she gets a bonus in september, can quit and get 1 months salary, has some options for a pt job lined up until we are married, and she is up from 730 home at 11 with her current job and really need some sortof vacation before beginning a life with me which will, no doubt, have a number of struggles for us to overcome.


Her English and test scores are fantastic, that won't be any problem if she can be confident (her English gets exponentially worse the more nervous she is).

As to the holidays. I changed schools, changed majors and had to wait for a class to roll around second semester and have thus cost myself 2 years of school. We would already be married if it werent for that and I can not tell you how tired we both are of a long distance relationship. It is time to end that, though it requires some sacrifices. Last New years I went down and we did the whole hotel/temple shopping thing and selected a hotel. The weekend before the 23 was the weekend of Buddha's death and after that it is too close to the new years. So, while the 23 isn't perfect, it should allow for enough guest to come to make for a pretty good celebration and wedding for her, as well as to mostly pay for the wedding. On they note...criminals...wow...wow....if you have ever planned a wedding in Japan you know exactly what I am talking about. Wow....

Anyway, if you have any questions or advice, please feel free to ask it or offer it up. Any help from anywhere I can get it is greatly appreciated!

 

[Glenski]

4-7 months?
Try 6-12 months. http://immigration.about.com/od/familybased/a/MarriageAmerica.htm

This lawyer says 1-3 years. http://immigration.about.com/od/familybased/a/gctmarrqafull.htm

Another thing to be concerned about is how much money you make (and have in the bank). Both are factors in the decision-making process.

 

[pipokun]

Before she enjoys her one month vacation, just tell her to register a head hunting site in Japan/US or browse websites for bilingual part-timers to know her market value now.

It might be possible that she will have to work for a convenience store and be faced here by some posters claiming that all Japanese convini staffs speak only English...

 

[happilyengaged]

there is no way to get married while we are still in different countries is there....lol....ah geez....

but wait...i will look more into it this afternoon...but if she gets a k-3 visa will she be eligible to work in the US while waiting for the green card? My real concern at the moment is just to have her helping out with the finances a bit.

Also, if she has some 15,000 dollars saved up but I have only a couple thousand, would it help just as much to show her money, or would it help to expediate the process if she actually put that money in my bank account or if we filed a joint bank account so as to be able to display that money as my own savings during the application process?

 

[Mike Cash]

Do I understand correctly that you two had one solid year during which you were in each other's physical presence and have had what is commonly known as a "long-distance relationship" for the subsequent three and one-half years?

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

Mike makes an excellent point--as do everyone who have posted thus far.

I'm not going to hit up you two for your long-distance thing too hard, though. I know folks who corresponded for years before getting married. But that was during a different time, and situations these days are different--look before you leap.

I'd also suggest that you make sure you are gainfully employed before you get hitched. This is a serious thing. Don't rush it. If you are worried that she'll get tired of waiting, well... I don't know what to say, except that if you jump into this thing without a nest-egg, prospects, or anything of the sort, you are asking for trouble. Big trouble. For the both of you.

The economy here in the U.S. is tight. The dollar is losing ground steadily to other currencies. Work in Japan might be more lucrative--IF you can find it. Big if. Her chances of finding work in the U.S. is probably better, but most likely won't pay as well unless you live in an urban area.

Keep in mind that most Japanese women don't expect to work a lot once they get married. Yeah, it's a generalization, but they exist for a reason. It's all about numbers. And you don't really know someone until you've lived with them for a decade, anyway, so what she says she wants may not be true (she might not even realize it).

My opinion--you guys are rushing. Wait until you get a job and her green card comes through. If she wants to come here, she should look for a job now. She can get jobs in high schools/colleges teaching Japanese at the very least. With a U.S. working visa, she can be here with you and you guys can strengthen your ties in person.

 

[happilyengaged]

well, on the positive aspects of our relationship I have been visiting japan and living with her and her family every summer for 1 1/2 months and about a month during each of the involved winter breaks. Then I usually have traveled down and stayed with them during spring break as well (usually skipping a week of school to make it a 2 week stay). so a total of about 3 months a year were spent living with her. Not too bad considering...and awfully expensive and difficult on me....

It isn't at all a question of worrying about losing her as it is that we both want it and are just sick and tired of being apart. Its a very sad thing to have to do.

Vonage helps alot with long distance relationships by the way.

And as to her working, I talked to her about that years ago and have discussed the issue with her many times. She is not at all surprised, in particular she has been fully aware of her need to contribute ever since I informed her of my desire to change into Elementary Education. It probably helps from her end, though, that her mother works full time as well.

Any advice on the legal issues would be greatly appreciated if available