@ "no means yes" this shocks me!! I beleived that no meant no in any language and country, and that this was a recognised straight forward reply and was never used as a "hard to get feature" or a "female bargaining tool"
Hi Debbie,
Justly, Japanese people don't like to say no and avoid it when they can, saying something like "well, I am not sure". Nevertheless, there are several translation for "no" : iie, iya, yada, narimassen (very formal), ikanai/ikemassen, and even
hai !
If you ask a question in the negative and answer "no" in English, it becomes "hai" (yes) in Japanese.
Eg. : ﾂ食窶堙冷?堙遺?堋｢窶堙 tabenai noﾂ ("Don't you eat ?")
窶堙坂?堋｢ haiﾂ ("Yes", which means : "that's right, I don't eat")
So, don't presume that no has the same value in every country.
Then, believe me that when my wife say no in bed and I stop, after she gets angry !:angryfire
But, it's rather clear that when a guy ask a girl in the street if she wants to play (Japanese way of asking for sex) and she says no and walk away with a shocked look, it
means no. Likewise, if she says no in a low voice, but follow the guy after, it means yes.
Anyway, I always imagine rape as violent. No woman is going to wait passively if she is being raped (should I mention "against her will", not the "rape me, rape me !" kind of girl). The most obvious case of rape is when it happens with a stranger and in a public place. But it might be at work with a colleague or even with a friend a home. In the last case, it's more difficult to judge whose responsibility it is. A woman who follows a man at home or invite her t her home is unlikely to be taken seriously when she says she has been raped (eventhough she said no).
I guess psychologically, it's different if a woman is "raped" non-violently by a long-time friend at home, or by an ugly and unknown ojisan in a backstreet with blows as she tried to escape. You cannot put these rapes in the same category. So, I wonder if the first one really are declared at all in Japan, or if it's only extreme cases (even more if pregnancy follows). American people easily go to court and happily get millions of USD of compensation for a coffee that was too hot at the McDonalds. Japanese people don't like trials and prefer settling things between them, even avoiding to tell anything to the police when it's possible. So, as Thomas said it, the figures are probably much higher in reality than on paper. In any case, I'd like to know the proportion of violent or "dark" rapes, as Moyashi put it, and other rapes.
). I don't think they would even consider virginity. If the woman is pretty, the guy is happy ('cause it's not always the case) and shut up whatever her personal history might be (sometime it's better not to ask).
