Hi Hirashin,
It's my pleasure to help.
I hear "how" is sometimes used instead of "that". For example
"I hate how he always leaves the toilet seat up."
Do you ever hear or say this type of "how"?
Yes, absolutely. This is another good example of the word "how" being used instead of "that". Actually, in everyday conversations, people will use "how" like this all the time. It is almost as if "how" has developed this additional meaning/usage. It you want to be very technical or precise, I think it is an incorrect usage, but you will find it used like this everywhere, even on college entrance exams! People just don't think too much about the possible difference in meaning. It can be very subtle, and most of the times it doesn't even matter.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell what the speaker means. Consider these examples, where a girl is talking to her friends:
1. I like that my boyfriend gives me massages. (The meaning of this sentence is clear and simple.)
2. I like how my boyfriend gives me massages. (The meaning may be interpreted different ways. Most likely, she means the same thing as sentence 1.)
3. I like how my boyfriend gives me massages. (This is the same as sentence 2, but maybe the sentence has a different meaning to her. Maybe she likes the specific technique that her boyfriend uses when he gives her a massage. She doesn't just like
that he gives her a massage, she likes his specific technique.
Most likely though, if you hear this sentence, it has the same meaning as sentence 1. This is just a new usage/meaning of the word
how. That's just how people use the word commonly.)
It's strange, but in fact I think people would rarely say, "I like that my boyfriend gives me massages." It just sounds a little strange and less natural now, even though technically it has the most simple and correct meaning. Instead, people would almost always say, "I like how my boyfriend gives me massages." Then it's up to you to figure out if they mean it like sentence 2 or sentence 3 (almost always it's meant like sentence 2).
In most cases, it's easy to determine the meaning. Like, "I hate how he always leaves the toilet seat up." This will always mean, "I hate
that he always leaves the toilet seat up." She doesn't actually care
how he did it. Did he use his left hand or his right hand? Haha. She just cares
that the toilet seat is up. In other cases, there might be a subtle difference in meaning (like my massages example).
Clark