The sushi experience I'd like to forget, with some help

[akaisha]

Most of this just tells of my sushi experience, leading up to the questions(its almost pointless) so here are the basic questions I'm asking(if you'd rather not hear my sorry story):
Do you eat an appetizer salad with chopsticks?
When provided with an "Asian styled" spoon with soup, should you use it or neglect it and drink the traditional way, or should you take the spoon out and drink it the traditional way?
Typically you are provided with an oshibori, if not given one, is it rude to request one?
Is it "not good" to eat a maki sushi in 2 bites as opposed to one? Should I just practice eating it in one bite?
For sushi(not sashimi) is it okay to mix a little bit of wasabi with your soy sauce if mostly out of view of your chef?
Is it okay when at a fine(r) restaurant as opposed to a sushi bar, to order set by set off the A La Carte or is it wiser to just order all at once?


Okay, so I've had sushi so far on three separate occasions. On the first two I stuck to the usual comfort zone of newcomers and just had maki-sushi(trying the traditional and non-adventuress tuna and california rolls), but on my third time I went to a Japanese restaurant specializing in sushi. On this third time I made a horrible fool of myself upon trying to eat sashimi and nigiri style sushi. Now after having the chefs, my waitress, and a nice Japanese family laugh and stare oddly at the spectacle I made of myself I decided to do some research so that next time I wouldn't seem like such an idiot. So I learned allot about proper table manners when eating a typical sushi meal, but there are still allot of things I didn't learn and am now asking here.
Firstly as an appetizer(of sorts) you're given the option of a soup or a salad. Now I'm a vegetarian(yes a horrible one as I like to indulge in sushi on occasion.. poor fishies) and since I don't like to break that(and I was afraid the soup options would be non-vegie friendly) I decided to have a nice small salad with a carrot-ginger sauce(yummy!) but me, being horribly inexperienced in Japanese cuisine, wasn't entirely sure rather you should use chopsticks for your salad, or a fork. Being the idiot I now feel I was, I asked for a fork and of course got a very displeased look from my waitress, so question #1 do you use chopsticks for your salad?
I like miso soup, and after learning that was an option I know that's what I'll probably order more on the occasion I have sushi, but at this particular place, a(I don't want to say Japanese, since I've seen it with Chinese soups too) "Asian styled" spoon is provided with the soup. Now as I already knew, typically when drinking soup you just lift the bowl and drink from it as is, so when given a spoon, what do you do? Should you take the spoon out and not use it? Should you leave it in, but neglect it? Or should you indeed use it?(silly question, I know, but I'm not wanting to be laughed at again).
Another odd thing is that I am aware when eating sushi you are commonly proved with a oshibori to clean your hands(and sometimes face) before eating sushi. This place did not provide me with one, and I didn't want to seem rude by asking. Should I still have? Would it be considered rude?
Okay and my last question is a very basic question. I tend to not eat maki sushi anymore because I feel all the extra ingredients tend to hide the flavor of the fish(and the fish doesn't need to be high quality either) and if I'm going to break my lifestyle for a meal sometimes, I want to make sure its worth it. But anyway I still plan to order a roll of something that sounds interesting like eel or something. My experience with rolls in the past has never been pleasant, from what I know, you're supposed to eat the slice in one full bite. Now maybe my mouth is a bit small but I don't understand how anyone can do that? On the 2 times I had it people around me could do it, but I couldn't. I can't bite through the nori very well unless I eat it in the way in which I don't get all the ingredients from the roll and either way I make a big mess and further give people reason to pity me. So is there at all a way I can manage 2 bites, or do I just need practice?
And lastly, I tend to like a little bit of kick with my food. From what I understand its rude to add wasabi to nigiri style sushi since its "glued" to the rice with it, and therefore an insult to the chef to add more. So, instead is it okay to add a little bit to your soy sauce if out of view of the chef? I can understand if the chef sees you how it would be insulting to him.
Or still not lastly, I just thought of another one. When eating at a restaurant table rather then the sushi bar(since I like to eat with other people who don't eat sushi, and would rather avoid looking at if not needed) is it okay to slowly order sushi from the A La Carte one set at a time? I know you can do this at the bar(and who needs a A La Carte menu then anyway? Sushi chefs have good memory ), but when at a fine(r) restaurant(at a table) would that be a bad thing?

 

[misa.j]

First of all, people shouldn't have been laughing at you because of the way you ate. Don't worry about what other people think too much and just enjoy your meal next time.
It is nice of you to try to learn the Japanese table manners, though.

Being the idiot I now feel I was, I asked for a fork and of course got a very displeased look from my waitress, so question #1 do you use chopsticks for your salad?

Don't worry about how displeased your waitress looked, they are hard to please anyways.
If the salad is very small, like if it's in 2~3 inch-sized dish which could sometimes be the case in a traditional Japanese course, it is easier to use chopsticks, but if it's in a regular sized salad dish, it doesn't really matter what you use.

Now as I already knew, typically when drinking soup you just lift the bowl and drink from it as is, so when given a spoon, what do you do? Should you take the spoon out and not use it? Should you leave it in, but neglect it? Or should you indeed use it?

Miso soup is made with fish stock for your reference, so if you don't want to break your rule of being a vegetarian, you might want to think about it.
Anyways, most miso soups have one or two ingredients in them, a lot of people use chopsticks to eat them and drink the liquid by tilting the bowl like you said.
Using a spoon is not traditional, but if given, you can use it.

Typically you are provided with an oshibori, if not given one, is it rude to request one?

No it isn't rude to ask for an oshibori especially if it is a fine restaurant, they should be keen about their service.
Oshibori does not seem very common in the states, so some places might have only napkins, though.

Is it "not good" to eat a maki sushi in 2 bites as opposed to one? Should I just practice eating it in one bite?

Some Japanse people break a slice in half with their chopsticks on a little plate when it is too big to eat with one bite.

For sushi(not sashimi) is it okay to mix a little bit of wasabi with your soy sauce if mostly out of view of your chef?

I've had sushi that had no wasabi in between fish and rice, and I usually put a tiny pinch of wasabi on the fish. I don't think it's considered rude.

Is it okay when at a fine(r) restaurant as opposed to a sushi bar, to order set by set off the A La Carte or is it wiser to just order all at once?

It is fine to order sushi one at a time, so you don't order more than you can eat.

Did I cover all of your questions? I hope you have a better dining experience next time.

 

[akaisha]

misa.j, Thank you so much for your help!!!!!!!!!!!! This helps out allot, you answered all my questions and I'll keep these in mind next time I go there.
I agree that those people were just big meanies! Laughing at my pathetic attempt to eat.. hmph. But I think in being confident in myself though this knowlege I can enjoy my meal much more then in the paranoia of last time.
As for being able to break thing it half with your chopsticks... my teeth can barely penetrate the evils of seaweed let alone a wooden stick. I'm not sure I'll be able to cut it in half, but I'll try. Thank you for the advice, its better I practice cutting then gagging on my sushi and throwing up all over the table(because that wouldn't be very good.)
And a last thing, I wasn't overly aware of miso soup being made with fish stock(good to know), but I suppose if I'm breaking my vegetarianism for a sushi meal I might as well slip up just a couple of times if its at that meal, I can always repent over this later.
Once again, thank you so much! I really really appreciate your taking the time to repsond so thoroughly ^_^ Thanks again.

 

[misa.j]

You're very welcome, akaisha!

Let me know how things will turn out next time when you go to a Japanese restaurant.

 

[akaisha]

You're very welcome, akaisha!

Let me know how things will turn out next time when you go to a Japanese restaurant.

Thanks again. And I'll be sure to tell you how it goes, I'll be going to a Japanese restaurant for a dinner with my mentor in honor of graduation from summer Japanese classes so all your advice will come in handy. I really appreciate it.