ShadowSpirit
normal is so passe
- 3 Dec 2008
- 199
- 16
- 28
Due to this first post of the thread being rather long, I bold printed the purpose of this thread if you just want to jump into things without reading all my ranting.
This might be a dangerous thread for me to start. Considering that I'm still relatively new here (less than 100 posts) and am sort of sticking my proverbial neck out on the topic I'm about to discuss. Though I feel it is important for me to defend a certain misunderstood demographic of posters on this forum. Hopefully I will come to learn something useful from any potential responses I receive.
First I want to say that above all else, I have met some great people on this forum. I've been given Japanese language tips, advice on relationships in Japan, and insight into some rather intriguing non-Japanese related topics. I've been fortunate to make friends on this forum in my short time visiting it and I feel that many of these people set a high standard for the kind of people I'd recommend that anybody would be honored to know. So to those of you, this thread is not aimed at you. For the others that may fall into what I'm about to describe, try to understand my disposition and not take direct offense. I'm not trying to make enemies out of this. I'm just trying to get some feedback on a trend I find frustrating.
Now with the formalities out of the way. Here is what I'm trying to understand. I've noticed that there seems to be a lot of veteran posters whom harbor a hyper sensitivity against anybody who doesn't come pre-equipped with inside knowledge of Japanese culture. It seems that questions must be asked with extreme caution and don't dare give any hint of misconception, prejudice, stereotype, type-casting, or any other nuance of discriminatory behavior when asking about Japan or Japanese people. It's like, if the questions are closed to interpretation, such as asking. "What manga are you currently reading?" Then everything is ok. Though if the question has a more flexible tone to cultural interpretation such as. "Do most Japanese people read mangas?" Then prepare for people to pull out their pitchforks and skewer the devil whom dare makes a 'generalization' about the people. What is this all about anyhow? It's as if the mentality is that of a mob that is in some exclusive club. Where you either know what is up, or you do not. If you fall into the do not category, it'll easily be figured out by the first few questions you ask. In which case, it seems that picking on that person instead of helping to educate them, happens to be the popular theme.
Here are just a few examples of the many I've encountered...
"Ask a Japanese American" Ask a Japanese American
This might seem like a bad example because if you read the post thoroughly, you'll notice that the OP takes things in a rather unhealthy direction. However, before any of this could even be drawn out of the person. Already people were shooting arrows at the topic. I guess I must be naive to a fault. Cause when I first read the title "Ask a Japanese American." I didn't think of it as arrogant nor as a spot to feign importance. I figured it was about an American citizen of Japanese descent whom is offering to answer questions about the cultural gap between his family's traditions and his upbringing in America. This is reminiscent to Amy Tan novels if that was the direction he was intending to make. It's a story that many people are able to tell but never do. My grandfather had such a story to tell, he was a first-generation born American citizen of Sicilian descent.
"Something I needed to get off my chest.." Something I needed to get off my chest..
This thread is about a young woman who wants to know why she is being shunned for having dyed hair while working at a grocer. There have been mixed reactions on this thread. Though again the gloves come off and she is bashed for allegedly not getting a clue as to what she is doing wrong. She wasn't saying that she didn't know that consequences would be met. She just wanted to know if her hair color truly offends people and to try and understand why. Not much empathy is given to her in her search for answers.
"If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!" If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!
This is a thread I find especially annoying. Right away the applause was in high regards for this post. I guess to one mindset of people, it seems like it is putting a certain group well in their place. Though for its very generally written way, it also makes some terrible assumptions about the more noble intentioned group. Granted, as this thread plays out a bit more, it starts to slowly differentiate between two groups (one deemed acceptable, another not so much.) However to claim that someone goes to Japan to seek a wife because they can't cut it at home, is very brash. If you applaud to that idea, then I think you miss an important picture. It's obvious at this point that I personally fall into the description that this post aims to brand. So let me point out a clear example of why their is fault in this basic logic. I'm an American, I have expressed my interest in looking for a woman in Japan. This isn't to say it will happen, but it is in my interest. Why not find a girl in America? For one thing, I'm an atheist. When you compare the demographic of atheists (Shintoism/Buddhism can be described as religions, but are not theisms,) in Japan compared to that of America, the difference is staggering. It greatly increases the number of available women that I am likely to share a similar life philosophy with. Thus increasing my chances of finding an ideal mate. I'm not a big football/basketball fan. A significant portion of American women are. I also am fond of anime, manga, karaoke, and videogames. Do women in America do those things? Yes, of course they do. Yet how many of them? When someone is raised in a certain culture, certain background, certain venues of entertainment; they usually adopt a fondness for such things. I'm not saying this makes Japanese women better than American women or any other kind of woman out there. Only that it makes them much more likely to enjoy the things I like. To increase my chances. That to me is a good enough reason to romanticize the idea of dating in Japan. Even if I still end up single in the end, I hope my point in diverting attention that way is made.
If you've read this far, kudos to you for your patience with the start of this thread. My question is why do many people on this forum go out of their way to scrutinize people who try to learn things rather than educate them? If a person is biased in their views, then you're not helping matters by insulting them for it. You're just going to let the seed of bias flourish and pass on to all the other people they talk with. Yet if you cut it off at the pass and say. "Hey, Japanese don't say kamikaze. The women in Japan aren't all timid and subservient. Japanese are emotional people that can have loving relationships." Just explain it to people. Don't be so quick to sharpen the axe everytime a misconception is brought up. "OMG JAPANESE DON'T ALL PLAY VIDEOGAMES. YOU ARE SO STUPID!" There is obviously a reason why people think the things they do when they are mistaken. The ideal thing would be to find out why they think it and help teach them otherwise. Afterall, media is about the only educational tool that most people have. We already know what a crock of crap that can be most of the time. So what better way for a person to get the truth than to ask questions to those who know?
Attacking people for trying to learn just comes off as snobby and stand-offish. I just don't know why it has to be this way.
This might be a dangerous thread for me to start. Considering that I'm still relatively new here (less than 100 posts) and am sort of sticking my proverbial neck out on the topic I'm about to discuss. Though I feel it is important for me to defend a certain misunderstood demographic of posters on this forum. Hopefully I will come to learn something useful from any potential responses I receive.
First I want to say that above all else, I have met some great people on this forum. I've been given Japanese language tips, advice on relationships in Japan, and insight into some rather intriguing non-Japanese related topics. I've been fortunate to make friends on this forum in my short time visiting it and I feel that many of these people set a high standard for the kind of people I'd recommend that anybody would be honored to know. So to those of you, this thread is not aimed at you. For the others that may fall into what I'm about to describe, try to understand my disposition and not take direct offense. I'm not trying to make enemies out of this. I'm just trying to get some feedback on a trend I find frustrating.
Now with the formalities out of the way. Here is what I'm trying to understand. I've noticed that there seems to be a lot of veteran posters whom harbor a hyper sensitivity against anybody who doesn't come pre-equipped with inside knowledge of Japanese culture. It seems that questions must be asked with extreme caution and don't dare give any hint of misconception, prejudice, stereotype, type-casting, or any other nuance of discriminatory behavior when asking about Japan or Japanese people. It's like, if the questions are closed to interpretation, such as asking. "What manga are you currently reading?" Then everything is ok. Though if the question has a more flexible tone to cultural interpretation such as. "Do most Japanese people read mangas?" Then prepare for people to pull out their pitchforks and skewer the devil whom dare makes a 'generalization' about the people. What is this all about anyhow? It's as if the mentality is that of a mob that is in some exclusive club. Where you either know what is up, or you do not. If you fall into the do not category, it'll easily be figured out by the first few questions you ask. In which case, it seems that picking on that person instead of helping to educate them, happens to be the popular theme.
Here are just a few examples of the many I've encountered...
"Ask a Japanese American" Ask a Japanese American
This might seem like a bad example because if you read the post thoroughly, you'll notice that the OP takes things in a rather unhealthy direction. However, before any of this could even be drawn out of the person. Already people were shooting arrows at the topic. I guess I must be naive to a fault. Cause when I first read the title "Ask a Japanese American." I didn't think of it as arrogant nor as a spot to feign importance. I figured it was about an American citizen of Japanese descent whom is offering to answer questions about the cultural gap between his family's traditions and his upbringing in America. This is reminiscent to Amy Tan novels if that was the direction he was intending to make. It's a story that many people are able to tell but never do. My grandfather had such a story to tell, he was a first-generation born American citizen of Sicilian descent.
"Something I needed to get off my chest.." Something I needed to get off my chest..
This thread is about a young woman who wants to know why she is being shunned for having dyed hair while working at a grocer. There have been mixed reactions on this thread. Though again the gloves come off and she is bashed for allegedly not getting a clue as to what she is doing wrong. She wasn't saying that she didn't know that consequences would be met. She just wanted to know if her hair color truly offends people and to try and understand why. Not much empathy is given to her in her search for answers.
"If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!" If You're Desperate for Love, Stay at Home!
This is a thread I find especially annoying. Right away the applause was in high regards for this post. I guess to one mindset of people, it seems like it is putting a certain group well in their place. Though for its very generally written way, it also makes some terrible assumptions about the more noble intentioned group. Granted, as this thread plays out a bit more, it starts to slowly differentiate between two groups (one deemed acceptable, another not so much.) However to claim that someone goes to Japan to seek a wife because they can't cut it at home, is very brash. If you applaud to that idea, then I think you miss an important picture. It's obvious at this point that I personally fall into the description that this post aims to brand. So let me point out a clear example of why their is fault in this basic logic. I'm an American, I have expressed my interest in looking for a woman in Japan. This isn't to say it will happen, but it is in my interest. Why not find a girl in America? For one thing, I'm an atheist. When you compare the demographic of atheists (Shintoism/Buddhism can be described as religions, but are not theisms,) in Japan compared to that of America, the difference is staggering. It greatly increases the number of available women that I am likely to share a similar life philosophy with. Thus increasing my chances of finding an ideal mate. I'm not a big football/basketball fan. A significant portion of American women are. I also am fond of anime, manga, karaoke, and videogames. Do women in America do those things? Yes, of course they do. Yet how many of them? When someone is raised in a certain culture, certain background, certain venues of entertainment; they usually adopt a fondness for such things. I'm not saying this makes Japanese women better than American women or any other kind of woman out there. Only that it makes them much more likely to enjoy the things I like. To increase my chances. That to me is a good enough reason to romanticize the idea of dating in Japan. Even if I still end up single in the end, I hope my point in diverting attention that way is made.
If you've read this far, kudos to you for your patience with the start of this thread. My question is why do many people on this forum go out of their way to scrutinize people who try to learn things rather than educate them? If a person is biased in their views, then you're not helping matters by insulting them for it. You're just going to let the seed of bias flourish and pass on to all the other people they talk with. Yet if you cut it off at the pass and say. "Hey, Japanese don't say kamikaze. The women in Japan aren't all timid and subservient. Japanese are emotional people that can have loving relationships." Just explain it to people. Don't be so quick to sharpen the axe everytime a misconception is brought up. "OMG JAPANESE DON'T ALL PLAY VIDEOGAMES. YOU ARE SO STUPID!" There is obviously a reason why people think the things they do when they are mistaken. The ideal thing would be to find out why they think it and help teach them otherwise. Afterall, media is about the only educational tool that most people have. We already know what a crock of crap that can be most of the time. So what better way for a person to get the truth than to ask questions to those who know?
Attacking people for trying to learn just comes off as snobby and stand-offish. I just don't know why it has to be this way.