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Some help making sure this is correct, please?

merei-chan

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I'd like some reassurance on this sentence...

私は牙暁の幸せを見つける希望.

I'm meaning to say "I hope Kakyou finds happiness." The Kakyou in question is a friend of a friend, and it's part of a surprise of sorts... So I'd like it to be right and proper.

I admit to being a little weak on using kanji, and I relied on my dictionary a heckuva lot. Even so, I hope I'm using them correctly... :? I'd really like to get this right...

Thank you for any advice/corrections on this!
 
I don't know where you got Kakyou's kanji, but assuming you were to add さん to the end of his/her name, what you have written would translate more closely to:

The hope that I will find Kakyou's happiness.

In other words, it is a sentence fragment as it currently stands. Remember, word order in Japanese is quite different from English. The verb comes last. Try again, and I'll help you some more.
 

私はかきょうさんは幸せを見つけるように。

I pray/hope Kakyou san finds his happiness.
 

If translated, the sentence you wrote in Japanese would mean:
"I'm the hope that finds Kakyou's happiness." Does it make sense?

If you wanna say "I hope Kakyou finds happiness",
「(私は)牙暁の幸せを願[ねが]っています。」 or 「牙暁に幸せになって欲[ほ]しい(と思[おも]っています)。」 would be better.
 
neokai I think was also on the right track with something like such:

かきょうさんが 幸せを見つますようおいのりします。etc.
 
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