So I attempted translating a song...

[ApterousAngel]

...and I'm not sure how good of a job I did. Can anyone tell me how close I was? (or how far, as the case very well may be!)
This might be obvious, but I haven't been studying Japanese for very long. :/
Also, I don't know if this is the right place to put this.
But anyway, here's the kanji of the song:

楽園(そら)から落ちたときに何かを与えられた
見つめてみればそこは醜いものばかりで
心のどこかで夢だと願った
世界の素顔 それはずっとずっと昔から
教えられていたのと変わらないものだった
終わりが来るたび目をそらす人よ
最後に残るものは小さくて脆いもの
それを希望と名付けこの胸に埋め込んだ

それがきっと僕だから

(そら is in parenthesis because it was above 楽園 as furigana.)
And here's my attempt at a translation. ☝
Something was given at the time it fell from the heavenly sky
Now that I'm staring, nothing but ugly things are there
Somewhere in my heart, I wished it was a dream
The world's sober face, that is always, always from old times
The things that were taught never changed
Each time the end comes, people avert their eyes
What lingers in the final moments is small and fragile
That desire was named and buried in this chest

Therefore, that surely is me

Some of those lines confused me more than others did. But can anyone help me out by pointing out mistakes? (And there are probably many!)

 

[nice gaijin]

Lyrics are tough to translate, because of the license artists take in playing with the language they use, and the myriad of ways you could interpret the words. One thing I noticed:

最後に残るものは小さくて脆いもの
それを希望と名付けこの胸に埋め込んだ

you translated as:
What lingers in the final moments is small and fragile
That desire was named and buried in this chest

I think what "それ" refers to in that second line is the 小さくて脆いもの, so it would be closer to:

The small, fragile thing remaining/lingering in the end
was named hope and buried in this/my chest.

 

[Ashikaga]

世界の素顔 それはずっとずっと昔から
教えられていたのと変わらないものだった

世界の素顔、 それは、ずっとずっと昔から教えられて いたの（教えられていたもの）と、変わらないものだっ た。

The true face of this world turns out to be not different from the one that has been being taught since long long time ago.

 

[undrentide]

楽園(そら)から落ちたときに何かを与えられた
Something was given at the time it fell from the heavenly sky

I think it is the singer himself who fell from the paradise/heaven.
My attempt is:
When fell from the heaven, something was given to me

 

[ApterousAngel]

Heh, okay.
I have so much to learn. :dead: