Shinto rituals for houses

Lothor · 20 Oct 2015

We've recently bought a second-hand house (built in 1991), which is currently being renovated, and we plan to move in December. This morning Mrs Lothor suggested that we got the Shinto priests round to do their paper mop waving mumbo-jumbo (my words, not hers!) about the time we move in.
Nobody has died in the house and its butsudan (?) was never used by the previous owner, so there seems to be absolutely no need to do a purification ritual. When I asked my wife why, I got the unsatisfactory answer 'I am Japanese!'.
In 12 years of living in Japan, I have never heard of anyone getting the priests round simply when a house is moved into and suspect that this is not typical Japanese behaviour.

Any thoughts?

Majestic · 20 Oct 2015

Answer: is it worth getting into an argument with your wife? If no, call the priest and let him wave whatever he wants.

Grandpa Frank · 20 Oct 2015

38 years of marriage has taught me to give the wife what she wants and you will be a much happier man.

mdchachi · 20 Oct 2015

By now you should know your wife is not typical Japanese. That's why you married her, right? :joyful:

Don't forget the blessing is not effective until you donate Y30,000 (or whatever the going rate is) to the BMW-driving priest.

Lothor · 20 Oct 2015

mdchachi said:
By now you should know your wife is not typical Japanese. That's why you married her, right? :joyful:

Don't forget the blessing is not effective until you donate Y30,000 (or whatever the going rate is) to the BMW-driving priest.

Actually, she is rather typically Japanese!

So the consensus seems to be not to rock the boat and humour the wife on this one. Thanks for your opinions, though I'd still like to know whether this is common in Japan (the Shinto ritual, not humouring the wife) - the reason 'I am Japanese' doesn't cut much ice.

Mike Cash · 20 Oct 2015

Lothor said:
Actually, she is rather typically Japanese!

So the consensus seems to be not to rock the boat and humour the wife on this one. Thanks for your opinions, though I'd still like to know whether this is common in Japan (the Shinto ritual, not humouring the wife) - the reason 'I am Japanese' doesn't cut much ice.

Googling turned up results of Japanese people discussing this, so it is done. Can't say how common it is.

Majestic · 20 Oct 2015

Lothor said:
the reason 'I am Japanese' doesn't cut much ice.

Grasshopper, you still have much to learn.

There is no victory in this game. This is not a legal case to be won or lost. The reason is valid for her.
Even if you could find a web-site that said it was unnecessary to perform a ritual cleansing of the house, her response would be the same. Even if your Japanese skills were rock-solid and you could argue the logic of your case super-eloquently in Japanese, the result would be the same. This is beyond logic, and its just something she wants to do regardless of what you think about it.
So, since she is the woman you swore to uphold, protect, for richer or poorer, etc... there is no need to try to prove yourself right or wrong here, there is only a need to not be a cranky thorn in your wife's side.
I found a site where people are arguing the merits of this kind of thing, and the results are as one might expect; some people say it isn't necessary, while others say they would absolutely do it.
新居への引越しにお祓いは必要だと思いますか？ - アンケート | 【OKWave】
A shinto website that provides this service (and charges 20,000 to 30,000 for it).
家のお祓いについて
Congratulations on the house. May it bring you both much happiness.

mdchachi · 20 Oct 2015

If you could get all of her own peers/family to say it's not necessary you might be able to lead her to that conclusion. It's a long shot but it might work, if you pretend to be neutral.

Or if you go to the local Housing Administration Blessings Registry, check the registry and prove that the land was properly blessed before they built then you might be able to convince her not to do it again. (Typically this office is co-located with the Ministry of Silly Walks.)

Glenski · 21 Oct 2015

The ceremony is not to purify after a calamity. It's to purify and protect for the future. If something bad happened without a ceremony, she and others would blame the lack of a ceremony for failure to protect the house.

Your wife is not typical because she agreed to buy a used house instead of razing it and building a new one.
Your wife is typical Japanese because she wants this ceremony. My wife said we would do the same thing under the same circumstances and that many Japanese would.

So "because I'm Japanese" is not a good reason? Good luck with the upcoming divorce. How do you think she would feel if you wanted to do something and the only reason was "because I'm <insert nationality here>"? And how would you feel?

We shell out 500 yen every year for an omamori good luck charm for the cars. Makes my wife feel more comfortable and doesn't cost a lot. Similar principle. I hope you're not too cheap to do something like that!

Lothor · 21 Oct 2015

Thanks for all the replies. As luck would have it, I went out with an estate agent last night who reckoned that the house blessing was done but not particularly common. My wife this morning gave a cost similar to the one Majestic gave, 25000 yen, which to keep my wife happy for 20 years is a bargain as many other people have pointed out! I will gracefully submit to my wife's wishes.

Regarding 'I am Japanese', I'm still happily married after 11 years, so I can't be getting everything wrong! We all have our quirks and one of mine is this monolithic "We Japanese..." attitude is like a red rag to a bull. Fortunately, because of my job and the company I keep, it doesn't come up very often.

johnnyG · 21 Oct 2015

I guess I got the lucky draw. We bought our used house about 25 yrs ago and this never came up.

Shinto rituals for houses

Lothor

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Majestic

先輩

Grandpa Frank

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mdchachi

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Lothor

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Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

Majestic

先輩

mdchachi

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Glenski

Just me

Lothor

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johnnyG

Sempai

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