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Sense of humor different for men, women

Brooker

Anjin
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10 Apr 2004
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I thought this was interesting....

Men and women differ in how they define what makes a good sense of humor. A new study conducted by Eric Bressler, a graduate student at McMaster University, has found that to women, "sense of humor" means someone who is able to make her laugh, whereas for men a sense of humor means someone who likes his jokes.

"There's a difference between producers (those who make you laugh) and receptors (those who laugh when someone cracks a joke)," said Bressler. "Women choose men who produce humour 62 per cent of the time; conversely, men choose women who appreciate their humour 65 per cent of the time."

Bressler also found differences when he looked at different types of relationships: "When it comes to friendships, men like to be around women who produce humour; when it comes to sexual relationships, they only dig women who laugh at their jokes."

So men want to make women laugh, and women want to be made to laugh? I guess it's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

To tie into this, I guess I can say that a gal seems like she might be my type, if I can say whatever I'm thinking and it's usually well received by her. Makes me feel like she's interested in me and/or the things I'm interested in. If we don't think the same kinds of things are funny, we might not have much in common. If she thinks everything I talk about is boring, she probably won't be interested in me and I probably won't enjoy talking to her, so we wouldn't be a match. But I also like a gal who can come up with her own interesting/funny things to say (at least 35% of the time :) ).

How important is humor to you in a relationship? And do you think the "guys want to produce humor and girls want to receive humor" theory works?

Reminds me of that Weezer song, "No One Else"...
:22: "My girl's got a big mouth
With which she blabbers a lot
She laughs at most everything
Whether it's funny or not
And if you see her
Tell her it's over now

I want a girl who will laugh for no one else
When I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf
When I'm away she never leaves the house
I want a girl who laughs for no one else" :22:

link
 
I like humour in a relationships because it always lightens things up. My sort of girlfriend (I really hate calling her that, why can't she just come back from Germany soon? lol) is very interesting to be around because she is very smart, but has a touch of randomness which makes her funny, she makes me laugh. I tend to make her laugh as well so I guess we work well
 
Humour is important.. this research is not -_-

It is imbecile and worthless.

I keep getting shocked by the stupid crap people put funds on researching... and this one doesn't really have any substantial results.. the "research" seems to have been a questionaire with a question that can only get a totally subjective answer and is really fuzzy to boot.

it's like asking someone "would you consider yourself an optimistic and happy person?" I know many that would answer yes to that question that are bitter and mean. (yes, I'm thinking of one in particular.. she did answer yes to that question on a life expectancy test, and she's the most bitter and angry old hag I know.)

I also expect alot of people would answer no depending on what state they were in at the moment...

But about the topic: I think we all concieve humour slightly different. I do not think it's gender related.
 
Like you Brooker, I like girls who are open minded enough that I can say what I'm thinking without having to worry how they'll react to it, and if they don't get it then at least they show enough of an interest to inquire into what I meant.

I love it when my girlfriend makes me laugh too. It adds another kind of intimacy to the relationship.
 
TwistedMac said:
Humour is important.. this research is not -_-
I love your sceptism TwistedMac, but don't you think you are being a bit hasty in criticising this study? I agree that a lot of research is misguided, especially if the methodology, assumptions, or analysis are questionable, but I haven't seen any evidence of this in this case. Do you know something we don't?

In my opinion all research is worth doing if only to increase our understanding of each other and the world we are a part of. As long as the study is carefully defined, executed and analysed, it's worthy in my book.
 
TwistedMac said:
Humour is important.. this research is not -_-

It is imbecile and worthless.

I keep getting shocked by the stupid crap people put funds on researching... and this one doesn't really have any substantial results.. the "research" seems to have been a questionaire with a question that can only get a totally subjective answer and is really fuzzy to boot.

it's like asking someone "would you consider yourself an optimistic and happy person?" I know many that would answer yes to that question that are bitter and mean. (yes, I'm thinking of one in particular.. she did answer yes to that question on a life expectancy test, and she's the most bitter and angry old hag I know.)

I also expect alot of people would answer no depending on what state they were in at the moment...
Unless there is solid reason to expect men and women are responding to questions about whether they would rather tell a joke or have it well received based on anything other than gender + its correlates (power, status, social expectations etc), the burden of counterexplanation really does fall on the back of a critic. Of course other well-designed methodologies, other labs, etc always have the problem of replicating interesting or novel findings....
 
I didn't think it was interesting because of its scientific merit, but rather that it gives an interesting theory on relations between men and women and I think there's something to it. I don't think studies like this are meant to be taken as fact (although some people might make the mistake of taking them that way) but just as a rough guide.

Besides, this study already said,
Men and women differ in how they define what makes a good sense of humor.
, so it's already acknowledged that the results are the way that men and women DEFINE what humor is. I think you were thinking it was trying to say more than it actually was.
 
Brooker said:
I didn't think it was interesting because of its scientific merit, but rather that it gives an interesting theory on relations between men and women and I think there's something to it. I don't think studies like this are meant to be taken as fact (although some people might make the mistake of taking them that way) but just as a rough guide.

Besides, this study already said, , so it's already acknowledged that the results are the way that men and women DEFINE what humor is. I think you were thinking it was trying to say more than it actually was.
My interpretation is that the majority of neither gender believe the opposite sex has a literally 'better sense of humor' than they do, although a lot of men may appreciate women who laugh at their jokes no matter how stupid. Otherwise there wouldn't be a difference between romance & friendship for instance. All it basically shows is who you prefer as a complement in dating relationships, traditionally men have been aggressors so it isn't too surprising it holds for the production of jokes as well.
 
Index said:
I love your sceptism TwistedMac, but don't you think you are being a bit hasty in criticising this study? I agree that a lot of research is misguided, especially if the methodology, assumptions, or analysis are questionable, but I haven't seen any evidence of this in this case. Do you know something we don't?

lol he was the researcher?
 
Brooker said:
How important is humor to you in a relationship? And do you think the "guys want to produce humor and girls want to receive humor" theory works?

I have no idea as to the validity of the theory, however I do agree with you Brooker, that I prefer being with a woman who not only enjoys being entertained, but who also likes to initiate some of the humor.

For me, not only is humor important in a relationship, but it is an essential element of a warm and lasting relationship. I don't have any scientific study to back up what I just wrote, except for 30 happy years of being with a lady who laughs at my goofy humor, and who manages to make me laugh every day.

 
TwistedMac said:
Humour is important.. this research is not -_-

It is imbecile and worthless.

I keep getting shocked by the stupid crap people put funds on researching... and this one doesn't really have any substantial results.. the "research" seems to have been a questionaire with a question that can only get a totally subjective answer and is really fuzzy to boot.

it's like asking someone "would you consider yourself an optimistic and happy person?" I know many that would answer yes to that question that are bitter and mean. (yes, I'm thinking of one in particular.. she did answer yes to that question on a life expectancy test, and she's the most bitter and angry old hag I know.)

I also expect alot of people would answer no depending on what state they were in at the moment...

But about the topic: I think we all concieve humour slightly different. I do not think it's gender related.


I'm a little late to this one, but man, it's weird to cyber-stalk yourself and see someone completely harshing on your research.

I did that study, and I'll be the first to admit it ain't groundbreaking stuff. But I also never said it was. My opinion is that that study - like a lot of social psychology - verified an intuition that a lot of people have, and suggests directions for future research that are less obvious. That's important enough.

Having said all that, these particular criticisms are pretty weak. First, the fact that the data are "subjective" is not only not a bad thing, it's precisely the point. We were trying to measure people's stated preferences, which are subjective. It'd be nice to get some behavioral verification, but the results I already got are a good first step.

And the design of our study was not like asking people to say whether they are happy and optimistic. Questions such as those are loaded with demand characteristics, and are prone to inducing satisficing. Our design was a forced-choice, where each participant chose as a preferred partner either someone who was described as producing humor or someone who was described as being receptive to their own humor. Either way, the participants had to "sacrifice" some trait. It's a way of getting at which trait each participant values the most. It doesn't say anything about whether they do or do not value the trait they didn't choose. Yes, both men and women value a relationship partner who is both funny and receptive to their humor. Not a surprise. But is there a sex difference in how much each sex values those two behaviors? That's what we were trying to find out, and we did.

Maybe it's not "gender-related" [sic], as you said. If it's not, then why did men and women respond - on average - differently to the question? Might these results have been caused by some other factor that's confounded with sex? Sure, and the whole point of research is to focus in on the factors that you think might have the most explanatory value, study them, and find out. At the moment, we know that men and women tend to respond differently to the question I asked. That's kinda neat. Now we gotta do some more exploring and find out what else they do. That's a valuable enough goal for me, especially since this study was incredibly cheap to do.
 
bressle said:
I'm a little late to this one, but man, it's weird to cyber-stalk yourself and see someone completely harshing on your research.
We're honored to have you among us. I thought your research was interesting and thought provoking, that's why I posted it here. And I kind of thought TwistedMac missed the point. Notice that the rest of us all jumped to the defense of your work. I understood that this...
Men and women differ in how they define what makes a good sense of humor.
...was all you were claiming to say.

You're always going to have critics, but I think most of us here were quite interested in your study.
 
I'm female and I like it when a guy laughs at my jokes... probably because, I think there's a good chance he'd walk away thinking he'd enjoyed the conversation :)

My BF likes me because I laugh at his jokes, and also because I make him laugh (well, I'm assuming that's not the *only* reason he likes me, lol). So, as I think everybody has twigged, there's something of both ways each, if you follow me.
 
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