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Possibilities, possibilities and possibilities........

Duo

As the Rush Comes
25 Apr 2003
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Sometimes out of the blue people are found in situations where, by fate or ability or charm or whatever, they have the chance to date or go out with two or three individuals. Point is how does one choose like out of this sample the one whom they they think they have a higher possibility of success, im not just talkin about sex. Or does one pursue multiple partners if they are able to ? How would you react if you were in a situation like this? Would you settle for your best choice or would you try to play it safe and have a back up or back ups ?
We have this notion that ideally we find a person who is good for us and we stick with that person, but reality has over and over again proven that this doesn't always occur and many are left hurt from such interactions. And being in a position such as this is extremely confusing, so do u think it is possible to have some kind of clarity and what would you need to have this clarity, a clear set of goals or things you're lookin for or maybe would it be best to just go with the flow and see what happens ?
 
I have had this problem many times, you choose the person your happiest with. It sucks for the others as they may all have the same interest in you but there will always be one that really does it for you.
 
I've never been a fan of spreading oneself too thin... You like her, she likes you... give it all you've got I say if the feeling is mutual. Anything less isn't worth pursuing or maintaining for that matter (imho). Sure, "playing the field" has its pros but I would rather just emotionally invest my time and energy into that one special person rather than always keeping an eye out for "options"... Been there, done that (I used to be quite the manwhore, heh...). In my "old age" I guess i've matured and now take into account other people's feelings more seriously as well as my own without second-guessing myself so much.
 
I haven't cheated on a girl since I was 17 years old, and I do remember times when I had to choose. At one stage I had 3 on the go.
On one occasion I chose the girl who I thought was more reliable and true - even though I fancied the other one like mad ,and so did all my friends.
Then I chose the next one just because I fancied her so much. All this was going on while I was seeing a girl who went on to be a 'Dolly Dealer' on Bruce Forthsyth's 'Play Your Cards Right' TV show.

I think my recent run of luck with women is some kind of universal justice, taking revenge on me for my teenage infidelity - or maybe I'm paranoid, Rich
 
I'm not often in the happy situation of being objective of (reasonably serious type of) relationship with several guys in one time. When it is that situation, I try to 'manage' all for as long as possible, but eventually of course has to choose. I can say I find it quite easy to choose because I always like one person clearly over others, so it has to be 'goodbye' to the others. If to be 'seriously' boyfriend/girlfriend I won't cheat. 😌
 
Kinsao said:
I'm not often in the happy situation of being objective of (reasonably serious type of) relationship with several guys in one time. When it is that situation, I try to 'manage' all for as long as possible, but eventually of course has to choose. I can say I find it quite easy to choose because I always like one person clearly over others, so it has to be 'goodbye' to the others. If to be 'seriously' boyfriend/girlfriend I won't cheat. 😌


I'm with you there, sometimes though because of location or other factors it's not easy to balance things out, but one in the end must face reality and choose, I think it would be unfair and wrong to lead people on when you don't really have an intention of having anything serious with them, and makin them beleive so is not right, but it's easy to talk until you are in that situtaion I think, and then well, objectivity and subjectivity get a bit blurry 😊
 
Kinsao said:
I can say I find it quite easy to choose because I always like one person clearly over others, so it has to be 'goodbye' to the others.

Yeah, definitely know what you mean. Of course, for me, other factors then have to come into play to cause problems, such as distance...

Why do things have to be so difficult? :(
 
Oh.. the distance dilemma... shocking. How to bide my time meanwhile??? Luckily im not forced into a monogamous relationship, but at the end of the day I still know who I want to be with... its just the waiting in the meantime. :( Seems absurd to be in his home country while he's in mine... but ultimately it was my stupid decision. So at the moment im not opposed to spending time with others, however if he WAS here, it would be a different story. This makes me sound really shallow, but im not as bad as it looks. Also while he is there, he can do whatever he likes too. Its not a one sided situation.
 
kirei_na_me said:
Yeah, definitely know what you mean. Of course, for me, other factors then have to come into play to cause problems, such as distance...

Why do things have to be so difficult? :(


yeah, distance is quite the problem, and a big annoyace, but at times even it can't stop things from happening....... but ja sometimes things are a bit difficult :eek:
 
Duo said:
yeah, distance is quite the problem, and a big annoyace, but at times even it can't stop things from happening....... but ja sometimes things are a bit difficult :eek:

Distance is one of the big factors for me, especially long-term...I once dated a Texan, in....Austin, Texas years ago - which ended only due to high phone bills and loooooong distance...flying back and forth is not a long-term solution....
 
yeah, well this thread also refers to havin to choose between several people, ever been in that situtation miss p? ;)
 
Duo said:
Sometimes out of the blue people are found in situations where, by fate or ability or charm or whatever, they have the chance to date or go out with two or three individuals. Point is how does one choose like out of this sample the one whom they they think they have a higher possibility of success, im not just talkin about sex. Or does one pursue multiple partners if they are able to ? How would you react if you were in a situation like this? Would you settle for your best choice or would you try to play it safe and have a back up or back ups ?
We have this notion that ideally we find a person who is good for us and we stick with that person, but reality has over and over again proven that this doesn't always occur and many are left hurt from such interactions. And being in a position such as this is extremely confusing, so do u think it is possible to have some kind of clarity and what would you need to have this clarity, a clear set of goals or things you're lookin for or maybe would it be best to just go with the flow and see what happens ?


You know...i've never really had to worry about this kinda situation...its never happened to me :S
 
Duo said:
yeah, well this thread also refers to havin to choose between several people, ever been in that situtation miss p? ;)

Me??! Choose between several people??? No, I am not that lucky...:D :D
 
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