Please check Grammar of sentence

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #1

皆さんこんにちは、
In English I am trying to say,

This morning while driving to work I saw a Kangaroo crossing the Road.

I am trying to use the grammar point ながら and the present progressive ている.

今朝私は仕事に運転しながら道路を渡っているカンガロオを見ました。

Is this sentence grammatically correct?

よろしくお願いします

 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

Twenty-year veteran

15 Mar 2002

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #2

The grammar seems alright but we don't usually use 運転 quite like that. Try 走る instead. 会社 would be more natural than 仕事

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• Thread starter
• #3

Thanks Mikesan、
今朝私は会社に走りながら道路を渡っているカンガロオを見ました。

 

Majestic

先輩

Ten-year veteran

12 Oct 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #4

「カンガルー」 ですよね。

 

Majestic

先輩

Ten-year veteran

12 Oct 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #5

Also, I think you'd probably say one of the following (or some variation of such)

会社へ行くとき
通勤中
通勤していたとき
会社に向かていたとき
通勤途中

rather than 会社に走りながら. Kind of sounds like you were running to work.

And, just to be pedantic, you probably don't need the 「私は」 as its implied that you are the one who was going to work and doing the "seeing". Not that including it makes the sentence grammatically incorrect, mind you, it just seems a bit superfluous.

 

letslearn

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11 Sep 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• Thread starter
• #6

Majestic said:

「カンガルー」 ですよね。

Click to expand...

Thanks majesticsan , it was own attempt at katakana．

 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

Twenty-year veteran

15 Mar 2002

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #7

Majestic said:

Also, I think you'd probably say one of the following (or some variation of such)

会社へ行くとき
通勤中
通勤していたとき
会社に向かていたとき
通勤途中

rather than 会社に走りながら. Kind of sounds like you were running to work.

And, just to be pedantic, you probably don't need the 「私は」 as its implied that you are the one who was going to work and doing the "seeing". Not that including it makes the sentence grammatically incorrect, mind you, it just seems a bit superfluous.

Click to expand...

I thought about mentioning the variants you did but he specifically wanted to use ながら so I kept it to that,

走る is perfectly natural and common use in that situation.

(You have a typo in your list of alternatives)

 

Majestic

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Ten-year veteran

12 Oct 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #8

Majestic said:

会社に向かっていたとき

Click to expand...

Thank you, sir.

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• Thread starter
• #9

Thanks all.
I have been studying the ながら grammar point lately so wanted to make sure I was using it correctly.
However having the other ways to say it is great as then I won't sound repetitive.
I will try it out now with my friends.

 

Majestic

先輩

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12 Oct 2013

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• 15 Jul 2014

• #10

Holy christ, I didn't even notice that first part where you (and then Mike) said you were specifically studying ながら. My apologies. Insert embarrassed smiley here.

How about the following then,

今朝、通勤しながら
会社へ行きながら
会社へ車を運転しながら ← a bit wordy, but plausible.

 

Majestic

先輩

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12 Oct 2013

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• 16 Jul 2014

• #11

Just a further note; I think ながら doesn't really work for the situation you are trying to translate, because ながら implies performing two actions simultaneously - "I am doing ABC while at the same time I am doing XYZ". You wouldn't use it to identify a time when you performed a specific action.

So I wouldn't use it as an exact translation of the English word "while". I think if you use ながら it carries the connotation of, "While I was driving to work I was also observing kangaroos".

And, sometimes you see ながら used in certain stock phrases

遅ればせながら
勝手ながら

Hopefully this makes sense.

 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

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15 Mar 2002

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• 16 Jul 2014

• #12

A couple more handy ones;

残念ながら
我ながら