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cloa513

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He is in first grade of elementary school. It is the strict language requirements and boring maths are probably what puts him off and there is a bully but we will deal with that separately. How can we deal with his dislike of strictly writing Japanese at school and for homework?
 

cloa513

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I am thinking Juku if it could be a fun experience learning Japanese and handling the maths and of course doing the homework (there is no learning with maths just drills over and over like currently small whole number subtraction with numbers between 12 and 0) then he wouldn't be so negative against school But how to find a fun juku? There are lots around my station.
 

johnnyG

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Did he go to either daycare (hoikuen) or kindergarten (youchien)?

Both of those are modern versions of the extended family, and especially important for a first/only kid.

Without those, being dropped right into 1st grade (especially without good japanese competency) will certainly be a problem.
 

cloa513

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Thanks for your reply. He went to one year of Yochien and my wife is Japanese and his Japanese grandparents live upstairs and one year of preprimary (English kindy) and he has no problem with speaking Japanese. It is the strict writing that is part of the problem also he draws on textbooks or does curcly numbers. He goes to the kindy's after school program which he loves. Japanese school's children being prone to violence is part of the problem. At preprimary he had mostly native Japanese classmates but no violence culture.
 

Majestic

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Maybe he has a friend in one of the jukus? If he is going with a friend, it would (obviously) be more fun. Online reviews would also be a resource to check out (though not always accurate). Also, convenience is a factor. If the place is inconvenient, and its a hassle for mom and dad to pick him up, it will affect all of you.

Regarding the violence, have you talked to the school about this? Bullying is a big problem, and is constantly in the news. I would think a school would be sensitive to this issue.

By the way, I think the problem of the kid hating school is temporary. Eventually he will get overcome this. Don't let it stress you out too much.
 

Buntaro

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Cloa,

Is there any chance you can send your son to an English-speaking school?
 

Muz1234

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Guys, lets say I am marry to a Japanese women, should I send the child for Japanese kindergarten or International?
 

cloa513

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Maybe he has a friend in one of the jukus? If he is going with a friend, it would (obviously) be more fun. Online reviews would also be a resource to check out (though not always accurate). Also, convenience is a factor. If the place is inconvenient, and its a hassle for mom and dad to pick him up, it will affect all of you.

Regarding the violence, have you talked to the school about this? Bullying is a big problem, and is constantly in the news. I would think a school would be sensitive to this issue.

By the way, I think the problem of the kid hating school is temporary. Eventually he will get overcome this. Don't let it stress you out too much.
If Japanese school were sensitive to the bullying issue then they would get on top of the cuture problem at the start of the year. The bully is a super bully who gets other children to hit my son for him and he when my son (in an unfathomable decision) accepted a play fight grabbed him around the neck but at l;east it is apparently not every day or even every week. My son is self-admitted the second worst child (not sure if he means just behavior or academics). He does his homework with his mother and there is some hysterics nearly every time. He does it in the end. Fortunately maths homework is finally changing but it is so much number writing (writing the full equation).
 

johnnyG

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(1) He went to one year of Yochien and my wife is Japanese and his Japanese grandparents live upstairs and (2) one year of preprimary (English kindy) and (3) he has no problem with speaking Japanese. (4) It is the strict writing that is part of the problem (5) also he draws on textbooks or does curcly numbers. (6) He goes to the kindy's after school program which he loves. (7) Japanese school's children being prone to violence is part of the problem. (8) At preprimary he had mostly native Japanese classmates but no violence culture.
Sorry for being away from this for a while. First the easy parts...

1-3, and also 6, would seem to be normal, or that they would aid/facilitate or go along with normality (in school life).

Also, you mention "a bully" in your first post, and here, in 7-8, it is being generalized as "children prone to violence" and "violence culture". Hopefully, it is just a problem with one student, that as you mention, could be dealt with separately--something specific to this one student.

• And the important question/point(s): Keeping 3 in mind, 4-5 make me wonder--how is his english writing? And secondarily, his reading in either language? And what is "curcly numbers"--is that curly/circle-y, or what?

So his speaking ability seems fine, but he has trouble with apparently 'strict' writing tasks/requirements (japanese). Which is why I ask about his english writing--how is he doing with that? This is the internet, and the posts here are the scarcest of evidence, and this is not at all my specialty, but if he has any trouble with english writing (and reading in either/both languages), then my wonderings jump to the possibility of dyslexia (which has many forms). And on the side of those thoughts, your mention that he 'does curcly numbers', which also may indicate some kind of difference in visual processing.

I guess that's it. Apart from writing, can he read in japanese--kana? Can he read in english? Does he write in english? Can he recognize individual numbers, and say what they are in English or Japanese?

Again, this is the internet, musings based on the smallest bits and pieces, so this could be way off the mark.
 

cloa513

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Sorry for being away from this for a while. First the easy parts...

1-3, and also 6, would seem to be normal, or that they would aid/facilitate or go along with normality (in school life).

Also, you mention "a bully" in your first post, and here, in 7-8, it is being generalized as "children prone to violence" and "violence culture". Hopefully, it is just a problem with one student, that as you mention, could be dealt with separately--something specific to this one student.

• And the important question/point(s): Keeping 3 in mind, 4-5 make me wonder--how is his english writing? And secondarily, his reading in either language? And what is "curcly numbers"--is that curly/circle-y, or what?

So his speaking ability seems fine, but he has trouble with apparently 'strict' writing tasks/requirements (japanese). Which is why I ask about his english writing--how is he doing with that? This is the internet, and the posts here are the scarcest of evidence, and this is not at all my specialty, but if he has any trouble with english writing (and reading in either/both languages), then my wonderings jump to the possibility of dyslexia (which has many forms). And on the side of those thoughts, your mention that he 'does curcly numbers', which also may indicate some kind of difference in visual processing.

I guess that's it. Apart from writing, can he read in japanese--kana? Can he read in english? Does he write in english? Can he recognize individual numbers, and say what they are in English or Japanese?

Again, this is the internet, musings based on the smallest bits and pieces, so this could be way off the mark.
Many children are prone to using violence for personal dispute even a girl on him once and as I indicated the bully gets other children to hit and there is the non-telling and covering for the bully. Many children in the kindy were violent- such as one who hit with sticks. My son was prone to putting English letters and more rately hiragana backwards for a long time but think he is all fixed to writing correctly in Japanese and English but sloppily. Curly is I don't care. He is prone to saying it doesn't matter if he does things right or not. He can read in both languages. Strict writing is writing following correct stroking including positioning and ordering.
 

bentenmusume

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There's no guarantee that any kid won't be bullied, even if they were in your home country and going to a school entirely in English or whatever.

I got the **** bullied out of me growing up as a white American in the United States.

You can't prevent things from happening. What you can do is be there when your kid needs you and understand them and let them know they're loved.

Just don't give up. If you think the school is at fault, keep talking to the teachers. Even if you're banging your head against a brick wall, if you're doing it for your kid's sake just keep doing it. But if it doesn't change anything...so be it. Just keep being there for the kid. At the end of the day, your son's happiness will be more dependent on his relationship with you and his mom than whatever happens at his elementary school, which -- while it might seem like the beginning and end of the world now -- will just be a small part of things by the time he's an adult.
 
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cloa513

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My wife has talked to them. So far she says that juku is more expensive 5 万 円 than our after school English program  which is 3 万円
 
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