Life and beliefs on a sword?

[Glenn]

There's this sentence that I've come across that originally comes from 幕末機関説いろは～ (there's more, but it's long). I've been wondering exactly how to translate it so that I can convey the original sense but also make sense in English. It's pretty difficult (for me, anyway). Here it is:

男が、男として生き、その命と信念を一振りの刀に懸け て戦った最後の時代：幕末。

I can't come up with anything that I like. I think probably the best I've come up with was "it was the last time when men lived like men, and put their lives and beliefs on the line and fought with a sword: The Bakumatsu." It's a bit literal, though.

So there are a couple of challenges in this one. First, to me it seems important to have in there that it's a sword that's being used to fight. Just saying "put their lives on the line" doesn't seem to do the original justice, because, to me anyway, the sword is an important part because it marks and emphasizes a fundamental shift in Japanese history. The problem is the way I phrased it in English doesn't have a good feel to it. I've tried other permutations of those words like "it was the last time men lived as men, risking their lives and beliefs on a single sword." That leaves out "fighting," but I guess that's alright. I guess the reader can figure out what they were doing with the swords. It does, however, seem like a strange use of "risk" (a bit ambiguous).

The second challenge is just how to translate 幕末. I guess a footnote would do the trick, but I wonder if there's a way around that. Wikipedia's English page just has "Bakumatsu." I guess "The Revolution" could convey the turmoil of the period, but I don't think it's used at all in reference to 幕末.

Anyway, this is just sort of an exercise I created for myself, because I was imagining myself having to translate and explain that sentence to someone who didn't know any Japanese or Japanese history, and I found myself having problems like the ones above. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to how best translate this sentence, and think it would be interesting to see other people's suggestions.

 

[epigene]

Just my quick two yen:

Bakumastsu: End of the Shogunate (bakufu ) regime.

The point in the translation: The men gambled/committed their lives and beliefs on (use of) their swords.

The final years of the shogunate--the last period when men fought like men and entrusted their lives and beliefs on (the use of) their swords.

Please improve on this!

 

[Glenn]

I kind of like it. I didn't even think about inverting the structure. I think it works pretty well, actually. In fact, one of the things I really wanted to avoid was a sort of drawn out explanation of what 幕末 was, because it felt like it would take away from the punch you get with a concise word or phrase, but having the structure inverted seems to deal with that nicely.

Ideally I'd like it to have the same structure, though, and I think that "on a single sword" is good for 一振りの刀に. I like the ring of it. I just don't know if it's possible to get exactly what I'm after. Maybe, "the fall of the shogunate -- the last time that men lived as men and entrusted their lives and beliefs on a single sword." It could probably still use some work, but it's coming along. I like your choice of "entrusted" too, by the way. I think it does a better job than my "risk" from above, although there does still seem to be some ambiguity in there. That may just be something that I have to deal with, though, unless someone else has a better suggestion. Nice job!

 

[AJBryant]

Well, in English academic use, the word used *is* "bakumatsu." Alternatively, "the end of the shogunate" is about as concise as you can get.


Tony

 

[Glenn]

Right, but like I said, this was for people who don't know any Japanese or Japanese history, so definitely not anyone who would be familiar with the academic use. Maybe we should invent a term, like "shogunal revolution" or something. Ha, that makes even less sense. Although, I guess if they were curious enough they'd end up having to look it up anyway. "Bakumatsu" at the beginning may be the best way to go, because there's some sort of explanation following it.

"(The) Bakumatsu -- the last time that men lived as men and entrusted their lives and beliefs on a single sword."

That could (still use some) work.

 

[grapefruit]

How about using the word "commit"?

 

[Charles Barkley]

Bakumatsu-- the end of the era when men were men and staked their lives and honor on a single sword. どう？



I think it has a decent ring. "on the sword" also sounds good and echoes the phrase "live by the sword, die by the sword."

I like honor here because when you are talking about knights, or cowboys, or soldiers, or whomever, honor is frequently used to describe the ideals that person lives and dies for. A martyr or a scholar dies for his beliefs, a soldier (or Man) dies for his honor, though they may be thought of as the same thing.

Note on the post before mine: You don't entrust something on something, you entrust to

 

[srintuar]

幕末
could be "The end of the Day's of the Samurai "

"Sunset of the old Japan"

"The closing of the era of the Shogun "

In English we don't usually use a single word that denotes the end of something.
So unless you want to simply define the term, you have to paraphrase it. (and if you want to define it, you had better not translate it at all, just leave it as "bakumatsu")



男が、男として生き、その命と信念を一振りの刀に懸け て戦った最後の時代：幕末。

Wildly paraphrased: "It was the dusk of the age of the samurai: a time when a man could still live like a man, balancing his life and honor on the edge of his sword."

 

[Glenn]

I like them. I guess it's about as close as you can get to the original and make it sound good in English. I'm not sure if I like the more straightforward approach of Charles Barkley or the more flowery and poetic approach of srintuar, but I think they both work pretty well.