There are two different ways of counting the days. In Eastern Japan, "shonanoka(the first 7th day) is usually the 7th day from the date of the death(including the day), i.e., 29th August and the 49 days is 10th October, whereas in Western Japan, where I live, shonanoka is usually the the 6th day from the date, i.e., 28th August and the 49 days is 9th October.
As Mike-san wrote, 49 days ceremony is sometimes done on week end, so it's no problem if the date is BEFORE the true 49th day. However, in some regions, there is another custom that 49 days is never done two months later from the death. In this case, 49 days is done in the end of September, e.g. 25th/26th September (35 days).
This should really be the last question, has anyone taken part in a bone ceremony before? Reason I ask is from my research I am not sure if I have got it correct because of lack of specific information.
This is how I got it so far in my story:
There is a table containing 2 ceramic urns (urn 1 and urn 2). There are four trays containing bones, two trays belongs to one dead body (so belongs to one urn), the other two trays belonging to the other dead body (so goes in other urn).
There are four children around the table. 2 children picking through urn 1 tray of bones, 2 children picking through the other two trays for the other urn.
When a bone is picked by one child (starting with feet), then they place the bone in the relevant urn and give their chopsticks to the next guy waiting as he/she has a go.
The above is what I got so far in my story, but I do have a couple of questions as well as needing to know if the above is suitable:
1: Will the urns contain the relevant ashes of the decease already before the bones are placed?
2: Do the bones have to be passed child to child before being placed in the urn? (meaning the children will have to work together for one bone)
3. Can the bone ceremony happen for two dead people at same time or does it have to be done individually?
4. Is it suitable for a child to pick a bone and then give to next child? Or is it those selected that have to do whole ceremony. Or can it be the children pick some bones out and then they get called to change with another four children who are waiting behind?
5.I heard the adam's apple is most important and must be picked by family members, so I am assuming it is true this goes last before the skull?
6: Are the bones mixed up in a tray when delivered and need to be picked out by knowing which bones to pick first?
That I believe is all the questions I need to ask and it is final part of research and the funeral part in the story is complete. Any help like always will be greatly appreciated.
P.S I am planning for the guest children to do the bone picking, then the parent's children who are frightened to see their parent's bones picked will force themselves to pick the adam's apple bone together and place in urn before a friend says they will finish it off by placing the pieces of the skull in the urn