I'm bored

[Davey]

Not sure if this belongs in the chit chat or serious discussion section. Guess it kind of depends on how the thread goes... if it will go somewhere... lol.

I'm bored... I have a job that makes me work until late at night that I don't like, I have 2 kids (3rd coming up), a wife ... and I feel there is more than life than just this. doing the same things over and over every day, it makes me feel bored and I am getting boring as well. Would love to spice up my life a bit more without using too much money, and there are some extreme decisions that I could take but well I am not ready for that much adventure yet .

Do you feel bored in life sometimes? how do you make your life more interesting?

 

[thomas]

DB conversions...... I swear you won't be bored.

 

[Davey]

From being bored to getting sick... not sure if that's the right thing to do

 

[FrustratedDave]

I don't know how old you are, but I am 37 this year and I have been having the same thoughts over the last few years. Work is rather stressful and I have to work long hours and I have two kids, which means going to the park just about every weekend. Look , I love my kids, but there is only so much an adult can take of jungle-jim's week in week out! Sure the kids never get bored running around all afternoon, but deep down I sure would love to be doing something else.

I don't know, I know I am working hard now for my families future, so I am not going to give in that easily, I supposse we just need to keep on plugging along.

And look at what Thomas said, DB conversions are lots of fun. I actually started programming out of boredom about 5 years ago! LOL

 

[Mike Cash]

Being bored is a choice.

 

[nahadef]

Well, I know the feeling deeply. I used to dj, scuba dive, and travel regularly before getting married and having a kid. The time and money just isn't plausible. On top of that, I've gained 10 kilo since I'm just getting used to my new normal (I moved from Okinawa to Sapporo). This was a big negative for my lifestyle.

Alone time is key for me. Watching TV, and to an extent, web-surfing, just numb my soul. A long walk a few times a week, plus doing art, which is relatively cheap, make the day better. But it is hard for me to get one full day alone. My wife took my daughter home last Obon , and it was pretty excellent. Boredom isn't my biggest problem at the moment since I'm focused on some hobbies.

What things get you excited? You can always start something new.

 

[Mark of Zorro]

Mistress. Get a mistress. They don't grow on trees, but there are some women who just want a guy to hang out with and get it on and don't want a husband or serious BF and won't eat your time and your money.

People don't usually float that option and I have had to discover for myself, while floating in a sea of boredom and misery, that Maslow was right and sex is a need...not just sex...but satisfying sex. I know now that my happiness and life satisfaction are quite tied to it, and there is no fooling myself with other activities that frankly sex negative and prissy people would approve of.

Of course I will allow that we are all different and it might not be what you need at all. But on the other hand it might be precisely what you need, and the intolerance and denial that generally follows that simple fact annoys the hell out of me. Everyone deserves life satisifaction except those who are only satisfied by raw, unconsentual sadism and death.

If your wife no longer does it for you, or does not even really do it at all, its a fact of life. But its NOT something to break up a family over. Just be responsible and careful and keep it quiet.

 

[nahadef]

...that frankly sex negative and prissy people would approve of.

For the record, having a semi-honest relationship with your wife is not sex negative nor prissy, which is the number one reason people don't cheat on their spouses: not lying day after day.

 

[Davey]

I don't know how old you are, but I am 37 this year and I have been having the same thoughts over the last few years. Work is rather stressful and I have to work long hours and I have two kids, which means going to the park just about every weekend. Look , I love my kids, but there is only so much an adult can take of jungle-jim's week in week out! Sure the kids never get bored running around all afternoon, but deep down I sure would love to be doing something else.

I don't know, I know I am working hard now for my families future, so I am not going to give in that easily, I supposse we just need to keep on plugging along.

And look at what Thomas said, DB conversions are lots of fun. I actually started programming out of boredom about 5 years ago! LOL

I'm 28... bit early for a midlife crisis kana.

Same here work late, park in the weekends.. want to give attention to the kids but it's hard sometimes (and to be honest it makes me feel like a bad father as well).

I got my things after work, watching a movie in the cinema, visiting onsen, going for a run so that helps a bit... but not enough.

programming... it's what I do at work but it drives me even crazier lol

Being bored is a choice.

And I choose not to be bored anymore so that's why I am asking for advice so if you have any idea on how I could make my life more interesting except for just quitting my job now, and divorce my wife.

Well, I know the feeling deeply. I used to dj, scuba dive, and travel regularly before getting married and having a kid. The time and money just isn't plausible. On top of that, I've gained 10 kilo since I'm just getting used to my new normal (I moved from Okinawa to Sapporo). This was a big negative for my lifestyle.

Alone time is key for me. Watching TV, and to an extent, web-surfing, just numb my soul. A long walk a few times a week, plus doing art, which is relatively cheap, make the day better. But it is hard for me to get one full day alone. My wife took my daughter home last Obon, and it was pretty excellent. Boredom isn't my biggest problem at the moment since I'm focused on some hobbies.

What things get you excited? You can always start something new.

I thought moving to Okinawa would be one of the best things to do in life, but I guess it's not

Guess we have to have patience until the kids get older and the money and amount of time is there.... although it's a waste of time in one way.

I'll try to start something new, although the same with you I only have that much money and time.

 

[Davey]

@Mark of Zorro

it's an option if I would even get more bored thanks for your input

 

[Mark of Zorro]

@Mark of Zorro

it's an option if I would even get more bored thanks for your input

You are most welcome. Do what you need to do short of intentionally hurting people...but...I hope that "even more bored" won't be a funk from which you won't be able to find that mistress if you find you really need her. I found that dating skills can be easily lost without use and getting them back from a state of depression is like pulling teeth.

Whatever you choose, good luck. And feel free to PM me if you have anything to say you don't want to air openly. I don't pull punches and I won't mess with your head, and those tend to run me afoul of some people's PC expectations.

 

[Mark of Zorro]

For the record, having a semi-honest relationship with your wife is not sex negative nor prissy, which is the number one reason people don't cheat on their spouses: not lying day after day.

Society being sex negative and prissy and social conditioning others to be so is the reason why being semi-honest became necessary. And sex negative and prissy people support that status quo to the detriment of a LOT of people.

Probably saddest of all is when people become semi-honest with their very selves over this rigamarole. I mean if its not for you, fine. But laying guilt trips on others for being human is wrong. Expecting them to go nuts for denying their humanity is wrong too.

 

[thomas]

I'm 28... bit early for a midlife crisis kana.

Matey, you started "life" really early, so I guess you're entitled to an early midlife crisis!

I thought moving to Okinawa would be one of the best things to do in life, but I guess it's not.

It's escapism. Doesn't matter where you are, life will always catch up with you.

I'll try to start something new, although the same with you I only have that much money and time.

I recommend cycling or any other physically straining sport (no, not darts, billiards or golf). The bicycle has changed my life completely: the feeling of freedom (even if illusory), and the fact that you leave pent-up aggression and frustration on the asphalt.

Rubber down!

Oh, as for having an affair: not a good idea IMO. What does being true and loyal to your spouse or partner have to do with being prissy?

 

[Mark of Zorro]

Oh, as for having an affair: not a good idea IMO.

It may or may not be. Davey is of course the best judge.

What does being true and loyal to your spouse or partner have to do with being prissy?

My question is, what does being loyal and true have to do with sex and genitals? Now, falling in love, that would be another matter entirely. Of course, I could and probably should write a manual on how to properly have a mistress. One should not dive into it casually, but carefully and responsibly. But if one is going to leave one's spouse one should just do that up front.

I am going to try and not comment on this any further here. I don't want to hijack the thread.

 

[Davey]

no worries, you can go on (grin)

 

[Petaris]

Wow Davey! I thought you were my age or a bit older but you're actually several years younger!

I have the same issues here in the states. It's a universally experienced problem!

You could get into photography. You can do it with any decent camera, it doesn't have to be a pricy one. Or sailing, but that gets pricy no matter what you do.

 

[Davey]

yeah, too young to feel like this so i have decided to work on my own stuff at night (which means less sleep, but i wont die from that) .

photography is a nice idea... instagram for now

sailing would be awesome! got to make some new friends then!

2

 

[nahadef]

Truth is, I was 28 when I came to Japan. That's when I started learning Japanese, and took up the hobbies I did here. I came here because I was bored in my hometown.
I can't imagine already being locked in with kids at that point.
It may be a matter of holding out for another 15 years for the kids to grow up, and then starting a "phase two," whatever that means. I totally understand the desire to keep a stable home to raise kids in. Just be happy that 40 isn't nearly as old as it was a few decades ago

 

[Mark of Zorro]

It seems so simple, but just renting and watching a good movie can be pretty uplifting and inspiring.

 

[Davey]

lol... but after watching the movie it sometimes feels like waking up on a Monday morning.

Last night I decided to go for a drive and ended up here though:

有馬温泉 - 太閤の湯

www.taikounoyu.com

(little pleasures in life)

 

[FrustratedDave]

I'm 28... bit early for a midlife crisis kana.
Same here work late, park in the weekends.. want to give attention to the kids but it's hard sometimes (and to be honest it makes me feel like a bad father as well).
I got my things after work, watching a movie in the cinema, visiting onsen, going for a run so that helps a bit... but not enough.
programming... it's what I do at work but it drives me even crazier lol

I figured that is what you did. I could not program day in day out, I would go crazy. LOL

I know you have your 'things', I do too, but still does not stop the fact that you feel something is missing or that you want more. I don't have much advise for you, b/c I am going through the same stage I feel. And having money is no good if you can't use it.

 

[Mars Man]

Interesting. Of course I did catch glimpses of this thread in the New Threads area, but didn't really come here, nor look into it. I now kind of worry; in a way. I guess, however, that more than being able to offer suggestions, I'd want to ask questions. For that reason, I am not sure what to do--if, in fact, I should do anything. It is said that boredom is a choice, as Mike had pointed out, but it is also known that boredom can result in some neuromodulation/transmitter quantity (or receptor count) scenarios.

However, it is true that if one were to want to kind of go for a drive, make an escape (if only for a while, as it were), it might be just perfect to well, uh... OH ... I know, make a short escape up to the heavenly doors of BBQ and all-night darts !! The last time I checked, that seems to only have been happening (around this general time of year) in some little corner out in the 'out back' of Shinshu... wherever that happens to be. I guess one could check a map, or something... maybe google it. If I were you, that's what I would do. At least until the time came to have to go back to the regular routine, boredom would be a figment of the imagination at worst, a hidden memory trace in inaccessable pre-conscious neural tissue at best.

 

[Mycernius]

My job gets to me, or rather the halfwit who sorts the runs out. To get over it I am out almost every night of the week. I dance, do archery and a cub leader. Ithey give me things to do. Plus I read a lot and do spend a lt of time on discussion pages on FB.

 

[Hezam]

Boredom is becoming a disease.
But Davey and everyone who reads my post, Remember one thing, Remember that when you back from work you back home, To your family when millions of people have no families or they don't see their families for years.

When you are bored you can play guitar/Violin/Flute etc...or any sports...
I wish i can have an Oud ( Old version of guitar ) or flute or any musical instrument.
But i spend my free time watching American Movies/TV serieses and sometimes i run Photoshop to design somethings.
I'm thinking of Reading "1001 Nights" book ..It will be very fun to read 1001 stories, I'm very excited

Plus, I'm jealous of thomas, he can ride his bicycle and enjoy the views QQ....It's shame that people here will laugh at me if i ride a bicycle..

 

[zoomingjapan]

I wish I could give you some useful advice, but I fear I can't.
My situation is quite different from yours. I'm female, 32 and I have no family or kids here in Japan.

I do not know the feeling of boredome and I can't understand people who say they're bored.
I always have so many things to do. Some of them because I want to do them, others because I have to do them.
I mostly like my full-time job, but it takes too much time away from all the other things I want or need to do. And there are many of them! I already had to cut down quite a bit, but there's never enough time in a day to get all of them done.
Currently I'm really busy with my blog and with traveling some more.

I can't imagine that I'll ever get bored.

And I'm not even sure if "bored" is the right word for your situation. It's more like you feel a little bit frustrated because you think there's gotta be more than just that.
I think what other suggested is a good start! Try out different things and see if you can find something you like! Do it ONLY for yourself!
I can imagine how difficult it must be to have almost no time for yourself or time where you're alone anymore.