Get my way! Song translation proof-read please?

[Janet Merai]

Get my Way!
川田まみ

凪いだ心の帆に 風が吹き抜けてった
ーないだ/こころ/ほ/かぜ/ふ/ぬ
気持ち揺れる
ーきも/ゆ
そして lose my way
ずっと君がいるならいいか それも悪くはない
ーきみ/わる
so I go together.
-
Become calm heart sails to wind blown through feeling/emotion shake always you if exists? bad is not
--
Becalmed, my heart sails as the wind has blown through and shakes my nerves.
And so, I lose my way.
It would be great if you stay but it's sad you won't.
(Thanks to Mike Cash for the suggestion)

天気予報なんてない 全部気分次第
何にも心配ない 任せて! 自由自在
ーてんきよほ/ぜんぶ/きぶんしだい/なん/しんぱい/まか/じゆうじざい
Looks like theres no weather report, don't worry about it just entrust everyone!
蹴り上げた靴に'Put a wish'絶対晴れる!
ーけ/あ/くつ/ぜったい/は
Nothing is clear, 'put a wish' in the shoes you had kicked!
結果は… I'm looking at nothing…
もう一度、やり直し!
ーけっか/いちど/なお
It seems like... I'm looking at nothing... I'll redo it, once more!
たまには賭けてみよう ねえ君に委ねてみたい
ーか/きみ/ゆだ
Occasionally I gamble as a way of seeing, hey it seems like I trust you

颯爽と駆け抜けてto fly 晴れ間が見えるthe sky
I'm dashing and running to fly, I see the sky is clearing.
信じてたよ
You've definetly trusted me
そして make my way
And so I make my way.
そっと差し出す君の手で 無敵になれるから
Gently hold out your hand, because we are becoming invincible, so I go together.
so I go together.


本当は寂しくって… なんて見せたくない!
I'm truly lonely... why I hadn't I seen it!
追いかけて欲しくって 1人で飛び出した
I wanted you to come and fly!

わがままになるのは それだけ君に夢中だから
I've become so selfishly engrossed, although it's just for you.

つむじ風さらう心に 怖さは消えていった
そばにいてよ
そしてfeel my way
きっと素直になれるように 夜空に願うよ
Please take me together.
The wind took a strand of my cherished hair, it will be bad if it disappeared, it's gone to the side and feel my way.
Surely I'll be more aware to the night sky I wish on.

颯爽と駆け抜けてto fly 晴れ間が見えるthe sky
信じてたよ
そしてget my way
だって君のその笑顔に 勝るものなどない
so I go together.
So that is your smile, it won't be surpassed, so I go together.

星がキレイだ 明日も晴れるさ
Its a beautiful star and tomorrow will be clear.

I ran out of time and rushed, I'm trying to do one a day :3
Thank you if you can proof read these again X3

 

[Mike Cash]

Try using the no longer common word "becalmed"

 

[Janet Merai]

Thank you for the suggestion Mike :3

Is there anything else translation wise or grammatically that seems off or incorrect as well?

 

[Toritoribe]

Too many to point out, as same as the two threads you posted previously. I didn't point out all your mistakes, since that means I have to correct almost all your translations.

It seems that what you've been doing is just to GUESS the meaning of the sentence from the fragmented pieces of words. That's not the TRANSLATION.

I recommend to do step-by-step, sentence-by-sentece. Don't hurry.

 

[Janet Merai]

Instead of doing it daily I'll take my time on it :3

 

[Toritoribe]

Does that mean you are going to leave the mistakes and continue to misunderstand the meaning of the lyrics without learning anything from your mistakes?:?

 

[Janet Merai]

Does that mean you are going to leave the mistakes and continue to misunderstand the meaning of the lyrics without learning anything from your mistakes?:?

I can see how that can be misunderstood :3

No, I will continue to see the errors in my translations, I just need to learn from my mistakes and learn proper grammar and structure :3

 

[Toritoribe]

Oh, then, why do you do the same things repeatedly? You don't parse the sentence and continue to GUESS the meaning. I don't know why...

凪いだ心の帆に 風が吹き抜けてった
Becalmed, my heart sails as the wind has blown through

What is the main verb? What is the function of 凪いだ? What is the function of の and に in 心の帆に? What is the part of speech for 帆? .....

 

[Janet Merai]

Oh, then, why do you do the same things repeatedly? You don't parse the sentence and continue to GUESS the meaning. I don't know why...
凪いだ心の帆に 風が吹き抜けてった
Becalmed, my heart sails as the wind has blown through
What is the main verb? What is the function of 凪いだ? What is the function of の and に in 心の帆に? What is the part of speech for 帆? .....

I'm not so good at Japanese Grammar, something I am trying to work on :3

The main verb is 吹き抜けてった。
凪いだ seems to either function as a statement or is connecting the meaning of "to be calm" to a part of the sentence.
の possesses 心 and 帆 while に connects it to another segment?

 

[Toritoribe]

The main verb is 吹き抜けてった。

Yes, that's correct.

凪いだ seems to either function as a statement or is connecting the meaning of "to be calm" to a part of the sentence.

When 凪いだ is used as a verb, the subject must be indicated(e.g. 風が凪いだ/海が凪いだ), or at least it must be obvious from the context. In that verse, 凪いだ is put at the beginning of the sentence, thus, it can be considered to be used adjectively there. When used adjectively, the modified noun is put right after the word in most cases. From all these facts, you can consider that 凪いだ modifies 心の帆.

の possesses 心 and 帆

の shows 心 possesses 帆, just like "the sail in mind".

に connects it to another segment?

Yes, that's ～に吹き抜けてった. に indicates the direction the wind blows in this case.

凪いだ心の帆に風が吹き抜けてった
The wind has blown through to the becalmed sail in my mind.

気持ち揺れる
My heart wavers.


ずっと君がいるならいいか それも悪くはない
It would be great if you stay but it's sad you won't.

いいか is used as an interjection, meaning "all right/OK". The normal order of words is いいか ずっと君がいるならそれも悪くはない.

You assumed that the subject of ない is 君, but you need to know ない can't be used for animated things. 悪くはない is a negative form of 悪い, as same as 悪くない.

それ refers to the things mentioned in the previous sentences.

 

[Janet Merai]

It makes more sense now :3

I have carefully reviewed your suggestions and advice, I'll take a look at my erroneous translations once I stud ly grammar more in a book I got :3