eye contact problem.....plz help !!!!

[Hime]

Peace be upon you all..

I have a problem with eye contact issue

I am doing an interview with my Professor today considering him as a stakeholder of a project and I will be as a developer asking about the requirements of a new system.
one of the main issues in doing interview is looking at the interviewee eyes to make him/her feel confident

I cant look at someone eyes for a long time whether its a man or woman....what I can do?

I feel shy if looking at someone eyes for more than 10 minutes
even thought I used to be very social person but when it comes to eye contact.........it just cant help


I am having the interview after few hours
plz help with any suggestion or comment

 

[Tsuyoiko]

I have mixed feelings about the eye contact thing. If you hold it for too long I think it makes you seem arrogant. How would you feel if someone was constantly staring into your eyes for a full conversation? I'd feel pretty intimidated. Also, if you feel uncomfortable doing it that's sure to come across. I'd say just do what feels natural; look into his eyes when it seems appropriate, and look away when you feel the need. I always find that if you look away when you're thinking that seems natural enough. Also, if there is any paperwork involved, you can look at that sometimes to break it up a bit.

 

[bakaKanadajin]

When I either don't wish to, or feel I can't make eye contact with someone for whatever reason, I consciously choose the moments when I should do so (the moments when anyone else would) and aside from those moments I try to, I guess, seem focused on what I'm trying to say by staring at the ground, like I'm really thinking hard, or stare at my hands as a I gesture, or I dunno, whatever seems natural but provides me with the opportunity to avoid eye contact.

You could also pretend to be taking notes, or just take lots of notes, write down everything he says in fact, and that'd be a good way to avoid eye contact.

 

[kukuruu]

When you are asking the questions, look at your papers (if you are using any notes - if not then look at the floor on your right, this is where our eyes naturally fall when we are thinking about something). When he is answering the question, keep as much eye contact as you can, every now and then looking back towards the floor on the right hand side. This way, he will subconsciously believe that you are thinking about his answer rather than being uninterested. When you are talking to him, lean forward and use hand gestures to show your enthusiasm about the topic. This will divert his attention from your nerves and also from your face, meaning that keeping eye contact is not so much a problem.
Asides from that, smile and relax. Don't worry about your eye contact too much. If you focus on the interview and enjoying talking to this man, then the eye contact will come naturally. However, if you spend the whole interview worrying about it, then the interview will not flow as easily and this will only make you more nervous.
So the key is to relax and do what comes naturally. Good luck
kxxx

 

[undrentide]

I think that looking into the person's eyes you're talking to all the time actually makes the person uncomfortable.
During the interview, I think that occasional eye contact should be sufficient.
Also, though it depends on the distance between the interviwer and yourself, if the person is male, you can look at his necktie not direct into his eyes.
(If the person is female, then, well, somewhere around her neck.)
Then the person can see you're looking at him, which means you are serious, and listening to him, and also you're confident yourself.

I wish you good luck!

 

[Hime]

Tsuyoiko...... probably if I was on the interviewee position I would not like someone to stare at my eyes all the time, the problem is that My professor was stressing on that point and the interview was marked. I think we did well I tried to manage as much as possible to look at his eyes .....
the paperwork was someone else responsibility in the group I was the one who ask and discuss that's why

bakakanadajin......... I think it will be hard to stare at my hand, the interviewee will think that I am not paying attention to him. I think official interviews are different than usual meetings
Kukuruu..............yup this is what I was doing, I was looking at the papers when I asked the questions, then I looked at him again. I guessed that was very natural
undrentide.............I think you might be right at this, but I think my professor was stressing on that point to make us be prepared to the real workplaces where we really have to be careful on eye contact issues. I think My Professor was not feeling any uncomfortable at all......because he is used to do such things with students while training them
Thanks guys for all your inputs

 

[kukuruu]

You're very welcome.
Glad it all went well.
kxxx