That's why you should make a journal and/or a thread specifically for that.My wife won't take me to any parties anymore , LOL. Everyone pulls up a chair around me to hear my war stories. I got to see and hear a lot of amazing things in my 17 years as a home care nurse. My 2 years in Japan were even more amazing. My major issue here on JREF is I get carried away and off topic and set a bad example for following the rules here. My self guilt is horrible and I often stick my tongue in a lamp socket for punishment.
They're pretty much all in here already. You just need to dig for them.@Grandpa Frank , you should make a big journal where everyday, you post another one of your crazy stories. That would easily be the most popular thread/journal on the forum!
Yeah probably.They're pretty much all in here already. You just need to dig for them.
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So, yesterday we were sitting in class and I did a little stretch and she laughed a little bit so I teased her a little bit (maybe a good sign?). After class we got on the train to go back home. Instead of sitting with her friends she sat with me, and we talked a while, I know it may not mean much but I enjoyed it. After a little bit I asked if her and her friends would like to get lunch to which they agreed and we went to lunch. After lunch her friends separated from us and I walked her home.Hudts, you have learned a painful lesson, which is this: when you meet a girl you like, put all romantic thoughts aside and work on becoming friends first. No dates or any romantic stuff for the first six months. (This is true of all women but especially Japanese women.)
I am going to change my advice and tell you not to mention ping-pong for another six months. Treat her just like 'one of the guys' for the next six months. Just hang out. Build up a good, solid friendship first. Get it to the point where you can ask her if her parents are bothered by her hanging out with a foreigner. (It's way too early to ask her something like this right now.) I think you have 'spooked' her and it is going to take at least six months to get her 'unspooked.'
Keep us posted as to how it is going. All of us here on this forum are pulling for you!
That seems good! Especially if she allows you to tease her! And good job on including her friends to lunch with you two, that pretty much tells her that you care about her friends too, and I know from experience that girls like when you include their friend group. Good Job! I'd say this looks pretty hopeful for you! If she's allowing you to walk her home, that might mean that she trusts you. Again, Good Job!So, yesterday we were sitting in class and I did a little stretch and she laughed a little bit so I teased her a little bit (maybe a good sign?). After class we got on the train to go back home. Instead of sitting with her friends she sat with me, and we talked a while, I know it may not mean much but I enjoyed it. After a little bit I asked if her and her friends would like to get lunch to which they agreed and we went to lunch. After lunch her friends separated from us and I walked her home.
Thanks, we still have plans to go somewhere next weekend. One of her friends is going as well, so hopefully it will make her more comfortable. Yea, I was worried that walking her home would be awkward, but it really wasn't.That seems good! Especially if she allows you to tease her! And good job on including her friends to lunch with you two, that pretty much tells her that you care about her friends too, and I know from experience that girls like when you include their friend group. Good Job! I'd say this looks pretty hopeful for you! If she's allowing you to walk her home, that might mean that she trusts you. Again, Good Job!
She likes anime and has given me some recommendations to watch since I haven't watched anime in a long time and have only watched the older anime. We talked a bit about what she wanted to do after university and what classes she is taking. During which she showed me a project she is working on and I understood some of what she was doing in the project as I have done some very similar work before. I do feel uneasy because I start most of the conversations, even though her response times vary from instant to hours later. I assume due to having a part time job, but she replies nonetheless.Good job, Hudts. Keep building up the friendship. It's also important to find common interests the two of you can talk about. What common interests do the two of you have?
And, pretty soon you will have to talk to her about how she will feel if her parents see the two of you walking down the road together. If she asks why you are bringing this up for discussion, just say, "Because I am a gaijin, and some Japanese people feel uncomfortable whenever a gaijin is around." Her reaction to this statement will tell you a lot.
Yes, you need to get rid of the beard right away. It really puts you at a disadvantage in Japan. (And for god's sake I hope you don't have any tattoos, which mark you as a criminal in Japan.)
Oh, that's a relief to hear. I still don't know how she feels about us so that's something I need to confirm. I also shaved my beard because I wanted to try something after not shaving it for over a year.I've spent a lot of time on forums for foreigners in Japan, and the problem of Japanese parents disapproving of their son or daughter's non-Japanese partner comes up very rarely.
Thank you for the tip on the foreigner part. I think she is comfortable around me since I made sure to invite her friend to things we are doing. But now that it has been the second time we hung out, I'm going to try and ask her to go just the two of us together. Hopefully I get a good response.Your mileage may vary, but my experience in walking down the street with a Japanese girlfriend or for a short time wife was never negative by the people around me. Part of that may be because we only spoke Japanese together except for my first girlfriend when I didn't know the language yet. Just like today in America with my Chinese wife, people sometimes would stop us to tell us what a nice couple we are, and they were sincere.
However it is worth considering whether her experience would be the same, especially when the foreigner boy has left. It's never come up as a topic of conversation, so who knows? I personally wouldn't worry about that too much. That being said, parents have very different motivations than random people on the street, which need to be respected. If it comes to that, you need to be patient if your experience turns out similar to that of @Buntaro