Can broken trust be repaired?

[Julienne]

Just found another thread with a poll on cheating and whether or not you would accept it. Found it rather interesting and it also made me wonder about trust.

The reason I came to wonder about this is the fact that I have once cheated on my ex-boyfriend (I kissed another guy), and my current boyfriend knows about this and it is a very big deal for him. I have more than once thought he was over it, but it always comes back at some point, for some reason.
For example, I'm going to Japan next year for 4 months and I think that on a certain level he is actually expecting me to cheat on him!

So do you think, in general, that something like this can be fixed? That your bf/gf would let something like this go? (also lying and other things count; anything which might have damaged your or his/her trust) Or would you do so?

Let me know what your thoughts are.

 

[Anchyyy]

That's a tuff question you know. You didn't cheated on your present boyfriend, but he thinks you will. Try to explain him that you are not like that and that you really like him and won't cheat on him. He will surley start to trust you when some time passes. If no... i don't know what to do. If i were you i would probably leave him if he doesn't trust in me, because not trusting of your bf can lead to arguing and that's the worst.

 

[Julienne]

You have a point there, except that I have already done that, explain that that is not what I am like, and quite some time has actually already passed by... on August 1st we will be together for 2 years ...

And if it weren't me we're talking about here, I might even agree with you on the leaving him part... I can see myself telling someone else the same thing. But being where I am, I can't just reason that it's not good that he doesn't trust me completely, because I can't make such a desicion purely with my head. That would make life a lot less complicated though... if I would just be able to use my head and leave my heart out of it.

 

[ELECTRIC JAPAN]

Watch Out

A storm is coming closer by the power of a heavy machine.
This is betrayal.
Lightening rips blood red when betrayal happens.
If you hold me and I find out you cheated on my heart I will shread you apart.
Do not be trapped alone in guilt and crushed with deceiving my honey skin beauty.
Cheating is a dreadful way to live a life.
Look behind you as I bring my motorized headlights closer and closer.
We shared words of passion, the two of us alone under the sheets of passion.
What we had will never die,what I have is always for you.

Hold on to faith of the heart.

 

[dreamer]

A relation based on doubt is like a house without its foundations...it can crumble anytime...

 

[MajideSaiaku]

Why did you kiss another boy when you had a boyfriend anyway?.
As a bloke I will just say its very easy after hearing that for a bloke to get jelious....it isnt dis-trust, its jeliousy, pure and simple, when you love someone some blokes can get very insecure and worry of betrayal, perhaps they dont feel worthy of being in a relationship with the girl in question, or they dont considor themselves very attractive in any regard that they worry someone who makes them so happy could be robbed away suddenly by someone "better".
The kiss isnt the issue, its just a switch that activates the discussion.
Sit him down and look him in the eye and tell him in no uncertain terms that you love him, and only him, and that while you draw breath and your heart still beats your love is for him only and you would never betray him.
After that and assuming that eases all his concerns, its just a case of keeping your promise, which shouldnt be hard, if you have any sort of self control and actual love for your partner.
Best of luck.


Edit: also, I nearly forgot, be sincere. If you dont love him then no point making false promises, just be honest with him and say your just having fun with someone you like who you also have sex with, that way he gets to decide to if he wants to remain in a casual relationship.
It will also let him no your not obliged or hold any loyalty to remaining faithful to him, and he can again, decide if thats the knid of relationship he wants.

If you've only been goin gout a short while and he's getting like this dump him, I considor myself touchy feely and grippy with my girlfriends ppouring love at them but even i dont hold some fear of betrayal in the fest few months of relationship.

 

[Carlson]

I say yes. with time...