Refer to the following post.
Utterly Lost | Japan Forum
Just looked through the thread you linked. I've seen most of that before, but clearly I'm not understanding something still. For example, you mentioned the phrase:
公園でベンチに座った。
I sat down on a bench in a park.
The way I interpret this is that this event occurred in the past, which had to involve movement to the bench in the park, before you sat there. The に particle is appropriate here because there
was movement. But if I say:
公園でベンチに座っている。
I am sitting on a bench in a park.
--then I am already at the destination and am already doing the sitting, so there is no connotation of movement whatsoever. Thus if this phrase stands alone, I believe the park or bench would be more accurately described as a
location and
not a destination because there is no movement per se
. This is why に makes less sense to me than で.
Another thing you mentioned in that thread which was confusing:
"で indicates the location of action, whereas に is for destination or arrival point with connoting a nuance of "direction" when used with 座る or 停める "to park a car". In the first example below, "park" was the location where the action "sitting" took place, and "bench" was the destination the action "sitting" was done"
You delineate で and に by saying the former indicates a location of action while the latter indicates a destination. I understand this (I think), but where you say:
(the) "park" was the location where the action "sitting" took place, and "bench" was the destination the action "sitting" was done"
I feel that both the park and the bench are both 1) locations where the action was done and 2) destinations. Any destination
is a location, and many times vice versa is true, and so saying:
公園でベンチで座っている。
or:
公園にベンチに座った。
should also be valid.