Proof-Reading Palutena's Smash Bros. Reveal

[Janet Merai]

That is the video and it only has a few lines.

I know there is a dubbed version on YouTube and I have it downloaded for reference myself, but I want to improve my Japanese listening skills anyway.

However, I am requesting help with proof-reading and help with some parts I don't understand.

The end where she is talking about her attacks hasn't been translated by me yet and is very easy and clear for me to understand, the beginning is not so much.

(I know the dub is translated and there is probably a subtitled version, but I am doing this to learn)
I used Cogi, the iPhone/Android App, to record the audio so I can translate it easily.

First line with Palutena:
さすのはハイラレルついちの剣士、すごいですね。
The Swordsmen of Hyrule have their differences, amazing isn't it.
I'm pretty sure I got it wrong as I am having trouble with these particular words:
ついち、すごいですね
I thought I heard what I wrote but I could be wrong?

あぁら！やって見せる (Can't make out the rest)
Hyaa! Let me show... (Can't make out the rest)

パルテナさま！
助けてではありません。
Palutena!
I'm not here to help/save you.

パルテナ
参戦！！
Palutena
Joins the Fight!!

ちょっと面白いそうだな、って思ってだけです。
That seems somewhat interesting, but I think so.
I'm sure I got that partially wrong.

The rest can easily be done by me, so that is where I end my need for a proof-read :3
Thank you, I appreciate any help I can get, I want to improve my listening skills :3
I'm not asking anyone to translate it for me but to help me understand what I did wrong, could improve on and insight as to what I should have done.
Thank you! :3

 

[Toritoribe]

さすがはハイラル随一[ずいいち]の剣士。手強[てごわ]いですね。

なんの！伊達に死線は越えてませんよ！

助けたのではありませんよ。ちょっと面白そうだなって思っただけです。
(Notice that 面白いそう and 面白そう are completely different in meaning.)


You got partially (only パルテナさま！) correct. I'm afraid I have to give you F...

 

[Janet Merai]

Thank you Toritoribe! :3

To me, getting an F or failing tells me where my level of understanding is and I thank you for that :3

I see I got nearly everything wrong, but I expect that in my quest to better understand spoken Japanese! :3
Can't improve without failing!

I will take what you corrected and work on that, thank you! :3
I'll have something soon.

 

[Janet Merai]

I included Toritoribe's corrections.

Honestly, I am not sure if I got anything wrong but I want to ensure that I can learn from and understand what I missed.
At this point, I put a lot of effort into listening and comprehending things including looking up some of the translated words online to understand it better.

So here, I again request help to do the same thing as before.
Understand any errors I made, gain insight as to what I could have done better and suggestions contextually or anything that helps me move forward in my quest to listen to Japanese better :3

Thank you, I appreciate any help! :3

パルテナ：さすがはハイラル随一の剣士。手強いですね。
Palutena: As expected of Hyrule's best Warriors. They sure are strong.

ピット：なんの！伊達に死線は越えてませんよ！
As if! Your style won't carry on even in death!

ピット：パルテナさま。
Palutena.

パルテナ：助けたのではありませんよ。ちょっと面白そうだなって思っただけです。
I didn't come here to save you.
This became somewhat interesting though.

Note from Toritoribe
(Notice that 面白いそう and 面白そう are completely different in meaning.)

パルテナ
参戦！！
Palutena
Joins the Fight!!

ピット：えぇ？
パルテナさまで戦いるんですか？
Huh?
Palutena is in Battle?

パルテナ：アラ。ピットくん、ではアシスタントことがありませんね。
Well.
Pit, I am not assisting you.

ピット：いやあの時は本当の次回はパルテナさまをあやつピットだからで。
Not sure I even got everything right. - Not a Translation

パルテナ：天使できた女神できない終わりません。
Not sure how to translate this or if I got it right.
Its not over yet, I became an Angel and not a Goddess.

ピット、守って風がとして。
Pit, the Wind is protecting you.
I doubt I got this right.

お見せしましょう！
Let me show you!

変の光！
Strange/Small Light!
Not sure really.

マフエ！
Not sure what this is.

テレポート！
Teleport!

ロケットジェット！
Rocket Jet!

代謝な！・たいしゃな！
Regeneration! (Could be wrong)
Dub says "Reflect."

オットーそうきゅう！
(I don't know if its そうじゅう or something else.)
Auto Ball Throw! (I tried)
Dub says "Auto Retticle."

ライタージャンプ！
Lighter Jump!

カウンター！
Counter!

助力だす！
Assistance!
Not sure.

人間ミサイル！
Human Missile!

打上花火！
Launch Fireworks!

ヘーローか（？）
Dub says "Lightweight."
Not sure.

ブラックホールー！
Black Hole!

そして、アロービーム！
Also, Arrow Beam!
Dub says "Mega Laser!"

パルテナさま、忘れてし。
Palutena, I forgot (Is he saying he didn't because of the し at the end?)
Dub has Pit saying "You don't have to prove anything to me Lady Palutena."

ああぁ、天使、時間使用な？
Aaah, Angels, together this time?
Dub say's "Looks like Angels, only ?"

ここにはできてのファイター厚真ているできます。
Many great Fighters came to gather here
Dub says "Many worthy folks have gathered here."

こんもう少しだけ、本気をだしてもいいですよね。
However, can I be serious a bit longer?
(Not sure how well I did on that)
Dub says "And I won't hold back on anyone."

五分さてしてましたね？
Well, we are even aren't we?

まあな。
Appears so.

 

[Toritoribe]

パルテナ：さすがはハイラル随一の剣士。手強いですね。
Palutena: As expected of Hyrule's best Warriors. They sure are strong.

The subject is "he".

ピット：なんの！伊達に死線は越えてませんよ！
As if! Your style won't carry on even in death!

The subject is "I".

パルテナ：助けたのではありませんよ。ちょっと面白そうだなって思っただけです。
I didn't come here to save you.
This became somewhat interesting though.

Your translation is for 助けにきたのではありませんよ.
Why you changed your initial translation of the second sentence?


えっ！パルテナ様って戦えるんですか？

あら、ピットとも手合せしたこともありますよね。

いやあの時は、混沌の使いがパルテナ様を操っていたからで。

天使にできて女神にできないことなどありません。
かつてはピットを守った数々の奇跡、お見せしましょう。
天の光！
爆炎！
テレポート！
ロケットジャンプ！
反射板！
オート照準！
グライダージャンプ！
カウンター！
超速ダッシュ！
人間ミサイル！
打上花火！
軽量化！
ブラックホール！(The long vowel mark at the end of the word is unnecessary.)
そして、アロービーム！

パ、パルテナ様恐るべし。

これは天使もタジタジよのう。

ここには歴戦のファイターが集まっていると聞きます。
ほんの少しだけ、本気を出してもいいですよね。

あら、御無沙汰してましたね。

まあな。


Fs again both for listening comprehension and translation.

As for listening comprehension, it's not just "listening" but also vocabulary and knowledge in grammar. For instance, if you grasp verb conjugations completely, you can easily recognize 戦いる doesn't exist, or if you know grammar decently, 天使できた女神できない終わりません is odd.

 

[Janet Merai]

I recognize that Toritoribe, and it is something I am working on :3

So far I am listening to Japanese Comedy to hear it all the time and working on that translation based on your corrections :3

As for your notes, I will go in order.

That makes sense now, seeing as how she is referring to Hyrule.
How did I not catch that? XD

I would have to say this might be a proper translation:
Pit: "As if! I won't die by the likes of you!"

I'm not sure why I changed it to be honest, might have been a typo or I forgot something.

Pit: Eeh! "Palutena" is able to Fight?

Palutena: Ah, Sir Pit, we sparred together right?

Pit: Well at that time, it was Chaotic.
(Not sure if I got that right.)

Palutena: I became an Angel, not the likes of a Goddess.
Palutena: I once protected you many times, now watch me.
Palutena: Heavenly Light! (Dub says 'Celestial Light!' to probably avoid Religious references)
Palutena: Flame Bomb!
Palutena: Rocket Jump!
Palutena: Teleport!
Palutena: Reflector!
Palutena: Auto Aim! (Seems like this can have multiple meanings)
Palutena: Glider Jump!
Palutena: Counter!
Palutena: Super Speed Dash!
Palutena: Human Missile!
Palutena: Launch Fireworks!
Palutena: Light-Weight Change! (I wasn't sure how to properly translate the 化 at the end.)
Palutena: Black Hole! (I thought how she said it meant an elongation?)
Palutena: Also, Arrow Beam!

Pit: Palutena, you are amazing.

Palutena: It pays off as an Angel. (Not sure I got this right)
Palutena: I can hear the many Fighters gathering here.
Palutena: For little bit longer, I am going to be serious okay.
Palutena: Well, its been a long time huh.

Dark Pit: Seems right.

How did I do? :3

 

[Toritoribe]

Er, I don't know where to start... OK, one by one.

なんの！伊達に死線は越えてませんよ！

Look up なんのこれしき in your dictionary. なんの is an abbreviation of it.
The second sentence has nothing to do with "you". The speaker only talking about his experiance. 死線を越える is an idiom.

 

[Janet Merai]

My Dictionary, iPhone App called Japanese, say's the following:

何の - what kind, what sort
これしき - trifle, insignificant thing, (only) this much
死線を越える - to be out of danger

I'm not sure how to put it into a translation seeing as how it seems to imply he's saying something like "How insignificant" to express his thoughts?

Regarding the rest of it, possibly Pit is saying he is in danger due to the negative tense?

I'm not sure really, what do you think?

 

[Toritoribe]

これしき【此れしき】の英語・英訳 - 和英辞書 - goo辞書
何のこれしきの英訳｜英辞郎 on the WEB：アルク

Do you know the difference between 朝ご飯を食べません and 朝ご飯を食べて（い）ません?

Does your dictionary have an explanation or translation of 伊達に with a negative predicative?

 

[Namico]

Sorry for interrupting. I just can't help saying this. The name of the last attack Palutena lashed out is not right.

アロービーム → 波動ビーム
Arrow Beam → Wave Beam (It's called "Mega Laser" in the original game.)

Sure, the pronunciation is pretty close. Maybe I'm getting a little bit too serious now.

これしき【此れしき】の英語・英訳 - 和英辞書 - goo辞書
何のこれしきの英訳｜英辞郎 on the WEB：アルク
Do you know the difference between 朝ご飯を食べません and 朝ご飯を食べて（い）ません?
Does your dictionary have an explanation or translation of 伊達に with a negative predicative?

The first one is "Someone does not eat breakfast.", and the next one is "Someone is not eating breakfast."
That is, they are in different tenses.

 

[Toritoribe]

アロービーム → 波動ビーム

Ah, I see. Thanks for the correction.

The first one is "Someone does not eat breakfast.", and the next one is "Someone is not eating breakfast."
That is, they are in different tenses.

That's not incorrect, but I was talking about another function of the ～ていない form, i.e., another tense than the present progressive tense, which is related to 伊達に死線は越えてませんよ.

 

[Janet Merai]

Edit - I am bookmarking the link you sent me.
My Dictionary does not have grammar or conjugation forms.

I am also editing this as I came back, been really busy at my job.

Going based on what was already asked and answered, I did know the difference but it took me a bit of time to realize it.

The ～ていません compared to ～ません was an obvious hint XD
More in-depth, the 「ていません」 would mean the person exists not eating in a negative tense.
「べません」 means its just that the person does not eat breakfast as it is more direct and does not indicate the person exists.

I do admit though, my grammar is not the best and I am indeed trying :3

Also, are we sure that is 魔導 and not アロー?
And yes, it is indeed called "Mega Laser" in the Localized Game.

As for the last part, I am not too familiar with 「ていない」.

My Dictionary has two entries for just the ひらがな.

First 「いる」～「いない」
"to be )of animate objects), to exist"
"to stay"
"(after the -te form of a verb) verb indicating continuing action or state )i.e. to be ..ing, to have been ..ing)"
This does list いない but uses its original present いる form for some odd reason.

Second 「いる」～「いない」
"to calm down"

 

[Toritoribe]

I highly recommend reading a decent grammar book. ～ている form is a very basic structure even pure beginners must know. ～ている form expresses perfect tense in my example sentence, thus, 朝ご飯を食べて（い）ません means "I haven't eaten breakfast yet". Whereas 食べません is for near future, the speaker's will or present habit.

だて【伊達】の英語・英訳 - 和英辞書 - goo辞書
伊達の英語・英訳 - 英和辞典・和英辞典 Weblio辞書

波動ビーム is correct. You can use google search to confirm it.

 

[Mike Cash]

If you haven't learned such basic basic BASIC Japanese 101 grammar yet please allow me to very strongly recommend that you drop whatever else you're working on and go back and do so. The notion that you're going to have success understanding Japanese speech or proofreading/translating anything with such an inadequate grasp of Japanese grammar is so implausible that it is hard not to use the word "laughable" to describe it.

I'm not trying to make fun of you or bash your efforts, Janet, but rather to encourage you to turn your efforts in a direction that will result in visible, meaningful, fulfilling progress and improvement. You can watch Japanese cartoons and look up words in dictionaries until the cows come home, but if you don't have a grasp of grammar (and hence also syntax) then your time and energy will be spent aimlessly spinning your wheels with little to no forward progress.

 

[Janet Merai]

I agree with Mike Cash, I will go with Grammar studies :3

Thank you for your help :3

 

[Mike Cash]

It's not fun, but nothing pays off more in the long run.