Would you bring your kids to live in Japan?

[Kyoto Returnee]

This has been a huge issue for myself having a half Japanese Aussie son.

I have experienced all sorts of stories from full Japanese, half, and Western.

Of course, I decided totally against coming back to Japan long term as I feel my sons education and LIFE is very important so will stay in OZ..

Racsim and discrimination in Japan were also a huge concern on my mind and I did not want my son growing up in a country where he would have to possibly face, or know about these issues.

What do you think about life for kids in Japan including schooling, etc.?

 

[Chi65]

Not at all now, the way it goes now, by all means.

Good question though!

My own daughter attended one semester Japanology on the Humboldt University here, plus wishes to visit Japan. She is old enough, to make up her mind now, and has seen many places (I took her with me on many trips, very early already), plus grew up in a multi-cultural environment and school. I am not worried about her judgements or decisions.

 

[Mike Cash]

And we all know that racism and discrimination are not issues in Australia......

Take too hard a line on this and your kid is going to end up in Japan anyway....just without his father.

My kids were born here, go to neighborhood schools, and we have never had the slightest bit of trouble based on race/discrimination. Not once. They're 14 and 12.

Are you sure you're not using your son as a convenient cover for your own desire not to live in Japan long term?

When we marry Japanese women, we have to be fully ready and willing to face the possibility that it is we who will be required to give up our home country and live forever-n-ever in theirs. Foreign men take it for granted that they will be able to stay in Japan just as long as it suits them, then drag their Japanese bride (who may very well seem willing or even eager at the time) back to their home country. Problem is, for all that so many Japanese women seem so eager to live overseas.....when it comes right down to brass tacks a great many of them prove not to transplant very well. Then you end up with the problem of the foreign husband being unwilling to make their permanent home in Japan or, more commonly, being unable to do so since the prospect of another 30+ years sitting in a GEOS classroom curdles their blood and they have either developed no other job skills marketable in Japan or the requisite Japanese language skills to back them up. That's the point where the divorce lawyers come marching in and Mama and the kids go flying off to Japan. This isn't conjecture, folks. I've seen too many examples of it go marching by.

The most important thing to your kid is a mother and father to raise him, regardless of whether it be in Japan or Australia. Regardless of what school he does or does not attend. You think breaking up his home in a misguided attempt to make sure which school he goes to is doing him a service?

 

[Glenski]

Tough question.

There is bullying practically everywhere, not just in the big cities. In the small city where I live, a kid just killed himself, and one suspected reason is bullying. (He is not a "haafu".)

If you are talking about nothing except education, you will just have to compare with your own country. Kids in Japan will learn a different way (much more teacher-centered and passive), and some subjects will be more limited. History, for example. Then, there is the issue of cost. Want to avoid a lot of the above? International schools will cost you a bundle.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

And we all know that racism and discrimination are not issues in Australia......

Are you sure you're not using your son as a convenient cover for your own desire not to live in Japan long term?

Honestly do not see or feel racism in Australia.

I know loads of Japanese, Chinese and Korean and they do not feel it here either.

I have a few Japanese friends who as families migrated from Japan to Australia, kids in school here, all could not be jollier.

As for me using it as "cover", not that either as I love living in Japan. The issue is about my son, not definite decisions but a concern to say the least.

I have a good friend in Cairns who worked fro Mainichi newspaapers in Japan for 15 years. They now run a small resort.

His wife is Japanese/Korean, born and raised in Japan, but they all packed their bags back to Australia as they were very worried about Japan's education and life teaching systems. They have two girls..

I used to teach kids in Japan.. Hugely successful, but their communication with their parents appeared non existent at times and teaching a small kid around 8pm at night also used to scare me.

Tough question.

There is bullying practically everywhere, not just in the big cities. In the small city where I live, a kid just killed himself, and one suspected reason is bullying. (He is not a "haafu".)

If you are talking about nothing except education, you will just have to compare with your own country. Kids in Japan will learn a different way (much more teacher-centered and passive), and some subjects will be more limited. History, for example. Then, there is the issue of cost. Want to avoid a lot of the above? International schools will cost you a bundle.

Hi Glenski:

Your opinions definitely echo here..

I'm more worried about my son bullying other kids without realizing it if you get my drift..

He will no doubt be big, strong and possibly to friendly which could be bad in Japan..

If we were living their, I figured standard schools would be the first option so Kai would feel the "same"

Of course sports are fine as rugby is their, not sure about cricket besides the international team over at Kobe..

 

[Mike Cash]

Those are all going to be moot points when you're sitting in Australia by yourself and you wife and son are in Japan.

You can recount anecdotes of blissful others until the cows come home, but they don't affect how your wife feels and how she is likely to act. And you need to give some thought to the fact that no matter how objectively correct your thoughts on the Japanese educational system and the future prospects for life in Japan, your wife very likely finds them highly insulting. After all, this is her, her family, her community, her nation, the entire 我々日本人 you're insulting. I just realized this last portion is addressing something you have since gone back and edited out of your original post, but you'll know what I'm talking about so I'll leave it in anyway.

 

[Goldiegirl]

Coming from my view as woman, I wouldn't bring my kids to Japan to live if I didn't have to. I would prefer overall to live in my home country, with my family and friends. I know it is selfish and I admit to that. It's not because I don't like Japan. I think perhaps women want roots; stability and thats what we get from our family. My husband is pretty happy go lucky with where he lives; as long as his basic needs are met (food, clothing, shelter, job...etc) he's generally happy. I think kids will happy as long as their parents are happy.

 

[FrustratedDave]

The education system in Australia sucks, it is as simple as that. I would rather have my children go to school here b/c they will actually learn something.( and they do go to school here) Sure life is different here ,but a childs life revolves around education. Ofcorse this has a price ,but I think it is worth it. There is no racial atmosphere here where my kids go to school either.

I agree with Mike and are wondering if you have only half the story.

And about your Japanese/ Korean friends, if they want their kids to be unpressuered and grow up to be knuckleheads ,then the Australian school system is the way to go, especially the public system.

The only thing I would say that Australian schools are good at is cultivating sports heros, but they are few and far between, so don't pin your hopes on that.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

Coming from my view as woman, I wouldn't bring my kids to Japan to live if I didn't have to. I would prefer overall to live in my home country, with my family and friends. I know it is selfish and I admit to that. It's not because I don't like Japan. I think perhaps women want roots; stability and thats what we get from our family. My husband is pretty happy go lucky with where he lives; as long as his basic needs are met (food, clothing, shelter, job...etc) he's generally happy. I think kids will happy as long as their parents are happy.

I'm leaning on your side Goldiegirl.

I have friends who recently migrated to Sydney from South Africa and the kids love it here.

I never had any problems, neither did my friends, nephews and nieces, etc.

We all went to a mix of private and Public schools in the Sydney city harbour and beaches area.

Obviously, you have to pick your schools over here and areas also reflect certain values, etc.

I have just heard to many negative points about the education system in Japan.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

The education system in Australia sucks, it is as simple as that. The only thing I would say that Australian schools are good at is cultivating sports heros, but they are few and far between, so don't pin your hopes on that.

Why do you say that Australian schools, quote: sucks?

I didn't do much at scholl myself, possibly because I wasn't that way inclined and more interested in smoking pot and surfing seven days a week, but that was just me.

of course I've changed..

I was running my own camping store in Sydney in my early 20's, went on to open my own restaurant, did a stint on the Sydney Olympics and more..

Never had a personal problem with schools here and definitely look back as my fun days..

My brother-in-law is a Lawyer, my sister runs her own advertising agency, one cousin a doctor, other eye specialist, other a famous stockbroker, and they are enjoying life and have what they want..

As a side note for Chi, a good frind Adam Gibson has moved on to be successful as a drummer.. His father named Bob Gibson, a famous saxophone player..

So cannot understand Mike and Dave with all this Australian school blue thoughts..

I was more interested in Japanese schools..

Those are all going to be moot points when you're sitting in Australia by yourself and you wife and son are in Japan.

.

I've passed on your feelings Mike to her, although your comment really will not happen, unfortunate for her, I know;-)

 

[Mike Cash]

I never said one word about the Australian schools.

I do hope I've made the point that it matters not in the least what any number of your acquaintances feel about Australia. Your wife has her own opinions and perceptions which make up her reality, which is the one you'd better be paying a bit more attention to and giving some weight, rather than discounting them in comparison to those of everybody else under the sun.

 

[FrustratedDave]

I did say Australian schools suck, especially the public school system. I bet that your freinds /family went to private schools and if they didn't they are few that make it through with a decent education. Teachers of public schools are a joke, they are more concerned about how much they will get paid and how many holidays they will receive. these are some of the fundamental problems with the public education system.

You put out all these names, but the education level in Australia is below par. Sure they do fine in Australia, but that is b/c the bar is quite low. The only reason why Australia is up there in the world arena is b/c of the natural resources, have a look at the product development sector, it is almost non existent. Australia dosen't even have its own car manufacture, it is an American based GMH and Ford.

Maybe if you are only going to live in Australia then it may be ok, but don't expect too much from your kids unless they are extremly self motivated.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

I never said one word about the Australian schools.

I do hope I've made the point that it matters not in the least what any number of your acquaintances feel about Australia. Your wife has her own opinions and perceptions which make up her reality, which is the one you'd better be paying a bit more attention to and giving some weight, rather than discounting them in comparison to those of everybody else under the sun.

You sound very concerned about my wife..

I do realize she has her own opinions and I have mine, as clearly so do you.

But like I said, I am trying to get a bearing on kids growing up in Japan.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

I did say Australian schools suck, especially the public school system. I bet that your freinds /family went to private schools and if they didn't they are few that make it through with a decent education. Teachers of public schools are a joke, they are more concerned about how much they will get paid and how many holidays they will receive. these are some of the fundamental problems with the public education system.

You put out all these names, but the education level in Australia is below par. Sure they do fine in Australia, but that is b/c the bar is quite low. The only reason why Australia is up there in the world arena is b/c of the natural resources, have a look at the product development sector, it is almost non existent. Australia dosen't even have its own car manufacture, it is an American based GMH and Ford.

Maybe if you are only going to live in Australia then it may be ok, but don't expect too much from your kids unless they are extremly self motivated.

I hear you their Dave and I am guessing is what you are saying in a long sort of way is Japanese schools are better than Australian schools..

I personally don't think all schools in Australia or "good", but it tends to lean on the surrounding area where the school is located, and then as you say, if one can afford, definitely some top notch private schools.

Obviously, comparing Japanese schools to Australian schools is like chalk and cheese due to the culture, language, etc.

I would think comparing US and Australian schools may be better with possibly UK coming in tops..

Generally, I think their is a poor focus on grammar, etc. In Australian schools.

It's a pretty easy going world over here, relaxed and a lot of fun so kids certainly appear much happier than they do in Japan.. That suits me.

Not sure if that is school related or lifestyle, family, etc.

Some of the kids I used to teach in Japan looked like they had not much emotional and communication contact with parents..

 

[Mike Cash]

You sound very concerned about my wife..

I do realize she has her own opinions and I have mine, as clearly so do you.

Throughout the thread, and especially in the part you deleted from your first post, you have sounded very dismissive of her opinion. Sort of an "Everybody I know is fine with it, so she should be too." attitude comes across.

But like I said, I am trying to get a bearing on kids growing up in Japan.

What for? You seem pretty dead set against raising your kids here. Or are you actually open to the idea?

Look, I don't care where you live and where your kid goes to school. I just think you should be willing to bend enough to keep your family together so he can have mother and father both in the same home. If a move to Japan would facilitate that, then I think it is something I would urge you to consider.

 

[thatsme]

It is very natural that parents want for their kid a good education whatever that means.

In few words while we are constantly worried about the education system in whatever country you plan to live or currently live, the reality is as long as both parents them self live in harmony children will most of the time be happy, or content.

I was for once dead worry about the education system but something made me think, and the final thought is I am fine with the situation now, that is my wife my kid and me, the rest will sort it self out.

While I think the education is the utomost important for a kid at the same time since I have also being a kid or I am still, I turned out to be an ok Human, therefore I should conclude that young human will eventually sort them self out.

Obviously we parents can't guarantee the happiness for our children, there are many thing that we can't control, but still we can minimize that risk.

Now to reply the OP, I would, as long as both parents are ok with that, regardless what I or she thinks about the educational system.

Roger out.

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Personally, I think the parents and how the parents relate to their children is the most important thing.

If the parents teach their children self-respect and responsibility from a young age, the children will be fine whether they go to school in Australia or Japan.

If the parents do not teach their children self-respect and responsibility, where the children grow up is a moot point.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

Personally, I think the parents and how the parents relate to their children is the most important thing.

If the parents teach their children self-respect and responsibility from a young age, the children will be fine whether they go to school in Australia or Japan.

If the parents do not teach their children self-respect and responsibility, where the children grow up is a moot point.

I totally agree Mikawa Ossan:

Japan is however a big difference to other countries so It's a big change.

I remember when I first went to Japan and all the great things I noticed about Japanese kids..

The best point was the honesty which left Aussie kids out in the dark.

I also noticed that kids were hugely involved in club and after school activities and they really looked forward to that..

I was however, never really sure and in the dark about the, apparantly, rigurous education system, and used to teach kids quite late into the night, in which during class, they could hardly keep their eyes open let alone concentrate..

I also realize that Japan is a hugely a "fit-in" society so this always worried me as in Australia, kids generally go their own ways, and we have a varied culture base here so we follow the difference is "normal" rule, correct me if i'm wrong, but in Japan, don't they believe in the "follow the leader" style?

I honeslty do not know much about the national education system in Japan, although I am a great believer in getting out of scholl and having a run-a-round with your friends..

I find the Juku thing a little difficult to comprehend as surely being at school all day is long enough..

 

[Davey]

You don't have to send your kids to a juku...... I am not going to that.

I have spoken to a lot of kids (I work at different elementary schools), and a lot of kids are actually enjoying their time at the juku.

You don't have to send your kids to a juku...... I am not going to that.

I have spoken to a lot of kids (I work at different elementary schools), and a lot of kids are actually enjoying their time at the juku.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

Throughout the thread, and especially in the part you deleted from your first post, you have sounded very dismissive of her opinion. Sort of an "Everybody I know is fine with it, so she should be too." attitude comes across.



What for? You seem pretty dead set against raising your kids here. Or are you actually open to the idea?

Look, I don't care where you live and where your kid goes to school. I just think you should be willing to bend enough to keep your family together so he can have mother and father both in the same home. If a move to Japan would facilitate that, then I think it is something I would urge you to consider.

I deleted the original part as I figured it would cause posts exactly like your's which really was not my main interest.

I'm trying to get a bearing here on what the thread heading says, not my wife..

Really Mike, Get over it. All good:122:

You don't have to send your kids to a juku...... I am not going to that.

I have spoken to a lot of kids (I work at different elementary schools), and a lot of kids are actually enjoying their time at the juku.

You don't have to send your kids to a juku...... I am not going to that.

I have spoken to a lot of kids (I work at different elementary schools), and a lot of kids are actually enjoying their time at the juku.

You are right and exactly what my wife said..

I always figured if my son was as happy and good humoured as me, he will be fine in all situations and always able to see the good, serious and funny sides..

Looks like the Foreign Buyers Club may get a customer back.. Does it still exist?

 

[ArmandV]

I deleted the original part as I figured it would cause posts exactly like your's which really was not my main interest.

I'm trying to get a bearing here on what the thread heading says, not my wife..

Really Mike, Get over it. All good:122:

Sorry, you already let that genie out of the bottle. Mike is right, you should consider how your wife feels. Believe it or not, a marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Concerning your son, she has as much say in the matter as you do. You should be both putting your heads together to decide what is the best course for your child.

You can pooh-pooh her feelings on this, but if you end up splitting up your family due to someone's pig-headedness, then down the road your child will resent the one causing the breakup of the family unit. I speak from experience. My daughter (now 21) resents her mother's actions in breaking up our family.

 

[TheMinion]

Some of the kids I used to teach in Japan looked like they had not much emotional and communication contact with parents..

Isn't this the fault of the parents and not the educational system? Just make sure you don't make the same mistakes with your kids...

 

[FrustratedDave]

I hear you their Dave and I am guessing is what you are saying in a long sort of way is Japanese schools are better than Australian schools..

From an education standpoint, yes Japan schools are better, but there are deffinately some good things about Australian schools as I am not completely dismissing them.

It's a pretty easy going world over here, relaxed and a lot of fun so kids certainly appear much happier than they do in Japan.. That suits me.

Not sure if that is school related or lifestyle, family, etc.

Some of the kids I used to teach in Japan looked like they had not much emotional and communication contact with parents..

Thats it, do you want your kids to grow up in an environment where there is not much stress placed on learning(talking public schools) or do you want them to get a proper education? Which brings the next question, where do you expect you and your kids to live? I know plenty of people who went to public schools here (college included) which is completely Japanese, but then went on to go to an English speaking college and graduate there too. This gives them the option choose where they want to work. And with you being native english speaking your child will have a head start if they decide to go that path.

 

[Kyoto Returnee]

And with you being native english speaking your child will have a head start if they decide to go that path.

That's definitely a good point that comes to mind..

I do agree that the Japanese average schooling sytem would have higher standards than Australia, but as we know, at the end of the day, it's up to the child how interested they are.

I know I was never interested in school and could not wait to leave..

My wife of course feels the opossite and often boasts how good her Kanji is, etc.

I would say she was a school lover and did well..

It's a difficult decision to pull..

 

[Glenski]

Kyoto Returnee,
How old is your son? That will play some role in his adjustment.

I also suggest looking at this site for more advice and info.
http://www.tokyowithkids.com/cgi/discus/discus.cgi

Best of luck, whatever you choose.