Does she like me?

[Achilles 1-1]

Hey guys, I saw what you guys did for @Hudts, and I wanted to know if you could help me too.


So there's this girl in my art class that I fell in love with, but I don't know if she likes me back. I want to ask this girl to formal, but am very nervous. I think she likes me back, but lol I have to go on is that she likes talking to me, makes direct eye contact with me (most times, if she's not working on a painting), and has said I'm one of her best friends. We have a few things in common, but I'm really nervous about asking her to formal or for like, her phone number. Does she like me, or am I just dreaming, because I think she does like me, just a little bit.\\\

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Have you ever done anything together outside of art class?

 

[Achilles 1-1]

Have you ever done anything together outside of art class?

Yes, we talk in 8th period sometimes, and during serve day i got to talk with her a lot.

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

Do kids still talk on the phone? I thought people didn't do that any more. If it's not weird to call and talk, I'd say you could ask her to the formal, then if she says yes, you could then ask her phone number. Or you could start out with the phone number. Either way, keep it light. Don't make it seem like a big deal that you're asking. That would probably be a big turn off.

Hopefully a parent can help you out. I have a niece and nephews, and they certainly never talk to me about this sort of thing.

 

[Achilles 1-1]

Ya, I'm gonna try to ask for her phone number.

 

[mdchachi]

My kids seem to link up with people including girls over Snapchat. I guess it avoids the awkwardness of asking for a phone number.

 

[Lothor]

I've got no concrete suggestions, but I wanted to wish you all the best with it. Connecting with her on social media seems like a good idea, as it's another avenue of communication (though don't stalk the poor girl! ) and you can occasionally send her stuff that will make her laugh. In my admittedly limited experience, making women laugh increases your chances.

 

[Achilles 1-1]

I'm not allowed on social media though

 

[Grandpa Frank]

JREF now labeled number one on "Social Media" internet ! LOL

 

[Achilles 1-1]

JREF now labeled number one on "Social Media" internet ! LOL

Okay, well, she's not on this forum, LOL. I'm allowed to be here bc my family doesn't consider this to be "real" social media, XD.

 

[mdchachi]

I guess you're going to have to deal with this old-fashioned way and talk to her awkwardly face to face. Or use friends as intermediaries.

 

[Grandpa Frank]

 

[Achilles 1-1]

Is making direct eye contact with me most of the time—when she's not working on a painting she doesn't— a good sign?

 

[mdchachi]

Is making direct eye contact with me most of the time—when she's not working on a painting she doesn't— a good sign?

I would think so.

 

[Achilles 1-1]

Every so often, she looks back and looks at me, but tries to hide it by immediately looking somewhere else, especially when i catch her gaze. What does that mean?

 

[mdchachi]

Means she's probably interested.

 

[Achilles 1-1]

One of the reasons I'm so scared to talk to her is because i have Avoidant Personality Disorder, or AVPD. Do you guys have any advice for how to get over that?

 

[Grandpa Frank]

I find the life of a hermit and avoiding people now fits me best. Probably not a good choice for a young fella though.

 

[mdchachi]

One of the reasons I'm so scared to talk to her is because i have Avoidant Personality Disorder, or AVPD. Do you guys have any advice for how to get over that?

That would explain why you overreacted to stuff I said in the past. But be careful about letting people put you in a psychiatry box.
Almost everybody has the feelings you described. Generally speaking you need to practice whatever it is you're afraid of until you get over it.

 

[Lothor]

One of the reasons I'm so scared to talk to her is because i have Avoidant Personality Disorder, or AVPD. Do you guys have any advice for how to get over that?

You have my sympathies there. Is that a disorder you've officially been diagnosed with? You probably know that none of us can wave a magic wand and that all we can offer is encouragement. mdchachi - Although these feelings are common, the existence of this problem as a disorder has been recognized for some time (over 100 years according to Wikipedia). The recent proliferation of disorders is a mixed blessing (I've recently copyedited a whole book written by a psychiatrist on this!), but please go with derekiscool on this one.

One approach to treating such disorders is cognitive behavioural therapy, which focuses more on the here and now rather than delves into the underlying reasons why you have this disorder. In this approach, you look at coping strategies and, with the support of a practitioner, gradually expose yourself to situations that you find risky. There's an element of target setting there, which you can do by yourself. I have gone through CBT myself with an anxiety problem that I still have, with partial success. In other words, what mdchachi says – practise! The more in-depth approach is full-blown therapy, where you examine why you have this problem with a therapist and possibly uncover some subconscious thoughts and repressed memories.

One thing to think about is the signals you are sending her if you are showing interest, either overtly or through your unconscious gestures, and then backing off because you're fearing rejection. The situation may also be confusing to her. With this 'formal' that you mentioned, now might be the easiest time to make a move because you have a pretext to do so. I'm not saying that it is easy though.

Good luck!

 

[Achilles 1-1]

You have my sympathies there. Is that a disorder you've officially been diagnosed with? You probably know that none of us can wave a magic wand and that all we can offer is encouragement. mdchachi - Although these feelings are common, the existence of this problem as a disorder has been recognized for some time (over 100 years according to Wikipedia). The recent proliferation of disorders is a mixed blessing (I've recently copyedited a whole book written by a psychiatrist on this!), but please go with derekiscool on this one.

One approach to treating such disorders is cognitive behavioural therapy, which focuses more on the here and now rather than delves into the underlying reasons why you have this disorder. In this approach, you look at coping strategies and, with the support of a practitioner, gradually expose yourself to situations that you find risky. There's an element of target setting there, which you can do by yourself. I have gone through CBT myself with an anxiety problem that I still have, with partial success. In other words, what mdchachi says – practise! The more in-depth approach is full-blown therapy, where you examine why you have this problem with a therapist and possibly uncover some subconscious thoughts and repressed memories.

One thing to think about is the signals you are sending her if you are showing interest, either overtly or through your unconscious gestures, and then backing off because you're fearing rejection. The situation may also be confusing to her. With this 'formal' that you mentioned, now might be the easiest time to make a move because you have a pretext to do so. I'm not saying that it is easy though.

Good luck!

Thank you for the wishes of luck! I wouldn't say professionally diagnosed, but I took five different tests for it, and got the exact same result for it every time. I have each and every symptom that is associated with it, and I've always had the gut feeling that there is something mental unstable about me, so when I heard about AVPD and its symptoms, I knew that's what it was.

Here's the symptoms.

1. Social Inhibition: Individuals may feel extremely uncomfortable in social situations, often avoiding interactions with others due to fear of embarrassment or judgment.

2. Feelings of Inadequacy: A strong sense of low self-worth and feelings of being inferior to others, leading to self-doubt and self-criticism.

3. Hypersensitivity to Criticism: An intense sensitivity to the opinions of others, often interpreting neutral or even benign comments as negative or critical.

4. Avoidance of Social Activities: A tendency to avoid social gatherings or situations where one might be the center of attention, leading to isolation.

5. Fear of Rejection: An overwhelming fear of being rejected or criticized, which can prevent individuals from initiating relationships or participating in activities.

6. Reluctance to Engage: Individuals may be reluctant to take personal risks or engage in new experiences, fearing embarrassment or ridicule.

7. Difficulty with Relationships: Struggles to develop and maintain close relationships, often keeping others at a distance due to fear of being hurt or rejected.

8. Self-Isolation: Choosing to remain lonely rather than risk social activities due to fear of adverse outcomes.

 

[MarieCherry]

Hey guys, I saw what you guys did for @Hudts, and I wanted to know if you could help me too.


So there's this girl in my art class that I fell in love with, but I don't know if she likes me back. I want to ask this girl to formal, but am very nervous. I think she likes me back, but lol I have to go on is that she likes talking to me, makes direct eye contact with me (most times, if she's not working on a painting), and has said I'm one of her best friends. We have a few things in common, but I'm really nervous about asking her to formal or for like, her phone number. Does she like me, or am I just dreaming, because I think she does like me, just a little bit.\\\

sorry man she taken she is with me rn ur to late SHES MY GIRL :33333

 

[MarieCherry]

jk btw i hope u and her start dating

 

[MarieCherry]

Okay, well, she's not on this forum, LOL. I'm allowed to be here bc my family doesn't consider this to be "real" social media, XD.

you could ask her to join to the fourm so u can talk to her on here

 

[Grandpa Frank]

Trouble there if she joined , all his secret life history is on here. My crystal ball says we are all invited to his & her wedding in 4 years from now.